She is very conservative in her opinions and also very conservative in the bedroom. I just found out she has a VERY promiscuous past. I feel so deceived... She never claimed to be an angel, but her personality gave me that impression. Do I have a right to be angry about what happened in her past? Was I deceived about who I thought I was in a relationship with? Should I stay with her?
2007-12-30 23:18:05 · 22 answers · asked by Was i deceived about her past? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She never verbally lied to me, however her actions since we met all pointed to the Ultra conservative type. She is a sweet person, who's opinions point to her being a "Good Girl". And by the way...she was promiscuous up until 3 days b4 we met. It's NOT about her past..It's about wether or not I have been deceived. I feel I've been taken for a sucker.
2007-12-31 00:10:54 · update #1
Let me be clear...I feel cheated because she is not who she portrayed herself to be. For more details on what really happened see my other question called, "Is she cheating?"
2008-01-02 01:04:42 · update #2
If she did not lie to you then you should not be angry. People grow and change their past is not that important compared to who they are now. If it bothers you that much then discuss it with her. If you can not accept it then the best thing to do is move on.
2007-12-30 23:21:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude end being a punk PLEASE!..This female cheated on you and is with yet another guy to not metion she is taking you cash..are you loopy!..i be conscious of many women like this,she is a B*TCH end giving her all this ability..FCUK the three years you "have been" at the same time in case you by potential of a few miracle get her to return lower back to you this is going to consistently hang-out you that she cheated on you(in all probability extra cases than you be conscious of!) you do not deserve that discover some else..i be conscious of that concept seems loopy now yet they are alot of girls obtainable that deserve a solid guy like your self and he or she is not one among them!..Lock her off,have not something to do along with her every time she desires some thing she will attempt to sucker you into giving it to her even nevertheless she has NO objective of having lower back inclusive of you and maximum in all probability she's been spending your complicated earned money on her new guy.placed your efforts into finding a solid female,opposite to in many cases going on perception they are nevertheless lots of them obtainable.i be conscious of alot of those that went with the aid of what you're dealing with now and that they now have new solid women human beings(and warmer than their previous whore gf's too!)..do not enable that tramp section you my pal! you're extra suited than that..4GET touching directly to the previous and pass the fcuk on!..solid success!
2016-11-26 23:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that you have had an influence on this woman and she has changed, because of you. Her promiscuity could have a lot to do with what happened in her childhood. She may have been sexually abused, and sexually abused girls become notoriously promiscuous women, until something happens to change the way they see themselves. You may have changed her self image; and if that's true, she's probably very much in love with you and wants to be the woman you want her to be. Her conservative carriage exhibits this, as opposed to her being the person she was before you came along.
You don't have the right to be angry, because you didn't make her past an issue when you got into this relationship. You accepted her on face value and, apparently, you guys have been enjoying a meaningful, intimate relationship. The key words here are "I thought," and "her personality gave me that impression." It was your thinking and your impressions that deceived you. She never made any claims about herself--not that she was an angel, or that she had a sordid past. If she's done something wrong in the relationship, you are justified in leaving. But to decide not to stay with her, based on a past that has not effected you is cruel. Instead of being angry, let your relationship stand on its own.
If this woman has cheated on you, or otherwise tarnished the relationship, let her go. But if she's done nothing wrong, find the courage to leave her past behind and love her for the woman she is now. If you feel embarrassed to be with her, for fear of what others will say, you'll have to decide which means more to you: them or her.
2007-12-31 02:28:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This same thing happened to me with my boyfriend. I had known him for 2yrs before we went out and thought he was conservative because of his personality, then I find out what a whore he was. I found out he was paying prostitutes for sex even just the month before we started dating, and even after we were together he was still active with personals online. That totally pissed me off and I felt like I had been cheated on. I confronted him about it and told him I was very hurt and upset because he wasn't who I thought he was. He only got mad and said it was my problem that I was jealous of his past.
Maybe it's immature and overlyjealous (as he calls me) but I think you have a right to be pissed and feel betrayed. I felt the same way, deceived by his past. Whether you still want the relationship can only be answered by you. Are you willing to accept her past and do you love her enough to try to move past this.
I'm still with my boyfriend, but it's very hard. I don't feel appreciated or like the relationship even matters to him. I don't know why I'm still in it.
Best of luck with your decisions.
2007-12-31 01:44:32 · answer #4 · answered by muffineye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't ask her and she didn't tell you... just exactly HOW did you "find out"? It seems to me that you are taking someone's gossip for gospel. She would be well rid of you if you are so quick to call her "promiscuous". Even if she WERE promiscuous... which is doubtful... you are being judgmental and harsh. I really don't see you as a very desirable partner.
2007-12-31 00:39:14 · answer #5 · answered by Gina C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't ask... live with it now... she is still the same person you thought she was before knowing differently..
2007-12-30 23:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by prop4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You fault her because she has a past that she perhaps isn't proud about? Not because she'd lied about her past, but because she failed to talk about things? And now, she has probably revealed things to you, because she cares enough about you to think you will understand. So, for her trust of you, you feel betrayed? Your past is so unblemished, that you are feeling that she has somehow betrayed you? You've never done something that you aren't proud of? I don't feel that the term deceived is applicable. Now, IF she had claimed something that you later found to be a lie, then deceived would be correct. As for if you should stay with her, that's strictly up to you. But, I think you may well not deserve her. By your description, you have a woman that has grown, and became a better person. She may well perceive your changed attitude as evidence that you haven't grown up enough to deserve her. I'm not suggesting that a person could disregard everything a person had done, but a somewhat wild past is just that- the past. Adults worry more about the future. I think your girlfriend will be fine. But, unless you resolve your own feelings, I fear you will always find SOME reason to fault everybody. People are human, not saints up on pedestals
2007-12-30 23:45:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Kermit's answer. But, in addition, people do not spill things which have happened in the past to everyone. It's very personal. I'm bi-polar but, except for here, I don't go around telling people & I wouldn't dream of telling someone who is a casual date or acquaintance. I only tell people who are close to me. I don't see that as being misleading. By the time I tell someone, they have already decided for themselves whether or not my behavior is acceptable to them.
2007-12-30 23:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by Judith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she lied to you its deceiving.... past is past.... dont bring it into present and spoil your future.... forget it and love your angel more than ever... best of luck
2007-12-30 23:25:25 · answer #9 · answered by madhavi_2k2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ask her about her past? If not I don't think she deceived you. Do you want to stay with her? Is something else going to come up about her past to make you run? It's about today and who and what she is now. Forgive her, love her and give her a break. Isn't there something in your past that you are not happy about? Maybe she is conservative because that is who she wants to be today. Good luck.
2007-12-30 23:24:38 · answer #10 · answered by Rosa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋