My boyfriend is always broke! He barely makes enough for his car payments, insurance, and cell phone bill. I feel that he has obviously put too much on his plate.
We don't live together yet, but we're moving in together in July 2008. I have a severe fear of money problems, and I can't seem to find a way to get him straightened out! I love him to death, and we've been talking recently about getting married, but I'm scared to marry someone who isn't financially stable! Help??
2007-12-31 02:25:09 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've talked with him about this, and he said he's going to change, but he hasn't! it's been over 5 months ago since we had the talk!
2007-12-31 02:32:06 · update #1
Neither of us drink, go out, or have many friends. It's just that he makes around 350 to 400 each week and his bills are ridiculously high!
2007-12-31 03:02:36 · update #2
I agree with those who say to post pone the move -in. Talk to him about it and say that you want to start out your new life together with both of you having a clean slate and having a well organized life. This may just be the motivation he needs to get things in order. You should like you have a good grasp on these things, so you can offer your help. July is still pretty far away, you may be able to feel more comfortable with this if he starts working on it now and by the time July comes, you can move in as planned.
Good luck! You sound very mature and I wish you the best
2007-12-31 02:53:52 · answer #1 · answered by Pedsgurl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't move in with him. I was in a similiar sitch with my hubby. He needed me to cover him because he was out of work, owed back support, yada yada yada. So now, for the last 5 months he pays $300 rent, out of 650, and sometimes the light bill, and that's it. And that's with nagging and guilt trips for even asking. And don't even ask me about the ways I will be paying for this relationship for years to come. Needless to say, I am planning to separate from him. You could avoid all that, and just not move in. No one ever really changes their behavior in this regard, and some people just look to hitch themselves to a gravy train.
2007-12-31 04:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by ldteacherteacher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? He may mature, who knows. Trust me, you don't want to get "trapped" in that relationship, meaning, don't move in together or you will be very frustrated all the time.
2007-12-31 04:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has made some unrealistic purchases. How is he going to pay for rent? He needs to sell the car and get a cheaper one, insurance shouldn't be so bad, unless he has irresponsibly gotten tickets, and his cell phone bill is a contract he needs to make sure he is only using what he agreed to. No extra minutes, texts, etc. Do not marry a man who cannot take care of himself. There will come a day when you might need him to completely take care of you--it is a BAD decision. He needs to cut back on his spending. No eating out, no driving around having to fill up the gas tank, car seriously needs to be reconsidered. Can he purchase an older car, a more reliable one? One that gets better gas mileage. I don't know. He needs to get a better job, or re-prioritize his spending.
2007-12-31 04:04:48 · answer #4 · answered by SWEETYPI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T move in with him and DON'T combine finances and DON'T lend him any money!! You are looking at a lifetime of $$ woes with someone who does not handle his own finances. This is a distinct pattern and you cannot FIX him.
You have been warned!! now go and have a great life...without him.
2007-12-31 03:16:49 · answer #5 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't DO IT! Don't move in together and don't get married until you have this straight. The good part about all of this is that all he needs is to get financially educated. As long as he is willing to learn then he can turn things around in his life. Tell him that he really needs to focus on the big picture and be responsible for himself and you if he plans to marry you.
2007-12-31 02:41:53 · answer #6 · answered by BlackRepublican 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IF money stresses you, then WHY are you even considering LIVING with someone who cannot HANDLE it??
You have given the guy more than enough TIME to change - he has NOT, nor is he likely to. YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE, nor should you believe you can.
The reality is: Learn to live WITH his faults, OR leave them - there really is no other option.
2007-12-31 02:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't move in with him (and for gosh sakes don't marry him!) until he gets his finances together and keeps them that way for at least a year. Seriously!
Money/finances is probably the biggest issue in relationships (esp marriages) and if you think he's bad about it now, it won't improve just because y'all said "I do" (typically issues prior to marriage are magnified afterward).
Talk to him frankly about this and if it's unimportant to him, then it may be that he's just not a good match for you. Money can't buy love, but love doesn't pay the bills or put food on the table. Unless you want a life of "robbing peter to pay paul", living hand-to-mouth, and working 2 jobs or more to keep y'all above water, then think long and hard about this situation and be realistic about it.
2007-12-31 02:32:14 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Hold off with moving in with him.
Here's why........
You stated he has barely enough money to cover his car, insurance, and cell phone.
What about rent, utilities, food, gas, and so forth?
Or are you supposed to pick up that tab?
Sounds like he either needs to get 2 jobs, or he needs to get into a career where he makes over $30k.
If money is a concern of yours right now, getting married isn't going to resolve it and it will turn into a huge issue between you.
2007-12-31 02:31:50 · answer #9 · answered by Ella 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
These are warning signs to you. And they're telling you that if you keep him around, your problems are just beginning.
2007-12-31 02:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
My husband was like that when we first started dating. One day he accidentally bounced a check. He just didn't understand how to balance his checkbook. So right before we moved in together/got married we joined our accounts. Then I just took care of it. That was much better. I gave him his "allowance" and I took care of bills. It was his perfect world and mine too so I wouldn't worry about his finances anymore! =)
2007-12-31 02:29:10 · answer #11 · answered by *Almost ready* 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋