Critique or not, SHE is what matters. Details need not be expressed here, but sentiment seems appropriate.?

Question

She is the essence, of my life, although I breathe on my own.
She is my light, as I wander, even so long, still alone.
Spirit? Ghost? Most real of all creatures?
I FEEL, see and sense, each one of her features.
Through her and with her, I have grown and grow still.
Is it loving? Or loving as much, my free will?
***
She speaks to me, dreaming in the darkness of night
Her Visage, a countenance, defeating all fright,
then spreads herself over in some dawns early waking
A smile perhaps, kisses leaving me quaking.
There has been no other causing such pause
yet between us there is, no defined legal clause
***
I have heard her screams, inner most assails
as over my form felt her dragging her nails
down the length of my back, escaping within me
While her demons attacked, she looked to be free.
One definite purpose, exploring truths from within
Not dictated by, nor defined as some sin.
***
A place to be swallowed, or swallowed by another
Friend or Protector, Comrade, or Lover,
allowed to bleed, and be shed of her chains,
even as loosening might reverberate pain.
She still needs so much, to know her own strengths,
and I thought so often, I'd often gone to great lengths,
***
Only to find I had weakness as well
hiding so deep in some ego borne shell.
this part of me exists, in some want, some need,
this part of me bleeds, when cut, she too bleeds.
If Hell is defined by moaning some loss
then it is at our hand, so often we've tossed.
***
If evil resides as some endurance test,
then I submit to endure, to be at my best.
If I sense her crying, I will cry too
until I am dry and my demons are "through."
She is my salvation, redemption and cure
That I LOVE her is fact, of that I am sure.

"SHE" is "Aldara"...Greek for "Winged Gift". I have never been so graced in all my years.
I'm here primarily to compete with myself, and express, as most do, here.
I'm secure enough in my expressing, and hope to feel so, in my feeling Love.
"Hugs on you "Harpy"

To "Sam"... Given that I never took typing 101, and with limitations of my own, in those skills, AND occasional OOPS in key slips, AND limitations in what yahoo offers in character formatting, AND in an attempt to EMPHASIZE a word or point, I often "Color outside the lines" in how I express,,,BUT thank you for pointing that out, and reading the piece.

Joachin: I never claimed to be. I'm GOOD not GOD, and very secure in 40 plus years of writing and publishing. I hope to visit your work, and be as complimentary. If I stressed over all the "rejections" I've received, I would have chosen other passions long ago. THANK YOU. I notice you are as "gracious" to many others you comment to.

HARPY, my sweet Angel, "It's" always been a PING THING...

Awww what tender words Riff Raff. I blush to be so complimented.

Actually however, I have never claimed to be "Expert" at ANYTHING, and I want so much to assume YOU don't think that of yourself either. I've never been "A "legend" in my own mind",,,perhaps you are?

I note you've been as kind to others,,, I hope they appreciate your sentiments as much as I do.

Answer 1

As you know, anything over 150 words is LONG on Yahoo! The first clue that a long piece is good: can you get through it easily? Yes, this is easy to read. Yahoo has taught to ignore almost all basic rules of English. I was not slowed by any miscues here. The second clue to goodness is: do the readers want to read it twice? I did. I like it. TD

Answer 2

Ah, the man who thinks himself to be a diy expert also believes himself to be a poet. And he is secure in his decades of poor practice and hand me down wisdom in both respects.

With what little you know you must try to cover the world. God forbid you someday find yourself ignorant in some respect.

Answer 3

DIY, I would so love to read your piece.
You have visited a few of my postings, so in all fairness...

Before I do, I just have one question.
With your first line:
"She is the essence, of my life, although I breathe on my own."

Why did you place a break between "essence" and "of"?
I noticed that you do this with some of your lines and am wondering as to the meaning behind it.

Peace,
Sam

EDIT: Thank you DIY for the explanation. Knowing this, I can focus on the content of your piece and not that of the sentence and stanza structures.

PS: Do not worry about Joachin Murrieta
You do know that he is "A Professional Geologist." and not a Poet.

Edit 2:
I read your piece a couple of times, and have come to the same conclusion.

For me this piece is OUTSTANDING!
I was captured from the beginning and carried all the way through. You brought myself into your piece. I saw that which you were portraying.

EXCELLENT!
Want to wait ten years for me to catch up to you?
Peace & Love,
Sam

Answer 4

Gulps

Tears

Happy harpy

New Year cheers!

That's what really matters isn't it?

Answer 5

Your words are from the heart, but you are not a wordsmith....your poem is nothing but doggerel and way too self-important.

Answer 6

all I can say is wow...i can tell that you really felt it and that i8t came from your heart

Answer 7

You write beautifully, thanks for sharing.