Feeling Guilty?

Question

From the beginning of my pregnancy, I've just had this feeling that my baby was a boy. Every sign pointed to the baby being a boy, the doctor even thought the baby may have been a boy, but wasn't able to tell for sure because the baby is uncooperative during ultrasounds. However, a couple of days ago, it was confirmed that I'm having a girl.

Needless to say, I am disappointed, & I feel like I have to get to know my baby all over again. I feel guilty enough for feeling this way, because I know I'm very lucky that my baby is healthy, I'm lucky I can even have a baby. But now I have everyone in my family, including my fiance, acting like I'm going to be a bad parent to my child simply because of the way I feel now.

I love the baby with all my heart, but like I said, I almost feel like I don't even know the little person I've been carrying for almost 8 months. Has anyone ever felt this way? How did you cope? It's really getting to me.

Answer 1

Your not now nor will you be a bad parent because of that feeling that you got..... for 8mnths you had been rubbing your belly thinking you were having a little boy and anticipating that. now you got a curve ball thrown at you by finding out it's a girl. You don't have to go and get to know your baby all over again, still the same baby........ kicks the same, makes you uncomfortable the same...... just going to require a little frilly dress instead of a jersy. It will take a few days to set in and everything will be fine! Before i found out what i was having i had everyone telling me i was having a girl, having a girl having a girl....... well in the beginning i had this feeling i just knew it was a girl myself...... but because of all these people telling me it was a girl as well, for some reason i started thinking it was a boy. When i went to my ultrasound and found out it was a girl i was almost disappointed for a second because i had told myself it was a boy lol, and then i felt guilty like i wasn't happy, but i was! i had wanted a girl the entire time. Anyways my point here is that, your going to be a great mom, the fact this worries you shows me that you have a good heart. We are just overly emotional and hormonal during pregnancy and freak out over things, and have fears of being a bad mother. its normal...... And tell your family to kiss your butt =) they should be more supportive.

Answer 2

i went through this also, everyone including me was convinced i was having a girl but when i went for my 3D ultrasound there was clearly a penis and i was disappointed to thinking wow i was so looking forward to meeting my daughter to find out i have a son in my belly. Well needless to say that feeling soon passed within like a week and now i am proud to be carrying a son. I just wanted a girl because i already have 2 boys at home but now i am thankful i am even able to have this baby.

Tell your family to piss off and that you will be a great mom.
Don't worry it will get better once you hold your little one in your arms.

Answer 3

Don't worry! I think every woman has " a feeling" and a lot of times the feeling isn't right. That's ok! It doesn't mean that you won't love her like you would have loved a boy. I think our " mom mindset" kicks in when we get pregnant and we have a need to find ways to connect with the baby. Guessing the gender is one of those ways! I thought for sure I was having a boy and both of my ultra sounds showed a girl, but I love her just the same. You are no different. Have fun picking out a name and buying lots of pink!

Good luck!

Answer 4

when I was pregnant with my daughter everyone was sure it was a boy, just had to be a boy because all of my husbands other kids were boys (2 from previous marriage, and our oldest) so everyone was convinced it was a boy. I had the same problem with the baby, she would not sit so we could see!! she hid until my 7th month when we finally found out it was a girl. It was really weird at first, I was expecting a boy and so was everyone else. But once my little angel was born, oh it was love at first sight!!! and girls are so much fun!! I never thought I would enjoy shopping for little dresses, shoes and tights!! hair bows! things you never get with a little boy!! my little rotten angel is 2 now, and she has everyone wrapped around her finger!! including her big brother!!
don't worry your feelings will change and you will enjoy your little girl just as much as you would a boy!!

Answer 5

I was in the exact situation you are about a week ago. I thought for sure I was having a boy because I just had "a feeling." A week ago my ultrasound confirmed that my bab is a girl. I thought I would be disappointed because I'm not having a boy but I am just as happy! To help you get over your initial disappointment - start looking for gender specific items in stores and online - Clothes, nursery items, bedding, etc - and also chosing names for your little one. Once you start doing these things it may be easier for you to relate to your beautiful little girl.
Good luck!

Answer 6

I swore I was having a boy.
It was confirmed at my 2nd level that it was a girl.
I was happy because all the test for abnormalities were negative, and she's healthy.
I was happy that she was healthy, not disappointed but even more scared because it's a girl.
Because I'm a single young mom, and not very intimidating, how the hell am I going to keep her boyfriends scared on in-line?
Girls are more expensive, and once again one income.

You're going to love your baby so much, and you can think you know you're baby in you tummy, but you won't know them until they're born. That's when you see their personalities. I promise you'll love your daughter the MINUTE you meet her.

Answer 7

with my first baby i too thought i was carrying a boy.. i even bought blue and had DH paint the room blue, then i delivered her a beautiful baby girl i didn't know what to do with a little girl called ben!

i was horrified! so first things first me and DH choose a girls name and then i had so much fun returning all the blue and putting her in her frilly little dresses with the little knickers to match!

it can feel like a let down but at the same time once you hold that beautiful little bundle in your arms those thoughts will change.... and who knows maybe you have a tom boy in their? which is why you thought boy!

Answer 8

Go to the store and look only at girl things, how cute the clothes are and as crazy as it sounds talk to her while doing it. What do you think of this one? Oh I think this would look cute on you! It will make you more focused. pick out a name and start calling her by it. You will feel more connected the more you do it. Once you have her and see her tiny little face looking up at you and you hear her cry..trust me that is all it will take. But don't feel guilty..when people are focused on only one sex and find out the opposite they are all dissappointed..I've been there.

Answer 9

it is ok you will love the baby when she is born and you may even feel better with a girl because it is more like you ...I have two girls and desperately wanted baby 2 to be a boy and did not get it but she is the sweetest and happiest child I am blessed really and you will be too!!!

Answer 10

I don't care what anyone says, you don't feel the same about your baby while they are in the womb as you do when you meet them. It's overwhelming and it won't matter what sex you wanted it to be. I wanted girls with both my pregnancies and got boys. I couldn't imagine having a girl now.