My boyfriend and I have been dating since April 2005 and have been talking since September 2004. I am 29 and he is 28. I brought up the subject of marriage in December 2006 and he said that he wanted to think about it for a while. So I brought it up again this December 2007 and he says that he doesn't know if he wants to get engaged in 2009 or 2010. At this time, he doesn't want to get married but has told me that I am wife material and would make a great wife, but doesn't think that he would make a good husband at this point. (He didn't say why).
I respect his answer, but I am ready to get married and to start having children. I am very much in love with him, but since I feel that he's not in love with me, I want to break up or either take a break and possibly get back together later? What should I do?
2007-12-31 03:05:41 · 29 answers · asked by Hurt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
01-02-2007. Thank you all so much for your answers!
I decided to break up on New Year Eve's. Didn't want to go into the new year with this on my mind and heart. He didn't want to break up, but we did. Now he's calling me more now than before, but he did say that I was worth fighting for, and that he does want to be married to me with children but was afraid. I told him to take some time to think on it, but to keep in mind that if he waits too long, I will be gone. I was told that if you love something to let it go and if it comes back to you then you know.
Thanks once again for helping me do this. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
2008-01-02 04:16:08 · update #1
Run for the HILLS! He doesn't want to marry you. LISTEN to him. Half of marriages end in a divorce
Take a few days in this Marriage forum and look at the disheartening Q&A's pertaing to marriage.
Put yourself back on the market and do not think that you invested time in the relationship and use that as an excuse.
If he wants to become marriage material in the future, it will be your choice if you want to try it again or not.
2007-12-31 03:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by heartsarebad 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Break up, he will not change. He does not want to be commited for a reason. Sounds like something is going on, don't waste any more time with him.
2007-12-31 04:09:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You would be wise to break up with this guy. He's stringing you along, until Miss Right shows up. In the meantime, he wants to guarantee himself regular sex and all the comforts of home. I understand that you love him, but he's not going to commit; so you need to move on. When a man says a woman "would make a great wife," he's not talking about for himself. It's not that he doesn't think he'll make a good husband, it's that he's waiting for Miss Right to dazzle him. A lot of men let good women slip through their fingers in this manner. They want to wait for a better deal, but ultimately end up alone.
Don't waste anymore time on this guy. If he wants to get engaged, after you've broken up with him, understand that this may be a trap to keep you hanging on for another year or two. Considering the game he's playing, I would only stay if we set the date of marriage 6 to 8 months from now. He's had plenty of time to think; so if he didn't agree to marry me by August, 2008 (and that means making plans now), I'd be done with him. You can have a small wedding, or get married at the courthouse and plan a nice reception later; so don't fall for the "let's save for a year or two" game. Either he's going to marry you now--in 2008, or walk. Be wise, girlfriend.
2007-12-31 03:31:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well if you want gets young its kinda too late for that. cuz if you stay with him and wont get married yet you'll be older. and if you go out with a new guy, who knows how many years it will take him to get close to you to want to get married.
if the guy your with is in a business that keeps him busy that might be his problem. if you love him enough you should stay with him. eventually yall will have kids. if you were to break up you would probably regret knowing yall have been together so long.
one problem with todays society is people who live together never want to get married.
best of luck
2007-12-31 03:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
How much longer are you willing to put your life on hold? Cuz that's what you are doing......you are also letting him control this part of your life. Take back control, even if that means saying goodbye.
You can love someone and NOT belong with them...the sooner you realize this, the easier it will be to see a future for yourself.
2007-12-31 03:12:55 · answer #5 · answered by that judi 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't believe that he will ever committee to you.
I have seen men many times say that they are not ready to get married, and then turn around and meet someone else and quickly get engages.
The truth is, if he doesn't want to marry you now, what is going to change in a few years?
The fact that he can't make up his mind is not a good sign.
2007-12-31 03:11:37 · answer #6 · answered by conim2002 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Do you base your opinion that he does not love you on the fact that he's not ready to get engaged??? Or do you honestly believe that he doesn't love you?
If you break things off, or take a break, there are no guarantees that he will be willing to try again later. If the relationship is otherwise great, than why take that kind of chance?
Marriage is a huge commitment, and not to be taken lightly. Considering the current divorce rates, I find it admirable that your guy is man enough to say that he's not quite ready to take that step. I'm not telling you to wait forever....but I am saying that another year or two won't kill you. It's a jump to be made when both parties are ready.
2007-12-31 03:11:32 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
It sounds like he is making excuses. I would break up with him. It shouldnt take that long for him to marry you. When you know you just know. Dont let him jerk you around. You deserve happiness too.
2007-12-31 03:11:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
you need to tell him how you feel first.......... and if you decided to break up or take a break, its just better for the both of you to go your sepperate ways....... or just be patient.. i have to
2007-12-31 03:09:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
just talk to him about it more and then decide
2007-12-31 03:09:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋