Why do men expect women to cook them "family dinners"?

Question

Well, in 50-ies a man supported a family, and the women cooked, washed, cleaned and do on. Fair is fair.
Now they do NOT want to support their families, they say that women and men are "equal" (men have periods and pregnancies, too), and women go out, work, and contribute heavily to the family budget.
Why, a man is not even supposed to place as roof over his wife and children heads, because he is "equal"!
So, when these women come home from work, they find a husband watching TV, drinking beer and shouting for a "family dinner"!
Don't the dear ge-ges have HANDS to cook it for themselves and all their family since they do not even work that long? I mean, they came home first, and wait for a wife to arrive from work and serve them a dinner, and it's called "equal"?

Answer 1

i did this last nite and was left to do all the washing up after... didnt even get a helping hand and im heavily pregnant!!! grrr men

Answer 2

It's class and generation related. Young professionals don't have that mindset anymore, yet those of poorer backgrounds, and the entire band of 60+ that I've encountered, do. Reason? Feminism has only taken a serious discursive turn in the last 20-30 years, and these things are slow to progress. You should probably learn to cook though. Not to sound misogynistic, it's just a useful life skill and a lack of these skills paints you as lazy.

Answer 3

partnership is equal, unity is understanding and that is what you need to communicate to your husband if there is unity there will be no division

Answer 4

Because it's the way it was suppose to be. I love providing for my family. Especially when it's appreciated. I wouldn't expect my husband (if I was married) to cook and clean especially if I was a house wife. When I was married I did a lot of my husband. Even though he took me for granted but when I marry again I would do the same thing. To me it's God's way and that is how wives should be. But if I was disrespected I would have a problem with it. My first husband treating me like crap and it came to the point where I wouldn't even cook. It's a toughy sometimes. Talk to you husband and set him straight but in a kind way. It also depends on the couple. Everyone is different. Also not all men are that way either.

Answer 5

Yeah perfectly righto.But have you ever thought why in the first place have a WIFE at all ? You get your answer.

Answer 6

Whether you work or not, you have a husband at home; and if you call yourself a wife, there are certain things you should want to do for him. One of them is to prepare his meals. There may be times when you eat out, serve leftovers, or have pizza delivered; but for the most part, you'll want to cook at home. It's not about being equal; it's about caring for your man. And if you don't want to cook your man a decent meal, you're not in love, girlfriend.

Answer 7

because men are assholes

Answer 8

I would think in most cases women have more experience in the kitchen so they know there way around it better. I know a guy when he opens the fridge if the item doesn't fall on him that he wants he refuses to look for it. So I guess that's is why women do the cooking, at least we will look.

Answer 9

Men who "Expect" dinner, usually have bigger issues.
Everyone likes someone to cook for them, its nice. But no adult should "Expect" anyone to cook for them.
My X was this way, hince the one of many F'd up reasons he's an X.
I love cooking and don't mind doing it, so long as it isn't expected and isn't taken for granted.

Answer 10

Do men really want wives like June Cleaver?
In the ‘50s, the ideal wife stayed home, cleaned, cooked, and cared for the kids. Dr. Gail Saltz, a ‘Today’ contributor, says that may be a male fantasy
NBC VIDEO


Do men want to marry June Cleaver?
Sept. 28: "Today" co-host Meredith Vieira talks with Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist, and Dr. Drew Pinsky of the radio show, Loveline, about what men really want in a wife.
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TODAY
updated 11:45 a.m. ET, Thurs., Sept. 28, 2006
On “The Doctor Is In,” we look at what men want in a wife. Remember the couple from the ‘50s, when the husband came home from a tough day of work to find a clean house, a home-cooked meal and a doting wife? Well, is that what men still want? An article called “The Good Wife’s Guide,” which has been circulating around recently, sparked this debate. Thought to be from a 1955 publication called Housekeeping Monthly, it offered tips: “Let him talk first”; “remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours”; “catering for his comfort will provide you immense personal satisfaction,” and “don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night.” It turned out that the article was a fake, but it raised some real issues. Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and a ‘Today’ contributor, was invited on the show to help answer that question. Here’s her take on the June Cleaver wife:

With a divorce rate currently of 45 percent many men and women are wondering “How do I choose a partner that will go the distance?” Do men really want subservient “slave-women” who subverts all her personal needs in order to please his? Yes … and no.

Both men and women have fantasies of being taken care of, being nurtured, being babied and being number one. Historically, masculine and feminine roles contributed to the specifics of these fantasies: men imagined the perfect mate as a passive, docile catering nurturer and women envisioned a giving, sacrificing protector. But these are fantasies! And while it may be fun to imagine — or even play out — these roles at times, they are but one of many fantasies men and women may have about their ideal partners. If rigid roles are not a good predicator of relationships’ longevity, what is?

Marriages based on shared morals, values, life goals, and abilities to communicate well contribute to stable relationships. That’s because marriages require work, commitment and self-sacrifice from both partners. Marriage based first and foremost on passion, children, or extremely time-demanding careers, tend to break up.

The institution of marriage began as, and still works as, a vehicle to protect both partners financially, ensure their progeny’s health and well being, and provide companionship and intimacy. Once a couple understands marriage is a choice that requires effort through its ups and downs, then they have a shot at maintaining a healthy relationship. (Research shows that married people are healthier and have better psychological health than singles. In addition, children of married couples are healthier and have better psychological health.)

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Marriage is a partnership that requires both partners provide and receive gratification. Most men would say that being pampered occasionally is delightful, but that they don’t want to be only needed, but also needed. And most men would say that having all the pressure to be the sole provider and protector causes immense anxiety. They want — and need — a partner who will help shoulder some of the burden emotionally or even financially. And most women would find the 50’s housewife requirements utterly absurd and miserable. If one partner is utterly unhappy, the end of the marriage is inevitable.

The Housekeeping Monthly article represents an underlying issue in many marriages: Who has control? That’s why there are jokes about women who “wear the real pants” in the family and manipulate their sad sack husbands into making them do all kinds of things that they don’t want to do. So a man may fantasize about a June Cleaver-like wife, because he wants more control in their marriage — or even have the upper hand. Wanting more control occurs when one partner feels insecure and unsure of his, or hers, own worth and power. When both parties feel heard and sure of their own effectiveness, their fantasies of being taken care of diminish.

If you notice that your partner wants more control in your marriage, find out why. If your partner feels insecure, discuss way to make him, or her, feel more comfortable. Discuss what you think your roles are in your marriage. And find out if these roles need to be changed, so both of you are satisfied. Sit down and talk about these issues as members of the same team — not opposing teams. This is the only way to build strength and satisfaction in any relationship.

© 2007 MSNBC Interactive

Answer 11

Not in all cases, I know several families who split it, both cook, or 1 prepares and 1 cooks,I work and cook30%, wife doesn't work, but she does all the other housework.