i have a phobia which makes it very difficult for me to function properly in the company of strangers?

Question

i have a panic attack when i am with somebody new, at work, at the shops and even with my husband when he stresses me out.It takes the form of not concentrating on what people say, i go very red and sometimes say just anything till i start to feel better. I suppose to some people i could be percieved as stupid!!!!
I walked in on a coversation with my boss and a colleague at work, where she was saying i was brain dead and they both laughed, which has put me in a very deep depression, i can't tell my boss the truth about my condition as she makes it very obvious she doesn't like me, she shuts me out of conversations and my colleagues have followed suite. I know this sounds paraniod but this has been going on for 5 years now and i have never caught her saying anything before i just suspected it. I get very panicky around her so it has a snowball affect, hence more problems for myself, self full filling profecy, can you help me on how to cope in this situation as it just getting worse?

just to put you in the picture, i was working last night and this same person, my boss, had what i call a senior moment - forgot what day it was etc., nothing really but i was classed as brain dead for a similar thing, just goes to show " what comes round goes round - or whatever " i had a little chuckle to myself. lol.

Answer 1

you definetly should talk to your gp and get them to put you in touch with somebody who will help you to overcome this. do not let this situation dominate your life. get help now. make it your goal for 2008 and good luck to you.
x

Answer 2

I'm sorry you are going through this. Not sure I can give any helpful advice, but I have a similar problem but it isn't as acute as what you describe (I've only had two panic attacks to date).

Your first 'port of call' should be with your GP, as someone else mentioned. I didn't do this, mainly because my own GP prescribes pills for everything and I'm not keen on the idea of being dependant on pills to get me through the day!

The only thing I can advise (from having experienced it myself), is looking further afield into other therapies. I had 3 sessions of NLP (neuro linguistic programming), and have to say it helped me a LOT! The therapist I saw used hypnotherapy along side NLP, which involves tapping on certain acupressure points on the hands and face when your feeling anxious, basically it distracts your brain from the situation at hand and calms you down so you can function.
Not sure I can explain it particularly well, so I'll stop there!
I suppose it depends on what kind of help would suit YOU best, some people would rather talk things through with someone who is unbiased so a psychotherapist/psychologist might be better.
Hope this is of some help!
I really hope you find something that helps you, because I think you need some sort of 'guidance' from someone rather than 'going it alone'.
Best wishes! : )

http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp-what.htm
http://www.cleanlanguage.co.uk/AtoZ.html
http://www.wingsofeagles.co.uk/what_is_nlp.htm

Answer 3

Most likely you have anxiety disorders. Or just a long list of phobias (strangers, intimidating people, large groups, etc.) And anxiety disorders are easy to handle. For some people. If i may, I suggest talking to a Dr. If they think there is a problem a few simple tests are done (questions mostly) and depending on the diagnosis, medication is given. i have sevre anxiety disorders and ive been on meds for it. But i think that if youre a strong enough willed person, self medication is the best way to cure this. And by self medication i mean, healthier diets, exercise, regular sleep patterns, and writing/reading/drawing.

Answer 4

Dont let it bother you too much, there are many people like this. Obviously, your boss doesnt like you too much, id recommend dont go out of your way to try to please them or make up for it, because it probably wont have the desired effect.

Its probably a social confidence issue.. [possibly relating to your school days] or possibly mild Asperger's syndrome.

If its confidence, then its naive to suggest: dont let it bother you; cause it obviously does. Confidence is based mostly on self belief and self trust.. Something which a school teacher or boss can erode quickly in front of a crowd. Essentially if you believe in an idea or philosophy and can portray that successfully to a group of people that will help boost your confidence.

If you are generally a submissive person, you should practice being dominant with your boyfriend [with his knowledge], I imagine that could help quite a lot.

If you have mild Aspergers [only you can answer that], there is no cause for alarm, as some people are actually quite proud of it.

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/aspergers-syndrome-symptoms

If you think you have it you may consult your gp, as they can offer valuable advice.

If all else fails, find a new boss and a fresh start. Remember, success also has a snowball effect..

Good luck!

Answer 5

I have this problem, Social Anxiety/Social Phobia. I have the same suspicions with every boss I've ever had. Being around new people is bad enough but people in authority make me so much worse. I've managed to improve my symptoms using medication to begin with using methods from a self-help book.
Try the following links for further information: -
www.socialphobia.org/
www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/socialanxiety1.shtml

Answer 6

I think you should seek treatment for this. lso you can look at www.anxietycoach.com for more tips on how to manage this problem.

Answer 7

Hi
Traits of social anxiety, you need to take deliberate action the best thing one can do is slowly gain control over themselves. These steps should help. First take a deep breath to your lower stomach for 4 seconds max hold for 2-4 seconds and let it out of your nose, this will do wonders because your attention is diverted and it stills the mind by concentrating on your breathing (take 5-10 breaths, you will notice the differance). Second as soon as you get a reaction like a panic about people talking about you or something like that, fight it, do this. Think what is the worst that could happen ie, i was in this situation last time and survived why not this time. This is affermative self talk think of the worst case scenario and it will ease your mind knowing that can never happen. lastly Positive visualization, before you go into a situation think for 5-10 seconds in intense detail (ie the brightness of the light to the feeling of your clothes) be specific of how you would handle it in the most positive manner possible. Take these 3 steps success is guaranteed. If more help is needed just ask

Answer 8

awww i can get the same, i have trouble breathing on packed trains n around new people, i dont really know wat to say but stay calm, kik ur bosses @ss!

Answer 9

i have the same problem,but i think its because i know people do,t think like me and do,t care if they hurt any body,i do,t know how you can deal with this i think it just our instincts telling we we can not trust these people