I know I've asked a question about this before. But anyway, I have a friend who is almost 17 and she's going out with a 19 year old. He's very very protective, to a point where he tells her who she can and can't be friends with and the hours she's allowed to work her part time job.
I found out tonight that earlier this year he got a 16 year pregnant while he was dating my friend. He is still cheating on her and he tells her that he loves his ex girlfriends and he even wanted to move in with one of them next year.
Everyone talks about her behind her back, and being a friend I didn't want to do this, so I was honest with her and I told her what people had been saying and how she deserves so much better. I was a bit harsh, I suppose but I think she needed to hear it.
She ditched our plans for NYE that we'd had for 2 weeks, so she can go to a party with her boyfriend at his ex girlfriend's flat.
I just don't know what to do or say anymore. She wont talk to me either. I need some help
2007-12-30 19:36:32 · 17 answers · asked by ★☆✿❀ 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Wabby, you were wise to tell her about this; even though it is hard for her to accept, she needs to hear it from someone who cares enough to tell her the truth instead of talking behind her back. Hopefully in time she will realize this, and appreciate what a good friend she has. You mentioned her boyfriend being protective, but what you described is controlling. He is showing the early signs of an abusive personality, and the longer his behavior is allowed to continue, the worse it will get.
I know it's hard, but the best thing you can do is stand by your convictions. If you feel that there is a problem in her relationship, then there undoubtedly is. I am sure that if her relationship was a happy and healthy one, you would be happy for her, and someday she will realize that you are a good friend, and are only looking out for her. Once she is able to admit that, she will need a good, nonjudgmental friend like you to talk to. Sometimes the best thing you can do as a friend is be there for her.
2007-12-31 01:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's in denial...soon she'll realize that she deserves better than some scumbag who doesn't even care about her well-being.
2007-12-31 04:28:23 · answer #2 · answered by clueful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been trying to save people from themselves for ages, and it never works. Lately either they reply with "Blah blah blah" or they just stop talking to me completely.
All you can do is say what you have to say once, and try not to say "I told you so" when it blows up in their face.
It's hard to accept that about someone you care for. But that's just the way of it. Lord knows if I could spare people from pain I see coming at them, I would.
You set her straight, she ditched you. All you can do now is wait for the inevitable train wreck, and maybe help her get back on her feet afterwards.
2007-12-31 00:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her time, force will only ruin your relationship. Her "Boyfriend" is a total jerk! Hopefully she will see through him. Right now, maybe the fact that she can say that she has a boyfriend makes her feel loved. Well I dunno.
Good Luck
: P
2007-12-30 21:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be there when she needs it...
This guy isnt going to be in the picture forever, but you can.
I can see you care alot about your friend, alot of people would have turned there backs on her by now because of the way she is treating them...
2007-12-30 20:23:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
simply put, if she likes being treated like trash maybe she is
2007-12-30 19:56:02 · answer #6 · answered by john d 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow - this bloke has really got something over your girlfriend. She needs to face facts and FAST that this relationship is going nowhere!
You were a good honest mate and told her the facts, she now needs to grow up and figure out rights and wrongs herself. It sounds like she is very co-dependent on him and he knows it, that is why he can do whatever by treated her like crap and cheating on her....
She will come round but for now you really can't help her much more, she's made her decision (for now), She'll 'wake up' and regret she even knew this looser and apologise to you as you were right to begin with.....
I hope you find someone else to go out with tonight for New Years!
2007-12-30 19:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by • Koala • uʍop ɹǝpun 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've learned with age, that some girls/women like this lifestyle and like to be treated badly. You want to be a good friend and help her 'see the light'... but they don't care. It's very sad. You can tell them how they deserve better, but sadly, they don't want it.
You're being a good friend by letting her know. Unfortunately, that is all you can do right now. Very frustrating, I know!
2007-12-30 19:46:25 · answer #8 · answered by Zari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG... your friend should run! Can you say trashy Jerry Springer canidate? Please for the human aspect, tell your friend not to enter the animal world; animals do not have the ability to REASON. As humans we have two advantages to that of most animals: a thumb and the ability to REASON.
The situation you posed means badness; run. Hope this helps.
2007-12-30 19:45:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give her time, she's just not ready to admit you are right
2007-12-30 19:43:25 · answer #10 · answered by Chelsea [♥] Dawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋