what do i do been divorced for 29 yrs ran into ex brother-in law and oh no?

Question

when i got married he and i were close now after 28 yrs of not seeing each other i sort of went head over heels, for the last year we have been seeing each other hiding and sneaking around, he doesnt want mama to know, but we are in our 50s acting 20,mom a&i are still close as can be, should i tell, i know its gona cause drama am i morrally wrong?

Answer 1

This is not morally wrong. Hiding & sneaking is silly and don't think for a minute 'mama' is stupid, she may not say anything but she probably knows. If anyone else knows then you can be absolutely sure she knows. People just love to gossip especially in places where they think it will hurt. Let's see you have been divorced for 29 years + let's say you were only married 1 year + let's say you were 18 when you did get married, that would make you at least 48 years old, you say in your 50's. That puts Mama I would guess at least 70.

Go for it, tell her up front both of you, give everyone something to gossip about for a week to 10 days. I'll give you the same advice I gave my youngest son in your position......You have only one life to live, enjoy all that you can.

Answer 2

If you are religious ... in Leviticus 18:6 - The Lord gave instructions not to have sexual intercourse with any of your relatives. In Leviticus 18:15 .. it tells not to have intercouse with the daughter-in-law. In one verse, it even tells not to have intercourse with with wife of an Uncle.

In that family - you were the sister-in-law .. and the daughter-in-law. You were in that family .. and once a relative.

I don't know the family .. but since you are sneaking around .. and he doesn't want mama to know ... it sounds pretty evident that mama would be very displeased. If you are as close as can be with mama - then when mama finds out what you are doing with her other son - mama may feel pretty betrayed by you.

Even though you are divorced for 29 years .. how do you think your ex-husband will feel about his brother?

This whole family will take a hit.

I think you really should have left the bro alone.

What could happen is that the family will have the drama .. everyone will be mad, hurt, etc ... then they will all get over it & put it in the past ... but you could be left out in the cold by all of them. It might not happen .. hopefully, it won't happen .. but they are family - and they may stick together.

For the best morals .. it would have been best not to be with the brother of your ex-husband.

Good luck & best wishes.

Answer 3

Not sure of exactly what your concerns are here but I think it's that you are sneaking around with your ex's brother? You haven't been together with the ex's for over twenty years, so I'm guessing you have had other relationship since then. So why not make it public knowledge that you and the ex's brother are seeing each other. Unless you like all the hush hush keep it quiet stuff you two are doing. I don't think morality really plays into anything here, other than are you being true to yourself? Re-post if I have this wrong and I'll come back and re-evaluate.

Answer 4

Nothing wrong with that. I know it may be scary telling mom, but shell either be happy or not,. You got to go for yourself. Did you still get along with her after your divorce? That will help how you marriage ended, if their was no hard feelings. If so she will have to understand time goes on and things change. I would tell her before someone else dose.Good Luck.

Answer 5

It's not good to date a best friend or family member of an ex. It's an unwritten rule and a very good one.
You're being used and you can't figure it out. If he was proud of you he would want his family to know. He's hiding you for a reason.

Once the jig is up and you're found out, the fun and relationship will be over. Find someone outside the family and ex-family to date. It's unhealthy to be doing what you're doing.

Answer 6

There's an old saying " Never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing ". Somethings you just take to your grave with you. Do you like drama? Are you jealous and want to break them up so he can be with just you? Since you evidently need to hear someone tell you," Wake Up, You're Dreaming..........." And yes you are and were wrong. But it hasn't mattered before now sooooooooo.. Rock the boat !!

Answer 7

His Mama ought to be glad her 50s year old son has found happiness, especially if you have remained on good terms with her.You have been divorced for almost 30 years. Your time has finally come. Embrace it and get Mama's blessing! There is nothing morally wrong.Quit sneaking around like a couple of kids.Good Luck!

Answer 8

If this relationship is something that could be serious, you need to come clean and tell the mom. It's been a long time since you were divorced, so it's not like anyone will think you left your ex for his brother. If you guys are happy, that's what counts. Even if his mom doesn't understand at first, she should come around when she sees you guys are happy.

If, on the other hand, this is just a fling, keep it to yourselves. There's no need to cause all sorts of drama for something that's not meant to last.

Answer 9

Sounds as though she felt very soft and the previous flames began to burn he assisted her in putting them out. What could this married lady say if the placement have been rotated and the ex-sister in regulation got here to city from 25 years previous and the husband spent the complete night and night out along with her....

Answer 10

Sounds like you are enjoying the "danger" of sneaking around just like a high school kid. You know many people may not approve but really at your age why do you care? If you are both single and free to date and ... Then step out and be proud you have found love in a time when most people have given up. Congratulations and enjoy your new love and the opportunity for a great future!