Why do people always say it's good to be nice?

Question

Everytime I act nice (ACT; it's never real), I always end up with less money in the end. I'm never any happier for it, and I'm in a worse position than when I started. What is the real purpose for trying to be charitable and nice? What's so wrong with being greedy and selfish? Greedy and selfish people tend to live longer. The way I understand it, being selfish merely means that you don't care about the selfishness of others, so it's not really all that bad... is it?

Answer 1

You have to be both: selfish and altruistic. The level of how contradictory you want to take it is up to you. Once that decision is made, live with it.

Answer 2

Well maybe the whole "nice" thing isn't working for you because it is an act, and not real.

I agree that greed and selfishness are not entirely bad, but neither are they entirely good. As long as bettering yourself does not come at the expense of others, there's nothing wrong with rationally acting in your own self-interest.

Humans are by nature a social species, and being nice is an example of reciprocal behavior. The good majority of us live by the Golden Rule. We tend to treat others how they treat us, or if we haven't had dealings with them we try to treat them nice in the expectation that they will reciprocate.

I'm not quite sure why being nice isn't working out for you, maybe people are picking up on your insincerity or maybe you've just had a run of bad luck with people seeking to take advantage of you. Such people are not, however, the norm, so I would suggest that it would be in your own self-interest to try to be sincerely nice to others.

Answer 3

Acting nice is Hobbes' acting civilily. Losing money in business deals, picking up dinner tabs, or whatever is not acting civilily.

Try to distinguish "civil" and "charitable."

If your "charity" is making you lose some of your money, as compared with others in your group, then maybe you're giving too much? But you can always be polite--it doesn't cost anything. That's "nice."

You might enjoy "The Reincarnation of Edgar Cayce?", Free and Wilcock, http://www.divinecosmos.com

A way to be effective, and not be particularly selfish or greedy, is found at http://www.des.emory.edu/mfp/self-efficacy.html

Answer 4

Is it really? "Niceness" doesn't always mean morally acceptable. One should not adhere to the irrational and perhaps dangerous impulses of being "nice" but rationally consider actions with a moral standard.

Greed and selfishness is egocentric, if such egocentricity is universalised (Kant) the world would be unable to function. being selfish is not only not caring about others, it is immoral.

Answer 5

They say it's good to be nice not naif or gullible, or frankly stupid. Being nice doesn't mean not to mind your interest but rather keep an eye on others' while you mind your own. Moreover being nice a matter of respect. Respect is a mutal thing, you give it and you get it back; you don't give it you won't get it back. Maybe you just need to take a broader perspective on the world. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Because there is enough pain and suffering in this world.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the power to turn a life around."

Answer 7

Hank Reardon was "nice" to his family, and look what it got him.
It is good to be nice to the right people. To some people you don't have to try because they may not deserve "nice." Taggart's wife did not deserve "nice."

Answer 8

if you are really that fake, acting nice is still better thing to do. you can never be wrong being that way.

Answer 9

It is best to be nice all the time.As per Law of Karma we reap what we sow.This law is exactly like Cause & Effect .

Answer 10

What kind of heart do you have? Your disingenuousness is ultimately disingenuousness to yourself. What you put out is what you will receive back, magnified.