He has been cheating on me for almost 6 months, Has called me all sorts of names. I left him two weeks after i found out he was cheating and one week after i found out i was pregnant. I still love him but i have gone through so much to finally make it on my own. I am supposed to start college in the summer, which prolly wont happen if i get back with him. I dont want to break up my family. I know its my own choice and i'm very religious and know what god thinks about divorce but there is a passage in the bible that says "if he strays let him go". I'm litterally in a catch 22 with every moral value i have based my life on. Should we really have to put aside our dreams for love and family? I have three kids not including my 7mo old fetus. He has the kids everyweekend and is a good daddy just made a big mistake. He wants to be a good husband but i don't know how i can let him or tell him no or move on without him. He begged me back crying last night. Opinions only
2007-12-31 02:32:26 · 48 answers · asked by Christine D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the question is not how to take him back... but WILL you take him back? Personally, its not worth it. the only thing he wants is to get into your pants... and other chicks pants as well.
2007-12-31 02:36:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you covenant spouses? This is an important question to answer, because this question determines whether you should take him back or not. If you are covenant spouses, the bible says you are to stay single or be reconciled. Below is what the Bible says about divorce and remarriage.
There are no biblical grounds for divorce, period for covenant spouses. Everyone keeps commenting on that "exception clause"...except for adultery or marital unfaithfulness. The correct translation is fornication.
I discovered thru my research that scholars claim that exception clause refers to the Jewish espousage period when Jewish couples, such as Mary and Joseph, were engaged/married but had not consummated the marriage yet. They have to wait one year before consummating the marriage. I have also discovered that a Greek scholar, Tischendorf, traced the Greek manuscripts and not once was the exception clause in the original Greek manuscripts. The exception clause was added into the bible in the 15th century.
Now that being said, God made marriage for life until death. Jesus specifically said that remarriage is adultery. The only time anyone can marry again is if their covenant spouse is dead. And only then can they marry someone who has never married before or is a widow/widower.
So what does this mean for the person who is divorced from their covenant spouse and remarried to a non-covenant spouse? It means they need to repent and give up that marriage. The same goes for a single people who married a divorced person that left a covenant marriage. These people are in "legal adultery"
Mark 10:11-12 (Jesus) He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."
Luke 16:18 Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery
Since Jesus claims remarriage to a non-covenant spouse is adultery, those in "legal adultery" will not inherit the Kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God
The church is totally blinded to what God's truth is about divorce and remarriage. There are alot of pastors saying it is ok to divorce and remarry. They are telling people what they want to hear, not what God's truth is. Satan is taking alot of people to hell with him because of this.
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Below are two links for the both of you to check out...
Jimmy and Karen Evans have a weekly tv show that discusses marriage. Their shows are on the internet that you can watch. Jimmy is excellent. Jimmy gives very practical guides on how to have a successful marriage. This is an excellent one for your husband to watch. http://www.marriagetoday.org/
http://www.godsavemymarriage.com/ is another website to check out that was set up by a Christian couple.
As for your education, please do NOT give up on that. It is important. If you find it difficult to physically attend classes, you can stay home and get your degree over the internet with schools such as University of Phoenix. God Bless!
2007-12-31 03:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you have a new life and sound like a smart lady. It is bad enough if a spouse cheats on you once but for 6 months. ..no you have worked to make your life yours again and I say no. Who cares that he is crying..probably because he has to take care of the kids himself and that is a lot of work. Which he probably didn't realize. He sounds selfish and you were going to start college. No way, God will love you either way. He knows what is in your heart, you can still be a good family and be loving but live separately. That is good that he is a good father, if he isn't a good husband that is something he is good for. Think about your needs honey. Happy New Year
2007-12-31 02:41:13 · answer #3 · answered by daisyduck4007 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cheating is a deal breaker in my book.
He should have thought about the consequences of his actions BEFORE he cheated on you.
He does not deserve a second chance.
That is my opinion.
2007-12-31 02:39:44 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"Once a cheater, always a cheater" is not just a cute saying, it is pretty accurate. If you can live the rest of your life (not just 1 year or 5 years or 20 years, but until you are dead) with a person you cannot trust and doesn't respect you then go for it. If you are in any way intelligent you will cut the strings and move on. You've already made one mistake, don't make another. He wants you back because he thinks no matter what he does he can get you back just by being "sweet" for a little while. Be smarter than that.
2007-12-31 02:38:46 · answer #5 · answered by jvno 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WOW- I think you should take some more time out to think about this since you obviously have not made a decision. But you should lert him stew in his hsit for a lilttle longer so he'll know that you mean business.
2007-12-31 02:36:32 · answer #6 · answered by nyjae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater! Get on with your life! You deserve someone who will love, honor and cherish only you!
2007-12-31 02:36:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't think you shouldn't take him back. I know this is cliche, but I always say "once a cheater, always a cheater." It's up to you in the end, but it sounds like you already have your hands full and don't need the extra drama. If you can make it on your own, it might be best to keep it that way.
2007-12-31 02:35:53 · answer #8 · answered by ♪♫Just Me♪♫ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's cheated he can NEVER be trusted again. If you value any sense of values you shouldn't give him the time of day.
2007-12-31 02:35:24 · answer #9 · answered by Kristine 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
he's a scumbag.
Eat Funyuns.
2007-12-31 02:34:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋