I met my boyfriend 6 months ago, I knew he was separated but he told me he was ready to move on, he had tried dating back in feb but it was way too early as they only split up last xmas, I was a little wary as I still thought it was too early, but he convinced me he was ready.
I expected his first xmas after the split to be a bad one, he misses his 2 girls desperately but tonight he told me he still loves his ex wife, he said he still wants to be with me as he thinks we have something special. I don't want to lose him but I don't want to be second best, has anyone gone through this and won? I'm hoping its the stress of xmas making him like this
2007-12-30 11:33:51 · 19 answers · asked by hunneyt65 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no man can really love two women, not at the same time anyway, there is one who will always get hurt while the other gets the man. i am sure he is telling u that your relationship with him is special and maybe it is, but he wants to restore the marriage, as he isn't yet divorced, but just in case it doesn't work out with her he wants to keep u where your at so he will always have someone he can go to. its a bad move to have to play second or be kept waiting in the wings just in case things don't work out for them. he probably does miss his children. don't hold your breath or put your life on hold, hoping to win his heart because it just may not happen. if the wife knows about u chances are she is doing her best to win him back any way she can, don't open yourself up for this, end it until u see divorce papers.
2007-12-30 12:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow i can understand why your pissed off i thought that when your an ex you dont have any responsibilities to them yes he should for his daughter but not the ex wife and paying her bills what a joke, i guess the best thing you can do is sit down with your man and talk calmly about it first, but if she moves there and hes always with her and whatever then i would say that hes not over her but you know through personal experience if you have a gut feeling that something more is going on and its trouble then follow you instincts because majority of the time your feeling will be rite not much you can really do though other than sit back and watch and wait i guess goodluck
2016-03-16 21:41:17 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, no woman has gone through this and "won." There are only losers in dating a guy still in love with his ex. He at least is being honest with you. But at this point he is not ready to be in a relationship with you or anyone. Some guys can take 10 years to get over their ex. Some take only 2 years. Rarely does a guy get over her in under a year, if she did the dumping. Let this one go, because you are, as you say, "second best."
2007-12-30 11:46:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're only shot at getting your ex back is to follow the right steps that will make her ask you to get back together. Learn here https://tr.im/Jotgr
Maybe if you broke up with her, then you might be able to be the one who brings up the subject of getting back together. But if you can do it without, it would be much better. But how do you get someone back without seeming desperate? In order to get your ex girlfriend attention, you have to show value without telegraphing your interest in her, while at the same time initiating interaction. So don't ignore your ex texts and calls when they break up with you. It screams that you are so devastated by the breakup that you can't even handle talking to her. You want to respond to her, but do it in the right way. You can even initiate communication if you do it in the right way. You have to maintain a strong frame of confidence, and show your ex girlfriend that your happiness isn't dependent on being with her
2016-04-27 01:36:09 · answer #4 · answered by pennie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at least he is being honest about loving her still..and it sounds like he'd like to have his cake and eat it too so before it goes any further, because the longer u r with him the harder it will be to get over him, tell him y ou refuse to be 2nd best and until he can figure out what he wants you do not want to participate...its her or you..if he misses you he will show it and respect you for respecting yourself..this will also force him to face his ex and their situation alone and he may be just missing the familiarity of the past instead of really loving her still...either way you do what is best for you. they are separated for a reason, remember that..he will most likely miss you. If you love something set it free.....
2007-12-30 11:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by alicat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is that indecisive, it would be in your best interest to put some space between the two of you. His insecurities and need for his ex will only hurt you. Don't compromise with him, because of the holidays. He is really hoping that he can continue to play on your sympathy and keep you on hold until he gets her out of his system. You don't deserve that. Good Luck!
2007-12-30 11:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in a losing situation. He wants to keep you on the side while loving someone else. Give me a break....your worth more than that and I hope you know it. He can love his 2 daughters....but the EX is an EX for a reason. Until he gets that straightened out...stay clear.
2007-12-30 11:50:09 · answer #7 · answered by Grandma of 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you two need some space apart for a week or two, just to see how he will feel without you. Tell him you don't deserve to be second choice. Sit down with him and let him know, what he wants out of you in this relationship and also from him.
2007-12-30 11:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by zoey1176 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he still loves his ex wife and has kids with her, that's two things to HER benefit, not yours. You should try to find somebody else who's moved on and doesn't have baggage. I knew somebody who couldn't get over his ex and every time he sees her, he kept leaving his current beau to be with her, even though she didn't want him anymore..
2007-12-30 11:38:38 · answer #9 · answered by baebeecakes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discover how to get your ex back with simple text message: http://getyourexback.checkhere.info
Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.
2014-10-22 18:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋