Do end a friendship like you do a "relationship"? ADULTS ONLY PLEASE!!?

Question

I posted a questions earlier today and I got 2 responses 1 from someone incredibly young. This is a mature issue and I need some good advice! My friendship of 20+ years with my BFF from High School has really hit the skids over the last couple of years. My friend is completely wrapped up in her lil mid western life and I honestly don't recognize her anymore! She is completely enveloped in her 3rd marriage and I only hear from her when she sends me yet... another mass email with her newest baby pics in it. The last one I got yesterday had 53 pics of her new baby. Her mass xmas letter went immediatly in to the relived details of her birthing the latest edition.

Last year I got married and didn't get a call, card nothing. I sent her a cd with pics on it showing the event.. nothing.

Do you formally email and say ciao? I don't want to maintain this? Or just let it die off???

Oh don't worry... she doesnt' email or call anymore.. she hasn't in 6 months.. the thing that I would like to do is officially end this, and tell her why.

Oh don't worry... she doesnt' email or call anymore.. she hasn't in 6 months.. the thing that I would like to do is officially end this, and tell her why.

Answer 1

Just let it die off.
She is too caught up in her life right now to even think about how she is treating you and to be honest, if you were to confront her about it she would probably act like she does not know what you are talking about.

If you need some kind of closure, than send her the email, but I would not reply to any emails she may send back. Just let it go, because she it too. Unfortunately, it is hard and difficult but than it takes two to make a relationship work --any kind of relationship.

(I am thirty by the way).

Answer 2

She is so shallow she thinks her email list is a list of her true friends. If you have been emailing or talking to her, just stop. Block her emails so you don't have to bother with that nuisance. If and when she notices that you are not a fan of her life, she will call and you can tell her that friendship is a two way street. Tell her she has done nothing to nurture your friendship and you have moved on. Of course, she will be offended and not know what you are talking about, then you can ask her about your wedding, the most important day of your life that she ignored. Good luck, you deserve better friends and she needs to figure out she is a user.

Answer 3

I frequently get chatty mass-mailed Christmas letters not only from friends I am no longer particularly friendly with, but also relatives. I don't let it worry me though, even if there life isn't like the one I would choose. Everyone gets wrapped up in their life, often to the exclusion of friends who were once close. I hate to admit that I have forgotten to send graduation gifts, baby and wedding congrats,etc. to people who are my friends....I know they are proud of these events and just want to share, and I feel guilty about forgetting and just hope they can forgive me.
You say she sent lots of pictures of her baby and you sound a little resentful...even though you evidently sent her a CD of pictures also. It may seem to her that you are wrapped up in your life also, or she may see this exchange of pictures etc. as how you two keep up with each other.
Really I am not sure why you would want to formally tell her good-bye even if her life doesn't exactly mirror the kind you would have chosen. Just ignore the letters, or respond when you feel like it.

Answer 4

It's a fact of life that friends often grow apart, especially when there is distance involved. In this world you have giver, and you have takers. Your friend sounds like a taker. Hopefully you are mature enough not to let it bother you too much, and go on with your life. Never give anyone the power to make you feel a certain way. You be the bigger person in this situation. No it's not right , or fair, but who ever said life is fair.

Answer 5

you have made the alternative, and it is your existence. often times friendships end for no obvious reason, different circumstances that's as a results of many reasons. i finished one friendship after the pal have been given hooked into drugs. I nevertheless keep an eye fixed on them often times, yet putting out and different issues are long long gone. So in answer on your final questions, i think of you made your decision... some friendships are greater suitable off ended.... no longer each conflict is resolvable, yet an attempt does might desire to be made.... and you will experience guilt of a few form and that exhibits which you have been a robust pal.

Answer 6

Just let it die off, there isn't really a need to say "I don't want to be friends with you anymore." If she hasn't contacted you in a while, then why reopen old wounds? If she's forgotten about you, then it's perfectly within your rights to forget about her. You're more likely to "maintain" the uncertainty + uncomfortableness if you contact her again with an e-mail or whatever.

Answer 7

Well that could happen with family and not only freinds theres usually always a good explanation for why she doesnt send greetings and such so u dont really have to end it i think shell really surprise u one of these days...or when u really need her the most maybe shell show up but ur angry and let down just dont end it!!

Answer 8

Dont do anything, just let her come to you. Make a new friend/friends. But dont burn any bridges. She's probably moved on and you should do the same, but I dont think she wants to stop being friends with you though.

But if it really bothers you, let her know. If she still doesn't do anything then you know shes not a proper friend and just let it go.

Answer 9

Just let it die off. No need to say anything. She is terribly self-involved. do not call, answer her e-mails, or communicate in any way. It will die off.