What would you do?

Question

I have been feeling very guilty about having my son circumcised... I am 39 weeks tomorrow and it was my husband's decision. Should I respect my husband's decision or should I try to talk him out of it? After all, he has a penis and I don't. I just feel so guilty about putting my son through the pain, because it isn't medically necessary (but maybe it isn't as traumatic as I think). What would you do?

It might sound stupid, but I feel that it might be more traumatic for me than my son...

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with leaving your son the way he was created or evolved. I haven't had a single problem with my foreskin in my 34 years. I have having a son in 7 weeks and he will not be touched. Not a single uncle, cousin or anyone else do I know that had to be circumcised. My mother is from the UK and so I have a large amount of relatives that were left intact.

80-85% of the men in the world still have their foreskin. Not a single medical association endorses circumcision.

I am rather happy having my foreskin. I would pitch this to your husband:

I would rather be the father of a boy that is unhappy to be intact than the father of a child that hates being circumcised.

Circumcision rates are dropping in the US. In the future there will be more men that will be unhappy they were circumcised.

An MSNBC Poll on Circumcision:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19296194/

43% For circumcision
57% Against Circumcision.


As for pain, it appears that babies nervouse system is hyper-sensitive. There have been a few studies that show they go in to shock from the pain, so that is why so many mothers say their little johnny didn't cry.

You should think about the origin of circumcsion. It is based in religion and in the US prevention of masterbation. In both cases the purpose of circumcision was to inflict the maximum amount of damage to the penis while retaining the ability to procreate.

Answer 2

Of course you should try and talk him out of it. Protect your son! If you let them go ahead with this, chances are you will regret it later. Your son will be left without his foreskin and be unable to do anything about it.

It is NOT your husband's decision if your son should be circumcised or not. Yes, your husband has a penis, but are we talking about his penis or your son's penis? It's your son's penis. And your son should have the final say on what happens to it. Removing a bit that will never come back, for no reason? (No, it is not cleaner or anything like some people say. Yes, of course it hurts the baby. Incredibly.)

Another thing - if your husband is circumcised - yes he has a penis but he has never had an intact penis - so what does he know about intact penises? You're the only one with a prepuce.

If you don't consent, they can't circumcise him.

Remember: Circumcision can be undone at any time but can not be undone!

Look after your son. You're his mother. You should be protecting him from unnecessary genital modification surgery done to make your husband feel better about his own surgery.

Answer 3

This is a very personal decision, and there is no right answer. But, I can offer you my opinion. My son is now 5. We had him circumcised, and I am happy with that decision. What if we hadn't and down the road he wanted to.....that would be traumatic! Not to mention he would look different than most boys his age, and also cleanliness is easier. Really, the doctor assured me the pain is minimal, they use a local anesthetic and give them Tylenol, and they don't have a memory of it-I don't care what some weirdos say. But really, this is a decision you and your husband should come to together.

Answer 4

I'm obviously a guy but if my wife had the same feelings then I would try to talk her out of it. I'm not circumsized and have never had any problems down there with hygiene etc and there are many reasons NOT to circumsize.
Perhaps sit down and ask your husband his reasons for wanting your son circumsized. If the only reason he can come up with "I want his penis to look like dad's" then you can rubbish that one by pointing out that your newborn son isn't going to have a 5 inch penis and pubic hairs all over it!
The surgery is painful, and the recovery period long, and doing it at birth removes your son's right to choose to a later age. If you leave his penis intact, when he's older if he WANTS to be circumsized then he can choose to.

Answer 5

I understand why you would feel this way because you want to keep your son away from harm, and feel like your causing it in a way. But keep in mind that many many many baby boy's are circumsized everyday..... and they are not traumatized by this later in life, if anything i have found that some men that were never circumsized had more issues because of the way it looks, or other problems. Ultimately it's a decision you and your husband need to make, but i do feel it is just as important you take his input along w/ your own, after all he has had this done when he was a baby. if he finds it necessary then it couldn't be that bad right?

Answer 6

You're right, it is more traumatic for you than your son. They use pain killers now, and he wont even remember it. In fact I didn't know what circumcision was or that I was circumcised until I was in high school. Is your husband bitter about being circumcised? Of course not. Your son probably wont be either.

Answer 7

This is a personal choice for each family. I won't say it isn't painful. I won't say it is or isn't medically needed. Everyone has their own opinions on it. I do believe though that you and your husband need to be in agreement. But if you don't care either way and you are only hesitant because of the pain then let your husband who feels strongly lead the way.

What you need to do is talk to you pediatrician who will do the surgery and ask them what numbing agents they use prior to the circumcision being done and what pain relief they get after.

For my 2 sons they cried for a min in the beginning when they got the shot for the numbing agent, but not for the surgery.

I do believe it will be more tramatic for you then it will be for your son. He won't remember it and hate you when he grows up. Heck he probably won't remember it the next week lol.

Answer 8

It's such a tough call. My husband and I haven't even discussed this, but we will have to. I'm not sure what we would do.

Have you discussed it with your husband, or did you just let him make the decision? If you haven't talked about it at all, you should do it now. You seem like you are feeling very strongly about it, and your husband should know how you're feeling!

Answer 9

Infections and the like are overblown by those who circumcise their children because they have to legitimize and believe what they put their sons through was really for the best.

The fact is, the vast majority of men who are uncircumcised suffer from few, if any infections or problems. 80 percent of the world's men are not cut and they're fine. HIV is rampant in many countries in Africa where they circumcise and the studies are dubious to begin with.

Facts there are several complications that some babies suffer as a result of circumcision:

-Meatal stenosis
-Penile adhesions
-Buried penis
-Urine retention
-Skin bridges
-Bleeding
-Infection

Circumcision is medically unnecessary and if I were you, I would take a close and thorough look at the issue and not defer to your husband. It's not his decision because he has a penis. It should be your son's decision because it's your SON'S penis.

Answer 10

Both of sons were circumcised and they are happy about it. They're adults now but said they were glad that I made that decision♥