My ex-boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me a few months ago. I was very crashed over it. I asked him not contact me in order to move on but he has always contacting me, saying he finds it hard, he misses and loves me. He even came to see me twice as he missed me too much. But he said we cannot get together as the long-distance situation hasn't changed. Last time he contacted me, he told me he wants us to work things out but then he backed off again saying it's still not the right time for us. I was hurt again so I asked for no contact even though I really love him and want to be with him. Its hard really. But he eamiled me a week ago saying he can't help his feelings but he misses me, thinks of me and doesn't want me to think he doesn't want me anymore.I replied but I got upset when he said he is going abroad with his friends to celebrate New Year. He said he will leave me alone now as he can't take blames from me. I am so hurt. I love him. I am 30 yrs. Now his phone is off.
2007-12-30 23:32:13 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just cannot understand that a week ago he told me he misses me, he thinks of me and he still wants me. He now switched off his mobile and is not replying? He told me last night we should both move on. But how could he change so fast? I know I got upset when he told me he is going to have fun with his friends but why did he switch it off?
2007-12-30 23:33:20 · update #1
Sounds like he has found someone else .
2007-12-30 23:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
honey, you sound like your emotion is very much dependent on him (which is normal for us as a woman). However, if we depend on our man too much emotionally, we get hurt EVERY time he said something negative. If he wanted to make us happy, he can do it; if he wanted to make us feel sad, he can do it too.
So, is it worth???? we need to learn to survive on our own (I'm not saying being independent all the time) but particularly in your case, your man is not very consistent in his mind, he probably has something that takes him back. We need to minimise his impact on us, sis.
He appears to be a bit undecisive, not sure why - probably because of the burden of recommitting in a relationship again? or the fear of making the wrong decision again? or the taking up of responsibility?? You said he can't take blame from you, perhaps he does not want to be taking the burden of rectifying the situation? in case it goes wrong again, he will be the guilty one.
a man not knowing what to do need a very strong woman with enormous patience to support him and walk him through. Leave him alone at the moment, let him think it through and join his friends. For you, find something to do, don't rely on every word he sent to survive, okay? man is not as sensitive as us, they never know that single word will trigger so much thoughts in our mind. Sometimes they didn't really mean what they said.
so, pull yourself together and develop yourself in diferent aspects, make yourself attractive and fresh, he will come back.
God bless and have a good year ahead.
2007-12-31 07:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by uno_yy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's playing mind games with you he sounds like a control freak tell him to kiss off
2007-12-31 03:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by vall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's doing something very simple to understand. He doing whatever is best for him whenever he feels like it. He needs you to hold him up at this time until he finds what he's lookiing for, maybe freedom, maybe another women, who knows. He may not even know. You were right to be upset for him going away for New Years, if he wanted to make it work he would have come to see you (but you already know that).I'm sure you learned alot about yourself and what you want out of life in the last 3 years with him, it was not wasted time. Take your knowledge of who you are and what you want in a relationship ahead with you into your new life. You could ask for a better day (Dec 31) to make this decision. You and your next boyfriend will be all the happier for it. Your old boyfriend is on a very bad path and has many years of failed relationships ahead.
2007-12-31 02:50:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex used to play head games, in fact, he still likes to try. I recently started a new relationship and he found out, he has been with his gf for about 14mths, but he decided to tell me that he still loved me and would leave his gf if I wanted to try again. I told him no, that I had moved on. But I couldn't stop thinking about him and ended my relationship cos I felt that on some level I was being unfaithful to the new guy. Out of curiosity I asked my ex what he would have done if I had said I loved him back, he did an about turn and said that he is happy with his gf! So I got my head messed with again, for nothing!
My advice to yo is to change your number, to never talk to this man and to remove him from your life or he will never stop messing with you. He might find someone else but if that breks up then he'll no doubt come trying it back on with you. Be strong
2007-12-31 02:28:46 · answer #5 · answered by keeley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess what? He trying to keep his options open and making it look like you are still interested in him. Do yourself a favor, change your number, block his e-mails and go out and do something foorrrrrr - YOU!
2007-12-31 01:54:24 · answer #6 · answered by CJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl do what you set out to do Move on. block his email address and stop calling him totally
2007-12-31 01:51:17 · answer #7 · answered by MissE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has moved on so should you
2007-12-31 01:24:34 · answer #8 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it! Months later you are still obsessing about this guy. You do know that you can block emails, block phone numbers and not answer his calls? Apparently you not wanting him to contact you wasn't a very strong desire.
You are 30. Grow up!
2007-12-31 00:38:59 · answer #9 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive answered another of these questions...please read and digest what ive said there. when you have done that go to your profile and look at the hundreds of questions you have asked about this loser and for how long you have been asking them. its tragic.
then have a good look at yourself and ask why you want this guy after the way he has been treating you.
2007-12-31 00:34:59 · answer #10 · answered by slsvenus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His behavior sounds cruel towards you.
Actions speak louder than words.
Take care of yourself and don't answer his calls
or even look at his e-mails.
2007-12-31 00:16:54 · answer #11 · answered by Bentley 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋