What do you think of my college essay? What are my chances of getting into UPenn?

Question

Describe the courses of study and the unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make you a good match for Penn?


When I began my college search, I wanted to make sure that I remained detached from the schools I was researching. This would allow me to make objective decisions about where to apply; and, I hoped, ensure the best possible college experience. Now, as I near the end of the application process, I find myself attached to one school: the University of Pennsylvania, at a much deeper level then I would have originally hoped. The reasons for this attachment are many, and are a testament to Penn’s (and in particular Wharton’s) innovative and unique methods.
The first aspect of Wharton that caught my eye was its phenomenal faculty. I have read several books by professors at Wharton and was struck by not only their business acumen, but also the great depth of their thinking and elegant style. By being around this incredible staff, I hope to absorb some of their finesse and manner as well as their knowledge.
While I believe the professors at Wharton, and Penn in general, are the best in the country, it is not impossible to find other universities with comparable staffs. This is why the curriculum at Wharton is perhaps what most defines the program. As a Wharton undergraduate, I will be able to begin taking business classes freshman year. This intertwining of business and liberal arts classes, combined with the great range and flexibility of offered courses, set Wharton apart.
Another feature of Penn that greatly appeals to me is the Jerome Fisher program in management and technology. In addition to business, I have always been interested in computer engineering. The Jerome Fisher program will allow me to not only earn degrees in both areas, but will help me to connect the two fields in an intimate way.
Besides the more tangible reasons for my interest in Penn, there is something about the University that is hard to describe. While I was not able to visit the campus, I picked up a sense of community and purpose from comments made by students and the pictures shown on the website. I believe that I can add to this community in many ways, and ask that the reader(s) consider my application carefully.



SAT score: 2210
GPA: 4.0
took hardest courseload available at high school, recs should be great

ACT: 34

I put off this essay way too long and wrote it in one night. Concise advice is helpful (not enough time to do full scale editing). This is the school I really want to go to.

Answer 1

Wharton is the top undergraduate business program in the country, and they only take 50 students/year. You have to be phenomenal all around to get admitted there, and this essay doesn't say enough to get you past that barrier. Two out of three of your paragraphs seem to be more a matter of praising them for how wonderful they are than a response to the prompt. The final paragraph talks a little about your interests, which is really important if you want to respond to their question about what makes you a fit for the program.
I would tell more of a story about what your goals are in the business world and how (as specifically as possible) the program at Wharton can get you there better than can anyone else.

Answer 2

By that I presume you mean schools like Ivy's, MIT, Cal-tech, Stanford etc. Each of those schools has an admission rate of about 5-15%. They reject tons of applicants like you, so even though you are doing well you are no shoe in at such schools. I would put your odds at about twice the average rate - say at about 20-30%. By applying to a few your odds will go up. I would say if you apply to about 10 such schools you are a 80-90% chance getting into at least one - but are not a dead set cert. You need some backups. Specifically at Upenn I would give you about a 20-30% chance as an early admission. However Upenn is not the school I would suggest for you - I would look into Cal-tech, Harvey Mudd, or Rose Hullman as your early admission choice. Cal-tech actually ties with Upenn as far as rankings are concerned, and is better known for math and science, plus has a higher admission rate. Harvey Mudd and Rose Hullman are not as well known. However Harvey Mudd actually produces more students that do postgraduate study and Rose Hullman is often the second choice for those who can't get into MIT. In fact Rose Hullman has an agreement with MIT where they make offers to the better students that do not get admitted to MIT. Thanks Bill

Answer 3

The Jerome Fisher section is good, but you could just swap in another school's name for the rest and it would still sound applicable. If you haven't already submitted this, I'd try to bring the same level of specificity to the professors whose works you've admired and the impression you got from current students.

Answer 4

I don't think you're essay is phenomenal, BUT I do think you'll get in. You're writing is a little stilted, and the words don't flow, but you convincingly answer the prompt with solid points of interest. It helps that you want to pursue a business degree and not English or journalism. Between your grades and seemingly genuine interest in the programs, I think you'll be a contender. Best of luck!

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Just to add, U Penn is not financially blind, so if you can't afford it they may not accept you. Just thought you should know.