our children range from 12-16, i just want the children to be happy, and my husband, i have hurt him badly
2007-12-31 03:00:17 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When I divorce my first husband......I made the decision for all 3 of our teenagers to remain with their father....because he was going to stay in the house...and they would still be able to go to school in the same school district that they have always been in...I didn't want them to have to feel like they had to choose....I know that they all love me very much...and are grateful for me not asking them to choose...
2007-12-31 03:05:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Seriously consider joint custody; it's usually best for the children. You could have an arrangement where the children live with one parent in the home during the week and continue at their schools - that's the least disruptive for them - and spend Friday nights through Sunday nights or Monday mornings with the other parent.
Or, if the second parent can find a home nearby, you could split out the week or alternate weeks as to where they live.
Be sure to have holidays as a complete family - not with one or the other parent - if that is possible. Surely as adults you can both put your differences behind you for a few days out of the year for the sake of the children.
You could select even and odd years for separate vacations with the kids or each have them at a different time during the summer for vacations and split the vacation time during the winter.
The children are the most important consideration. You want to do what is least disruptive to their lives at their ages. Do NOT let them make the choice; you and hubby should be able to sit down and work out a system/schedule that works - even sharing picking up from school or transporting to sports/school functions if necessary - if you keep the kids' welfare first and your differences second.
Nothing is less satisfying than a visitation schedule that has been put together by an attorney. Please show this post to your hubby and agree to work together for the children's good first and foremost.
2007-12-31 03:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by L.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please, don't ask them to choose one of you! ask them where they want to live, that way they may be forthcoming. they're old enough to know that by choosing 1, they are going to break the heart of the other. that's an impossible position to put innocent kids in. if you have already left it would be the utmost cruelty to remove them from their dad & home. i pray you can come to a solution that means the least heartbreak for everyone. good luck, diane.
2007-12-31 03:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by diquarry 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NEVER ASK THE KIDS!!! IT puts them on the spot and makes them get all kinds of uncomfortable feelings!DO NOT ask them!
2007-12-31 03:20:29 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At the age of 12 all children have the right to decide where thay want to live. But be careful you are putting alot of pressure on you kids just by asking them thay are still young and probably want to be with both of you you need to speak to you ex first before you approach the kids. I would then come up with a plan of action to talk to children and allow them all the time to decide personally i wouldent want to seperate the children and it may be best thay stay with one parent whilst the other visits you can decide this between you so you can tell the children what your attensions are and if there happy with that remiding them that thay can see whoever dosent have the kids as and when thay want.
It will also allow them to decide then and there who thay want to be with without having to ask and its there own decison. But tell them if thay ever want to live with either parent thay can its up to them.
2007-12-31 03:20:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to bad you didnt think about what could happen before you blew it so now your going to hurt the kids also .will he except them and will you get out of there lives or try to fix the problem with your kids by telling them the truth
2007-12-31 03:10:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the court for professional mediation with the children. This is a free service and will help determine what is best for the kids in a non confrontive atmosphere.
2007-12-31 03:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i had lunch with mine and i sat down and told him the honest truth and the out come was good...
2007-12-31 03:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by shayhi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if they are that old just ask them, but if your at fault, than why would you take everything that this man has from him without discussing what he would like to choose and then go to the kids
2007-12-31 03:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
But your name is Paul? The Court is most likely to give custody to the wife. So, even if she has hurt you sit them down and ask them (prob better they stay together).
2007-12-31 03:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by Charlene 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋