I keep falling for my husbands bull crap why? He left me two years ago. I recently spent the night talking with this guy and had a wonderful time. My hubby found out and started coming around more than he was he was coming around about everyday anyway. He started saying maybe he wants to be married again staying the night. I love my husband and always have. Then after finding out my mom has cancer thats treatable we found out theres a spot on her lung and spine. Then I went up north to help my dad with his brother who is going to die any like minute now. My father and uncle are the best guys in the world I feel so bad for the both of them. I came back down last night and asked my husband what hes going to do tonight for new years eve thinking he said he would be with me. Now he says he doesn't want to spend it with me and he came over christmas slept half the day and left and so I spent christmas after my kids left to family members houses by myself. why do i fall for his crap.
2007-12-31 01:53:16 · 16 answers · asked by youcandoit 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we were married 10 years i don't know what to do i just want to be loved and give love i have soo much love to give. why does he keep playing with my emotions and why do i keep letting him. i am soo hurt and confused
2007-12-31 01:54:12 · update #1
Ok, you have been married to him for 10 years and he left you 2 years go. Sweetie, not worth it. I think you need to watch a great play from Tyler Perry called Why Did I Get Married. Please rent it.
You do not let a person treat you like a welcome mat. I know the holidays are rough but check out some clubs that handle divorce issues like this. He is not worth it. He is treating you like crap and you are worth more than that. You are a mother and you need to take care of family business too?
If he wasn't there when you needed him 2 years ago, what makes you think he will now.
You have family members that need you and he is not being sympathic. Please not worth it. Those kids are. Honey, talk to someone because it sounds like depression and I would not want no woman to go through that now.
Take care.
2007-12-31 02:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by CJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your the one that has to make the final decision to be done with him. He just started doing the things he was doing because he was jealous that you started or was thinking about seeing someone else. He's one of those men that don't want to be in a relationship with you,but don't want no one else to have you. And he will keep playing this game with you if you keep letting him.Trust me I know,I had one just like it at one point in my life.I moved on and was better for it.And he ended up regretting not treating me right,when he knew I was in love with him.I know it's easier said than done.But when you just keep going back and forth in a relationship,it never works out the way you want.And sometime we just have to take our loses,but always use them as a learning experience,for your next relationship. Good luck
2007-12-31 11:47:28 · answer #2 · answered by glorene b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this you seperate you don't see him you finally meet someone else and boom hes on your door step. To me it sound like he wants to control you. when we love someone we want them back. Ive been there got the t-shirt. feel you lining yourself for another fall back you ned to get on with you own life and leave the past in the past.
Its entirely you decission on what you want to do. If you take hm back you need to keep it at arms length don't allow him to move back in keep the relasionship on a casula basis alowing you time to yourself to find youself again and to see where the relasionship is going. you have been through the mill and have had enough tragic times yes its great you ex husband has been there for you but it dosent validate a parking ticket if you know what you mean.
take time out to think about it and what you want in life. you want to give love to a man and recieve love back but you ex may not be the right choice you need to think of the reason to why you split up in the first place, and ask youself if you want to live like that again. I feel he's trying to get back in to be looked after again (sorry to be blunt) have a good think and enjoy new year with your mates and have some fun girl.
2007-12-31 11:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He only treats you like this, because YOU let him. Learn to love yourself and gain self esteem.
2007-12-31 11:29:56 · answer #4 · answered by cooter726 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he is taking advantage of the fact that you are emotionally delicate now because of the turmiol in your family. Don't make any decisions either way until things settle down and you cope with your mom's cancer and your uncle's situation, otherwise you may end up doing it for the wrong reasons. good luck!
2007-12-31 10:59:00 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Well, my wife and I are divorced for two years and I still love her and want to get back together. We have two little girls. My wife has been saying "maybe" we'll get back together for almost the entire time, while still having a boyfriend. I have been unable to move ahead with my life as I still hold out hope for the marriage working and us getting back together. I date and I'm honest with the women I see, but only the "damaged" women stay around for a guy who can't move on from his Ex. Although she is now saying she'll tell me again in 4 weeks is she wants to try, I've decided to try to move ahead for good without the hope of working it out with her. Here's what I concluded, you may find the same in your situation. 1) My children are at least 50% made of my Ex wife, so I'll always has some of her in my life (maybe wierd but it works for me), 2) I may always love my Ex wife, but I'm going to find a way to live with that and find another women who I can love and I'll feel safe with. 3) After 2 years, if she was coming back for me, she would alreay be here. 4) She likes me in her life as a saftey net, that's not a relationship. 5) She selfish, doesn't care about my emotions or my pain and that is not a person I want to open my heart up to again. 6) I explained, I love you but I'm moving on, set boundaries and limits on physical visits and on topics on conversation and stick to them. 7) Let go on him as a future husband, he may want what you want, but he does not have the tools within him to follow through. Your a bird and he is a mouse that wants to fly. You can love the mouse for trying, but know the truth his situation.
2007-12-31 10:34:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on, and not let him back in again. You need to get some counseling for yourself. you will learn how to stand strong through working with a professional. You deserve better. Your husband is a jerk! Don't just LET him go, kick his sorry butt to the curb and empower yourself!
2007-12-31 10:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by SWEETYPI 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your desperation that's allowing you to fall for your ex's BS. You get lonely, feel sorry for yourself, convince yourself that you'll never have anyone to love, and then he comes sniffing around for booty and knows you'll give it to him, so he tells you what you want to hear, so he'll get what he wants.
Your ex then gets all jonesed up for you when you are interested in someone else but not yet involved, because he doesn't want to lose his sex buddy. Sex buddies don't hang around when the heavy emotional life stuff is going on because that kills their happy and they just want the sex.
Keep telling yourself that he is no good for you and stop taking his calls. If you aren't divorced from him yet, then get divorced so you can free yourself to find someone who is worthy of you.
Good Luck.
2007-12-31 10:15:34 · answer #8 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wants to keep you hanging on by giving you false hope. He only comes around when he thinks you might move on and pulls you back in. You allow it because you still love him but that is obviously one sided. Just for the sake of your kids don't keep letting him do this....it is not healthy for any of you. Show them you are not a doormat by not allowing your husband to keep doing this.
2007-12-31 10:10:16 · answer #9 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You keep falling for it because you don't want to admit your marriage is over. You want to have hope that someday it will all be ok. My advice is to file for divorce and move on. You deserve someone who will love you as much as you love them. That guy is out there, don't give up.
2007-12-31 10:05:17 · answer #10 · answered by sassypurplecat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋