Why do men prefer to cheat than leave their wife!?

Question

If a man is fed up and unhappy in his marriage why does he stay with his wife and then just go out and cheat?

Most cheating is caught so he knows he is running a huge risk so why do they do it?

What do you think would be the biggest reason a man might actually make the move and leave his wife? love another? completely fed up? finding out she cheated on him? something else?

Answer 1

because the wife usually stops putting out after marriage..

Answer 2

There are probably as many reasons that men cheat as there are men that cheat. Some probably cheat because they aren't in a good relationship and it really isn't going anywhere, while some just cheat for the chase and have no intention to leave the wife. Some men are sorry for cheating and regret the hurt they cause both women while others find reasons that it isn't their fault. The honorable thing of coarse to do is end one relationship before starting another, but some people don't have the strength to end a relationship without having a backup relationship to lean on. I think with anyone ending a long term relationship the thing that gives them the courage to end it is the realization that both parties will be happier and/or better off outside of the relationship. Sometimes a miserable relationship is more bareable than a miserable loneliness.

Answer 3

Perhaps he wants his marriage to work and is waiting for that time when his wife will mature enough that the world doesn't revolve around her. Perhaps he misses the great sex of days past and hopes that one day his wife will hit her prime and ask for sex rather than deny it until such time she does give it up and just lays there like a rubber doll. Perhaps he holds dear the concept of lifetime marriages and two parents for raising his child that are both the childs biological parents. Perhaps he is working with his mistress to help sort out her personal life as she helps him with his.

Perhaps he is not concerned with getting caught thinking that any outcome will put an end to his misery. Either she will fight for her man and become the wife she was or should be or, she will let him go and he will be free to move on to a better life albeit without his child.

The biggest reason that might actually make the man leave his wife would be infidelity if he offered her everything including all the sex and love she could handle and it still wasn't what she wanted. A man can love another but still love his wife and want that marriage of his dreams with his wife. Being fed up depends on the man's tolerance level or determination for change. Some men are very patient but require the comfort of another to help him through these trying times.

If I were to cheat, my mistress would have to understand all of these things and know up front that we would never be more than best friends helping each other in difficult times. I'm not saying it would be easy. Marriage is not easy. Not sharing the bonding and subsequent chemical/hormonal releases that enhances that bond makes it even more difficult. One must understand the physiological events that occur during an orgasm and a woman's body to really grasp the importance of a woman to make love to her man regularly.

Answer 4

Believe it or not, most cheating is not because someone is unhappy enough to leave their wife or husband. Most cheating is to fill a void in their lives with respect to attention, romance, the thrill of someone new, being sexually incompatable with their spouse, or just being ignored by their spouse. It is too expensive, especially for the husband, to get a divorce even though the adultery usually gets found out and ends in divorce. A lot of the times, the cheating turns out to be a wake up call to the spouse because of lack of communication. The spouse has no real clue there is a problem or the problem is that bad. Then there is an attempt of reconciliation. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. The division of assets costs men so much it is less expensive to cheat with lawyer's costs, supporting two households, child support, spousal support and most of the time the family is living paycheck to paycheck without having all of this added expense. Some people figure that I will do this until I get caught then I will get a divorce.

Answer 5

Honestly,
Most of the time the men have absolutly zero intention of leaving their wives and families. The cheating is usually not about "being in love" or "being happy" or finding someone better....the grass is never greener on the otherside~ we all know that.

Cheating is more often than not purley about the sex...when referring to men anyway (woman cheat too...but they are the ones usually seeking emotional satisfactions like love and all that..infact its usually also the woman that cheat that are more apt to leave their husbands - sometimes there kids too just to run off with a "lover")

Ofcourse there are exceptions to every rule, but statisitcally speaking this is usually the way it is. Now as for WHY men can be such dirty dogs and appear to have little to no impulse control when it comes to sex...err 'variety' sex I have no idea. What I do know is these men should not be geting married or 'excluslivly' involved with another. I mean whats the point if they don't take the COMMITMENT of being monogomous (which is the point really...the whole special thing about a realtionship between TWO people) seriously or respect it with pride?

It's true that remaining faithful isn't necesarrily "natural" or easy to do by any means, and I think that thats what makes it so special...and ofcourse SO very hurtful when the promise is disregarded for some ultimatly empty and meaningless "feel good" and ultimitaly thats what its usually only about....meaningless and impulsive "variety" sex. Thats why the men rarely want to leave there wives....they love them, they love there homes, social status, there wife's love for them, their children...their being as a family. Men will usually only give all these things up when they are TRULY unhappy which I can't stress enough would be caused by WAY more difficulty than just not enough sex 'cause hey....they can get that just about anywhere really.

So in answer to your question I thing a cheating man would have to be completely absolutly fed up with his family life...the whole shabang before he'd give it all up for good- which rarely happens....since as it usually goes he is usually the one begging his wife to take him back after she has booted his cheating butt out!! :) I'd say the man would have to truly be very unhappy to leave...then ofcourse he just would. He wouldn't continue having an affair fr weeks months, or longer (those are the men that don't want to leave there wives) The truly unhappy man will simply leave and disolve the marriage... with no regret or begging for another chance

:P

Answer 6

Because it's scary to leave your wife...your home...your life. It's really hard to do. Even if you aren't happy, I think MOST people end up staying because they are too scared to do anything else. It's like leaving and staying are both choices that many feel will make them unhappy, so they pick the thing that makes them the least unhappy...staying in an unhappy marriage. People are very afraid of being alone and instead of taking the chance of finding true love or something, they stay in something that is safe, comfortable and secure, even if it doesn't fulfill them.

Men and women cheat because of this. Someone else is exciting and fun and full of promise. It speaks to the person's boredom and lack of a relationship that fulfills them. Cheating is usually never about the spouse, but about a overall spiritual ennui and the human desire for passion and true connection. However, choosing to let go of the net and take the leap to see if you can find that person that makes you complete is too scary to most, so they stay in unfulfilling marriages and cheat on their spouses. That's how I see it at least.

Answer 7

Seriously men and woman do this because they know it will be cheaper to cheat and get caught and apologize then go through a nasty divorce. Really if a couple is going to divorce it usually one-sided or mutual. If it is one-sided you always have the problem that one person wants out but the other person wants to fight for the marriage. Mutual divorces are usually much easier of course because both parties just want it over with.

I think a person will leave for many reasons but my top three would be Infedelity, Dishonesty, and Lack of Communication.


You may say what but really communictaion is key in any relationship once that is gone then you have nothing.

Answer 8

Women seem to think they are the only ones who are victims of mental abuse! My last marriage was 20 years, she finally left. Everyday I had to have things perfect around the house or we would fight. I made things perfect to avoid the screaming. Towels had to be folded a certain way or she would say why even bother if your not going to do it right. When I made her coffee, she complained I did not stir it the right way. It got to the point where I said day and she said night. When she would come home and say hello to the dogs and not me, it hurt. I stayed for my kids sake. Sad though, I soon realized the kids were better off without the yelling all the time. She found a reason to argue about anything. She left for a younger guy and said it was because I worked to many hours and was never home. Guess she did not think about her brand new house she picked out or the fancy car she also wanted to impress her friends. Sorry, raised my sons by myself from 7th grade on and they are better off for it. Another wife? Who needs one, I am happier by myself. Stop wanting so many material things so the husband doesn't have to worry about how you both are going to pay for it all. We used to have houses with one car garages, now homes have 3 car garages. Homes were big at 1500 square feet, now I know people who live in homes that have over 6000 square feet. Why? Does all that empty space make you a better wife, husband or mom or dad? Take time to enjoy life, it is very short. How much junk you have won't even matter when your gone. Remember, when a man cheats, it's usually with a married woman who is also cheating on her husband who is tired of her marriage as well.

Answer 9

I think some men just cheat because they are bored. They may still love their wife they just are seeking some excitement, or an ego boost. If the man decides to leave they usually do not end up with their mistress. So many couples cheat, and some recover, some never find out, but for whatever reason most men rather cheat than leave because of fear of financial consequences or children.

Answer 10

Well a lot of men who cheat aren't actually fed up with their wives, they're just guilty of taking her for granted and also curiosu to what's out there! It's a sinful temptatious world.
And that includes women as well... the few that are fed up with their wives actually do leave...
A man leaving his wife? Hmmm... it's rare when he can get away with cheating... but a man would leave if he truly fell in love with another woman, not lust but love! That's not common though.
And possibly if she cheated on him... men have ego problems so that would crush them.

Answer 11

Men cheat because they get bored easily and want to sample from another buffet.

Men cheat because they are socialized to cheat.

Men cheat because they are programmed to spread their seed far and wide in order to populate the earth and further their bloodlines.

Men cheat because they sincerely think they won't get caught and, if they don't, that they're not hurting anyone.

Men don't want to leave because they're lazy and it's easier to stay.

Men don't want to leave because it's expensive.

Men don't want to leave because of their kids.

Men don't want to leave because it's messy.

Men don't want to leave because no matter what happens with the temporary distraction (fellow cheater), they'll always have their wife at home, that is until the next distraction comes along.

Men make the move when they are forced to do so, likely by being caught.

And above all, once a cheater, always a cheater!