I want your thoughts on these baby products?

Question

I was really bored while my son napped on my lap, and I came across many baby products that I found appalling. Has anyone ever heard or, or even used any of these things?

This looks like something I would use for a hanging plant:
http://www.moffii.com/

This vacuum doubles as a riding toy for toddlers!
http://redhousedesign.blogspot.com/2006/10/buster-vacuum-cleaner-for-kids.html

This baby carrier has hooks so you can hang your baby over the stall door in the bathroom.
http://www.mommysentials.com/babykeeper.htm

So much for hands-on parenting:
http://www.pregnancystore.com/zaky.htm

This contraption will tell you why your baby is crying.
http://www.showeryourbaby.com/whycrbacran1.html

It makes me so sad that there is a demand for such products. The fact that they are still available means someone out there must own and use these things. What are your thoughts on these "must have" baby items?

I have travelled with my son, and I used a sling or carrier with him until he outgrew them. I'm not against a carrier, it's the fact that you can hang them over a door. What if those hooks broke, and your baby landed on the bathroom floor? I'll hold onto my son, thanks.

Ugh, Babies Uber Alles, those things are disgusting too. They're making it all too easy for parenting to become a "hands off" job.

Liv T, I knew you would get a good laugh out of these things too.

Lol Babies, well if Johnson's said it, it must be true. They are the baby "experts". I don't fit the "acceptable" parenting practices of the Western world. Breastfeeding past a year? Ew, that's gross. Co-sleeping? You'll kill your child, but if you don't, he'll never sleep alone. Cuddling, and holding baby too much will spoil him!

I find my co-sleeping, breastfed beyond one year, baby wearing, no crying-it-out, parenting style as produced quite an independent toddler. Maybe it's just me though. : )

Answer 1

Aw, the plant hanger's nice. I mean, if they made adult-sized ones, I'd be queued up for a stylish hammock like that...

But, as for the rest...well, check out:

http://bottlesling.com/bebe_bottle_sling_instructions.htm

Babies are not really held in high esteem in the contemporary Western world. These products are all part of an overall...philosophy? Consumer demographic? where a "good" baby is a _convenient_ baby who doesn't go shaking down the parents for cuddles.

Buy the stuffed hands and start Ferberizing! You know you want to join the mainstream, Hokie! C'mon, the formula's got DHA now, how bad can it be?

Next time you're bored, Johnson's, maker of soaps for gullible parents who think scent = 'STTN,' would like to do a complimentary "sleep analysis" on your tot:

http://www.johnsonsbaby.com/sleep/default.html

There were a bunch of things I couldn't quite fill in accurately -- set bedtime, for one -- but I did my best.

I told it I had no problems with my daughter's sleep, that I was pretty happy with everything, etcetera.

I think I honestly expected it to tell me "Wow, Mom. Sounds like you and your baby are doing great! Excellent!"

Instead, it hectored me. My daughter's bedtime (such as it is) is too late. Her night waking is sub-"optimal." And I am going to kill her by sleeping with her.

Argh! Babies UBER ALLES, dammit!

Answer 2

1. I seen these in the shops when I was pregnant with the boys, so they aren't a new fad. I could NOT trust them.
What is wrong with putting the baby in his/her cot, pram, floor. It isn't that hard.
Babies didn't really come from the Stalk you know!!!!

2. Do they really work??? My kids have a toy vacuum, as they like to believe they are helping mummy. I don't much like the shape of it.
Slave Labour

3. This OMG!!! Who the hell invents this. What happens if someone cut the cord or something?? Down would come baby!!
That is sick. If you want to use a carrier use it properly and don't hand babies over bathroom doors! Imagine the germs!!! Ewwww!!

4. That is too scary.
5. Be fun for a laugh. I hope someone buys me this!! I wouldn't take it literally, but I would love to check out what it says.

Answer 3

1. The Moffi "hanging plant". Actually this looks really comfortable for a brand new baby but it wouldn't work after 3 months.

2. Re house vacuum - just plain weird.

3. Baby carrier - very cool. Might make it easier for mommy to use a public bathroom when she has the baby with her.

4. Hands-on parenting. This is just creepy!

5. Crying analyzer - really stupid and a waste of money. It only takes a couple of days and you know what all your baby's different cries mean.

Answer 4

I would have liked to have a couple of those when my kids were young! I have never seen any of those

Its hard to hold 2 babies and pee at the same time. Better to hang them on the wall than to put them in the nasty floor.

My kids would have loved riding the vacuum although I highly doubt I would spend more than $5 on something like that.

I couldnt tell you the times my daughter woke up and cried as soon as I took my hands off her. I slept 3 hours per night for the first 2 months!

The thing that tells you why your baby is crying is absurd.

I really think it's whatever the parents want .....

Answer 5

The first one reminds me of a bad version of the amby baby bed. I do think the vacuum is kinda cute and funny though, and that the carrier is probably best used for a shopping cart. I don't even want to think about the hands or the baby monitor thingy.

Answer 6

I'm the mom of 3 girls (plus a boy!) the youngest of whom is 6 months. If my 5 year old sees these shoes she'll laugh and want to put them on the baby for "dress up". First off, i don't really see a purpose of putting ANY shoe on a baby. Same thing with blue jeans for less-than-12 month olds. They are just plain uncomfortable. I think these might be funny for a laugh, and are supposed to be taken as a light-hearted gag-type, almost like a costume like for example how they will put little "ears" on hoodie jackets, etc. But it is disturbing along with the trend of girls fashion dolls recently who resemble hookers. The shoe itself might be cute, but when its on the baby i ask myself, "Where is the dignity of parents today!" Big waste of money and pathetic for the people who are paying for this or putting them on the kid for "fashion sake", I would only laugh if it were used as a silly joke as maybe part of a costume where the baby were dressed like an old lady or a school teacher or something for halloween, not to use it to "increase the beauty" of the baby. Well, I guess some prople think their babies "need help" in the looks department. Mine are gorgeous in a white onesie and a diaper!

Answer 7

The first thing is crazy. I agree on that one.

The vacuum is not the greatest of ideas. But for some parents it works.

The baby carrier isn't that bad. But I wouldn't use it over the stall. I would rather have my hubby hold the baby while I use the restroom.

The pillow is for parents that would rather get some sleep then take the time to put their children to sleep.

I have heard the thing that tells you why your baby is crying is CRAP.

I don't understand why people would invent things like this.

Answer 8

WTF, hokie, this is what I am saying, the first one is so weird, like you are displaying baby. I would like it if it was a lamp though LOL!
The hands are so creepy oh and hang your baby on the door OMG why?? Is this what it's coming to, why hold your baby when you can use a device?!
and the baby decoder, lazy lazy people!

Babies Uber Alles,
that hands free bottle thing is messed up, I guess it's for the mom who is tired of trying to prop the bottle with pillows.
Why hold your baby when you can get a device to do it for you
Laziness is a epidemic in the western world and it's spilling over into how we care for out offspring.

Oh and who can't balance a baby and pee? I have done it so many times that is insane! It's not that damn hard!

I just took that silly test, wow, I am going to have to move the baby out of bed, it's dangerous, LOL!

Answer 9

1. moffi looks comfy for a newborn, but it would look safer if it had a swing type of frame that one just looks too unsturdy.
2. vacuum looks cool, gets the kids helping out.
3. I've heard of these before and I'd rather hang my kid on the door than have to put them on the floor
4. I wouldn't use them
5. probably doesn't work, but if it did it would be good for the babysitter to use

Answer 10

The Moffii actually seems quite interesting for about the first 3 months until baby starts rolling over in it's sleep. I like the idea that it could be taken with you when you go visiting and baby still feels like it's in his/her own space when sleeping. The design is a little artsy fartsy for my taste but the idea is cool. I'm gonna take a look at the other attachments they talked about and maybe consider it for the next baby. It certainly could fit into a bedroom/living room without needing as much space as a bassinet or crib!

Riding vacuum - interesting concept and could see kids thinking it was fun, for about a week. Also raises great safety concerns about the power source, getting shoelaces sucked up, noise levels, what happens if they turn it over and stick their fingers in it, etc... Although my niece loves to help do housework and would probably love one, she is too old for a ride around toy like that. Could also see a lot of busted furniture as kids ram their toy into stuff. I wonder if the warranty would cover Daddy letting them play with their toy on the gravel driveway?

The baby carrier that lets you hang baby from the wall is an interesting idea but I doubt it's very practical for most women. Being short I would have to stand on the toilet to be able to hook my baby up over the wall. Besides, aren't their hooks on the back of each door? I thought that's why they made suspenders for kids? (JUST KIDDING before any one screams abuse) Also my guy hates carriers/slings/wraps so we wouldn't make it out of the house with one of those on.

The Zak pillow thing, totally support it's original concept for use with premature babies. I wouldn't use it at home though since I loved the time spent settling my guy even when it was a rough night. He's already 5 months old and has gotten very good at self soothing that I rarely get a chance to cuddle. Why would I use an imitation when the real touch is so much better?

The baby cry analyzer - I'd get it for the same reason I would buy one of those dog bark or cat meow translators - giggles and grins. OK, I admit that in the beginning there were times my son cried and I had no idea why and it took a bit to figure it out. However by forcing me to sort it out, it helped me to bond with my son by understanding him. I feel sorry for the Mom who relies on the gadget and the batteries go dead? Also 20 seconds to figure out the cry? Except for the times that I knew exactly why my son was crying (hungry and I was making the bottle, the week he adjusted to sleeping in his crib at night, in the car and I can't get stopped/pulled over right away, etc..) I don't think I ever let my son cry for more than 10 seconds before I was right there. Ok, so maybe he cried for a lot longer than that until I figured it out or he forgot why he was crying and stopped but still I always try to do an instant response to crying, and it isn't pointing a gizmo at his face and waiting for it to tell me what my baby wants. Believe me, my guy is real good at letting me know what he wants now!

None of these are truly must have items. They are luxury items designed for people with more money than brains for the most part. There are tons more products out there that one person will think is pointless and another can't live without. Take wipe warmers for instance, to me they are useless, my SIL swears by hers.

Now pardon me but I am off to request a brochure on the Moffii Oberon as that looked interesting..thanks for the links!!