Im gay but no one really suspects anything. I don't act like the stereotypical gay and I'm more like most straight guys. The only difference is I'm gay. I'm in high school and I can say for sure that coming out has more negatives than positives. I live in rural Virginia too which doesn't help either. Since no one thinks I'm gay, isn't easier just to stay in the closet?
2007-12-30 14:41:56 · 19 answers · asked by someguy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
High school is tough. I waited until after college to come out. Which was my personal preference. It's your sexuality and you should be able to come out whenever you feel most comfortable.
2007-12-30 14:45:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
No problems at all about staying in the closet. It is often the safest place to be. Come out when you are ready to do so and when you feel the need to do so. I came out when I was 25 and never regretted not doing it earlier. I did, however, have a great gay sex life from when I was at school, I just didn't talk about it.
When you need to tell someone - perhaps because you have met the love of your life and want to tell the world - you will know the right moment to do so. By the way, until then, tell no-one if you want your secret kept. Tell one person, even your most trustworthy best friend, and the rest of the world will know within a week - if it takes that long.
2007-12-30 14:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by tentofield 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think we should make such a big deal about "Coming Out." I don't hide anything, but I don't run up and introduce myself as Ame, and by the way I'm bi. Do straight people introduce themselves that way? Then why should we?
Just be yourself. Inevitably you will say or do something that will clue someone in on the fact that you are (I will often say, "Damn, that women is fine," and then the person I am with will figure it out.)
It shouldn't be socially accepted that people who are not straight should have to "Come Out" or reveal their sexuality anymore than straight people are expected to! It just doesn't make sense to me.
At any rate, if you feel the need to, then I might wait until after high school, except for maybe a best friend or two, seeing as you're in rural Virginia.
But that's my opinion. :)
2007-12-30 14:52:57 · answer #3 · answered by amemahoney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're in High School? So you've lived 15+ years a gay person in the closet. Three years or less isn't much more.
Since you live in rural Virginia, I'll assume you live in a devoutly religious environment and that your family is likely very conservative. Am I correct in my assumption?
If I am, you may just want to tough it out and wait til you go off to college (If that is what you plan on doing). Coming out can have some profound emotional effects (both positive and negative).
I came from a devout Roman Catholic family. My little brother had a 4.5 GPA in high school, he played sports, music, etc. He was the epitome of "a Good Kid". As soon as he came out to our parents, they grounded him for 2 years! And seriously never let him out. He fell into deep depression, started doing meth and dropped out of school.
Just think very carefully before you do so. If you're comfortable living in the closet, then no harm in staying in there for a little longer. If its just a burden you can't take then come out. Assess how your parents might react, what your friends might do, and most importantly how YOU will react to judgmental people. If you can't handle criticism and bigotry, I'd definitely say, stay inside!
2007-12-30 14:49:52 · answer #4 · answered by Feelin Randi? 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'm from rural Virginia originally, and I never
"acted" gay either.
I've asked people on here why they would want to
"come out" to family or friends when it would do
nothing but cause grief. Just leave it alone!
I tell you from experience, though, don't let anyone
talk you into marrying a girl, even if you like her as
a friend, which is what I did to please everyone.
I was so naive in high school in those days I wasn't
even sure what "gay" meant. I just got turned on by
guys, and mostly kept it to myself.
Everything finally worked out, but it took awhile.
Meantime get on with your life and try not to dwell on sex.
It's not healthy no matter what your preference.
2007-12-30 14:55:07 · answer #5 · answered by teetiger 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I personally didn't have a choice, I was outed without my permission. I live in a conservative hell-hole too, and it was difficult settling into who I am. Being a junior now, (I was outed in eighth grade) I can say that it's alot easier now. People don't like change, and especially in your situation, where most people around you are raised to think against the LGBT community, it's going to be alot more difficult. Even though nobody suspects anything, that isn't a reason to supress who you are. It's totally your decision, but you've got to start somewhere, don't you?
2007-12-30 14:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you. In your situation, I would perhaps wait until I was out of high school. People are usually more accepting after high school, for reasons I have yet to completely figure out. Since I've started college, I find it to be a much more relaxed, open environment. I'm not saying you have to go to college to find this, I'm just saying that people seem to take you seriously after high school. If you're having serious doubts about coming out, then wait. Either way, good luck!
2007-12-30 15:21:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I am pretty much in the same situation. Coming from a Roman Catholic family and living in a homophobic. Living in Virginia sounds much harder. Do you wish we lived in a more diverse community like Los Angeles or New York City. We would get more support. The truth is all my friends hate gays and it sucks.
2007-12-30 16:24:30 · answer #8 · answered by A Journey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its straightforward., I too am in severe college, the only thank you to tell is by utilising there voice, in the adventure that your gay your voice protrudes it, regrettably it forces us out of the closet, for you its a rely of time, its like secret gay talk that each and every physique moreor much less suspects, yet doesnt know. O and becareful of the human beings who sound gay, yet arent, you will get use too it, its stressful in the beginning to tell the diffrence, in spite of if it gets much less complicated,
2016-10-20 11:57:49 · answer #9 · answered by goldthorpe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my best friend is gay and he didnt tell anybody until he was 21 years old. he had a really hard time with it and at first didnt want anyone but close friends to know for fear of being judged. he now is very comftable with himself and everyone knowing but if he had come out when he was still at school he would of had a really had time because people are still rather young and tend to shy away from anyone different, if you are happy with the current situation i say leave it be until your older and ready to tell everyone.you will find out who your true friends are when you do :)
2007-12-30 14:52:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you shoud stay in for now becuse I know You know there might be people that will hate you for it.....for now I gess you could do what I did (im 16) I just tould my closest best friend that I trusted with my life..when I tould him...he was OK with it and said no matter what my orientation was he would still be my best friend.....so I know that when I do come out I will have him to go to if I'm hated by everyone
2007-12-30 15:10:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋