Should I forgive and forget my spouse criticizing and humiliating me to his ex wife?

Question

My spouse and i had a very nasty fight which involved his children. I admit I have not been accomodating when he wants to see his children and the reason is because he's never treated my children who lives with us nicely or love them as his yet expects me to love his children. The argument got out of hand where he called his children and told them that I'm the cause for not letting them come visit. Worse than that he called his ex wife, bad mouth me criticized me and told her awful stuff right in front of me. One of the crasiest lies he told her is that if I didn't have a child with him I will divorce him. Is this normal behavior and valid reason to leave him? Can this be fixed? I'm so humiliated, betrayed and angry. He told her that I accuse him of still being in love with her. Can someone still professes to love you and do something as dehumanizing as this? He does professes to love me but is capable of doing this. I need your opinion and help. Thanks!

Answer 1

You both should be ashamed of yourselves. I was brought up in a house with a stepmother who was awful. I am an advocate for children of stepparents. You should still respect his children even though he is acting like a dumb ***. You don't have to put yourself down to his level. These kids were not asked to be brought into this crappy situation. This can be fixed but you both must except and love each other's kids. Sit down as a family and make changes together. If this is not possible, divorce. Never take it out on the kids.

Answer 2

The 2 of you had problems in your marriage before this happened.
You and him have to learn how to handle your problems without it leaving the walls of your home.
You don't share marital problems with small children. That was completely out of order.
The things that he said to his ex-wife, were from his heart.
You need to sit down with him and talk to him about what he said.
If he avoids the issue, then realize that you are married to a man that reveals his heart only when he is mad, and it will reveal his heart to other people, and not to you. Because that is EXACTLY what he did. He called his EX and told HER what he should have been telling YOU.
Why is that?
Why does he feel more comfortable pouring out his feelings to others, and not you???
There's a reason for that.
You need to find out why.
AND, never let arguments that are in your house leave your house.

Answer 3

your husband has a serious problem with showing you respect . He has now belittled you and humiliated you in front of his ex wife and their children. That was totally wrong and out of line toward you and any problems that the two of you were having should have been kept between only the both of you. It was wrong of him to include his first family into his personal relationship with you. All he did was hurt his children and now make them feel uncomfortable around you! I would be mad as hell at him and I would probably tell him to stick himself where the sun don't shine. To me that would be way over the line and unacceptable once he included the ex wife and treated me like he was not quilty of creating the issues he had with me over all of them. I am sure your husband has caused some pretty bad issues with you over his own failed past and wants you to be the bad guy and take all the blame for the lives he screwed up long before he felt he selfishly deserved to move on in his own life with you. He sounds very mean and hurtfull and it is not your fault that your husband has a problem with treating others with respect and doesn't care if he hurts his own children and bashes you in the ground to save his own face ...which personally to me sounds like he needs help with seeing a therapist to control his anger issues and quit blaming you for his own failures. Sorry he hurt you ...but I would call his ex and probably tell her that her ex husband is half crazy and deny everything he stated to her and the children!

Answer 4

Oh heck no! I would not put up with this talk. It's one thing to say things to your face but to go behind your back to his EX???No, it's not something that can be fixed and if he truly loved you he wouldn't of done such a thing to you. I would definitely leave him and move on with your life. It's either that or stay and let him continue this behavior toward you since he got a way with it the first time he will continue.

Answer 5

I think the honeymoon is over now its reality. You can speak to him and tell himhow you feel or walk with anger all day, If he is not prepared to change I see no future for you. Good luck.

Answer 6

QUESTION?
ANSWER?
I THINK YOU HAVE A SELF ANALYTICAL EVALUATION, DONE BY YOU ALREADY, ABOUT THIS SITUATION.
GO WITH YOUR OWN GUT INSTINCTS. OPEN YOUR HEART TO THE MATTER YOU PROFESS TO.
IT IS YOUR LIFE, YOUR LIVES?
GOOD LUCK.

Answer 7

Wow! I say trust your instincts, which are telling you that this is NOT normal or right, and that your husband is acting very strangely.

How old are your kids? I'm sorry that he isn't kind to your children - did you not realize that he was this way when you decided to marry him?

Answer 8

Oh girl, what a two faced pig. I have seen men like this. But they usually do it behind your back. If he is doing all of this, he probably do have some feeling for his ex. The reason he doesn't show love to the kids in the house is because that is not where he really wants to be. You can TRY to fix it, but I would be heading out the door.

Answer 9

No one here has any authority to answer your question. Go and seek some help with a marriage counselor. If your husband won't go, go by yourself. It sounds like you have major issues with your spouse and the solution isn't going to be as simple as asking a question here on Yahoo Answers.