Thinking about a divorce, should I or should I not?

Question

Me and my husband have problems. We argue about everything. I know thats not health for a marriage. We only been married a year and a half. We had problems before marriage but try to work them out but seems like the same problems are continuing. He has a problem with trust. I've never cheated. We complain about everything and anything. Is this love or what? Im really stressed about it. We have also talked to the pastor about our problems, it work for a while then it goes back to the same thing all over again. He wasn't like this before we got married. What should I do? Should I stay or should I leave?(We dont have any kids)

Answer 1

I just got out of a 2 1/2 year marriage from a guy who basically sounds like ur husband and I sounded like u. We tried everything...sometimes its better to part ways then live in an unhappy marriage. I know right now you feel u wont be able to live if u leave him, or what will ppl think, or what will happen to ur life????? Trust me u will be fine..happier..wiser..and he'll be fine also. Sometimes we fall in love for all the wrong reasons...no kids great even better....y bring a poor child into ur mess....children dont fix problems...they make them more if uaren't getting along already..be strong seperate and see how things go...and if by any chance u get back and still there is problems please do ur self a favor and BE HAPPY AND MOVE ON

Answer 2

If you don't have trust in any relationship, much less a marriage, it's just not going to work out.
I don't think that you should leave if you love him.
I agree that you should go to a counselor. Give it your best shot, try to make him understand that you love him and that you want to work things out. Every marriage has their problems, but at the same time, you can't live your life wondering what it's going to be like when you get home.
Don't have kids!!!!!!!!!!! At least until and unless you are comfortable in you marriage.
You haven't been married that long and things could work out just fine.
You are the one hat has to look at the situation, live with the situation and work at if for a while. Actually, marriage is hard work. But, if it's really out of hand and things can't be changed...and only then; remember that you only have one life to live.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Diane

Answer 3

Divorce is the easy way out. Yours to choose if that's best for you and your husband. It all depends on how you view marriage. Some people treat marriage as something that you can just get in and out of at a whim.

Me and my wife have been married for 17 1/2 years. We come from two different cultures (she's asian and I'm white). We have SO many differences, but we are committed to the marriage and work at it. There's been times in the past that each of us have considered splitting. We even went to a marriage counselor for awhile too. That really helped us a lot!
Ultimately you have to ask yourself if you feel that your life would be better without him. If the answer is no, you really need to sit down with him and discuss what you're both willing to do to make it work. It really has to be 100% commitment from both parties or it just won't work.

I wish you lots of luck!

Answer 4

I was married for 28 years to a man like that. What I found out after I divorced him was that he was the one cheating. I just decided that I was not happy in the marriage and did not have to take his accusing and his verbal abuse.
I am now married to a wonderful man who is my best friend, lover and confidant. 6 months as of yesterday and I am so very glad we found each other.
All the years I waisted thinking things could change. He refused to think there was something wrong. And it was always my fault never his.
I can not tell you to leave him or not ...only you can make that decision.
What you need to ask yourself is this:
Can things change so we can be happy?
Do you really want to stay in the marriage?
Would you be happier without him ?
Its no fun arguing and its also not good for either of you.
Think about if you had a child? The relationship you have now would not be good for any child.

Answer 5

I do not mean to sound so cold but if there are no kids, or even if there are kids, leave.

You made a mistake. Forgive yourself and move on. You do not have to beat yourself over and over just because you said "I do" believing things would be better.

Look, how close do you follow the word? The word is the Bible and God's law's. Are you a true follower? If you are not a holy roller then why are you stuck on the whole I took the vowels crap. Mistakes happen in all aspects of life. And saying " I do" does not mean you can not turn back. GEESH>

Answer 6

Not really necessary unless if one partner is unfaithful. Remember you've made your bed, lie on it. Not a single marriage life is without problems - we all have problems but we should communicate. Communicate is sitting down and talking it over - NOT YELLING nor NAME CALLING. Sit calmly and try to discuss with your partner your likes and dislikes. Come to a conclusion. When things are working out well, talk it over lovingly. Try to have quality time - what I mean is putting aside one day say Friday to discuss and having time together (like cuddling on a sofa together - don't answer any phone calls) this should be a time for you and your spouse alone and no one else is to intrude on this day - get the drift!! Things will work out and believe me, the sun is still shining...have a happy new year!!

Answer 7

Both of you seem to have an "immature" way of resolving conflict and disagreements. Mutual respect, commitment and sacrifice are mere words to the unassuming (no church or pastor can teach this) ...

I'd say, you and "hubby" have to begin to develop into "maturity" and leave the childish behaviors for "children --- it's really a good thing you don't have any. This is precisely the reason why so many marriages are headed for divorce.

Good luck.

Answer 8

You said your relationship was turbulent before marriage, then you said it wasn't... which is it?

If you and your husband talked to a pastor one time, well, that doesn't help.. you really need to find a consistent program (marriage counseling) and stick with it and learn to communicate... and also figure out what each of your issues are in the marriage. this doesn't happen overnight or by talking with a pastor one time.

so the choice is yours -- do you think it's worth working on before you throw in the towel, or are you finished?

take care.

Answer 9

Men who don't trust their wives are generally not trustworthy. Or maybe he had a bad experience with an ex gf who cheated onhim. First try counciling, if he won;t go, file for divorce.

Answer 10

Kids or no kids, get out now. The sooner the better and easier because you haven't aquired enough assets for there to be a huge arguement over. Get free and have fun searching for a better man.