My baby boy is 10 weeks old. He has been fussy since he was born. A bit of colic which has almost gone away, yet he still has his super grouchy fussy days. It's never predictable.
He is also a baby who, if you lay him down to nap, he may stay asleep for five to ten minutes. He, since birth, has preferred to sleep in someone's arms. I have gotten him to take a few naps out of arms, but that's it. Because of this I wear him in his Moby Wrap quite often. It's how he gets his longest periods of rest.
At night, he only wakes to nurse every 3 or 4 hours. And, he does not fully wake up at night at all. He's been great about nighttime.
Now, because my Mom, Dad, the baby's Dad, other people, etc. cannot calm my son, she thinks it's because he's spoiled. She says I carry him around too much, and that I should get him on a "schedule". She says he is a spoiled, grouchy baby. She tells me I need to let him cry. And, she constantly questions me about when he'll be different...
2007-12-30 09:03:23 · 11 answers · asked by Danielle L 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
He is my 5th child mind you...none of his older brothers and sisters were colicky, nor did they require such high maintenance. It does not bother me, and I am happy to carry him around and comfort him when he needs it. He does spend time each day in his activity chair or under his play mat. He is not in my arms all day long. But, he is most settled with me. He's not yet taken to his daddy, or to any other people yet.
Others can hold him for a few minutes before he's unhappy. There are days when I reach my limit and I wish I had ten minutes to myself, but that feeling passes quickly. I keep reading about high need babies and it makes me feel better. But, how can I get my mom to lay off without being mean? I know that as he gets older, he'll get better. But, she constantly makes comments to me...arrrggghhhh!!!
2007-12-30 09:06:07 · update #1
You cannot spoil a 10 week old baby!!! Colicky babies do need to be held more. I can sympathize with you dealing with a colicky baby after having four children. My third was colicky and I had to invest in a baby sling to carry her around because she wouldn't let me put her down!! She is a perfectly well adjusted 3 year old now and although she occasionally has some seperation issues, she is far from spoiled!!
Tell the baby's grandma that crying is his way of communicating that he is uncomfortable (she should know this!!) and it's your job to make him more comfortable. She probably raised her kids under that silly notion that went around quite a few years ago that said you can spoil a child by answering every cry and carrying them around too much but a lot has happened since then and it is actually vital for their growth and well being for them to be touched and held as much as possible in the early stages of life!!!
Good luck!
2007-12-30 10:19:55 · answer #1 · answered by jujube 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhhhhg.... what is it with grandparents?? my in laws said the same thing about my firstborn, and then turned around and have been thanking my hubby and I for all we do and how good he is (which is mostly just his personality anyway). And THEN they've turned around (and my family too) and say that we spoiled our other son too. Bologna!! we give him what he needs and just because he doesn't like to be held by others besides his parents doesn't mean he's spoiled! It took him a while to adjust to daddy too.
So as long as it isn't the last baby, youngest child spoiling game (which DID happen with my sister) then I think that you really do know what is best. My only suggestion is to show her the info that you have found on high needs babies so that she can see where you are coming from. Also take it with a grain of salt..... you do have 5 kids and she isn't there all the time, therefore she doesn't really know what is going on.
2007-12-30 09:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by lovemy2boys&girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem as if you already know all the things to do and that your doing the right thing for your little one. The wrap is definitely a Godsend! As for what to say to your mother in law or anyone else....Ask them if they've ever cried themselves to sleep, maybe they've gotten in an argument with their significant other and went to bed upset, all they want is for that person to come and make it better but they don't....ask them if they think a baby should feel that way. My feelings on crying it out is this...does it work,sure, but it is teaching the baby that there need is not going to be met so they may as well not bother. I'm not condemning people who do this, their baby their prerogative, but it's not for me. After you explain yourself once I wouldn't bother explaining again just ignore them and take comfort in the knowledge that you are doing the best thing for your child. Good luck!
2007-12-30 09:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by dolfin426 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's tough because the grandparents of today constantly feel like the babies of today are spoiled. Life is just so different now for the babies we are raising and the rules have all changed. I would politely thank her for her input but let her know that you get to be the mom now and this is how you choose to raise your baby. It's a tough thing to say, but sounds necessary.
Good luck!
2007-12-30 09:09:47 · answer #4 · answered by Pedsgurl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, the 1st ingredient i might do is supply him Tylenol for the photographs. Is he appearing like he's attempting to push and not something is taking place, or are you in basic terms freaking out as a results of fact he hasn't pooped? some toddlers can choose for some days without pooping and be wonderful, and if he's not appearing consitpated, i does no longer situation. do no longer do any further suppositories till you spot the Dr. no longer something against grandma, yet we do issues in any different case now than they did back interior the day. Rub his tummy, attempt to calm down your self, and if it gets to be too lots, purely placed him in his crib and walk away till you get administration back. undergo in innovations, if he's crying, a minimum of he continues to be alive.
2016-10-10 15:58:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told her how much her comments upset you?
My ILs make comments like that and I just let them roll off my back but if they are truly upsetting you, or if she is disrepecting you in front of your older children you NEED TO put your foot down. People only treat them the way you let them, and if that means you can't see your mom as much for awhile that's just the way it is.
Your mental health and your children's ability to respect you are more important than a selfish person's happiness -even if she is your mother.
2007-12-30 09:52:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if it's giving him and you some rest and quite time, then it's not spoiling! And you shouldn't let her "cry it out" until 6 months when your baby knows that your there if she needs you. And can take care of some of her own needs (like feeding herself a bottle,playing in her crib ect)
2007-12-30 09:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by Kellie R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your baby and mine sound like they were seperated at birth. Mom will get over it, tune her out. Before you know it he will be a happy, well adjusted and securely bonded baby.
note to self... get a moby wrap....
2007-12-30 09:08:57 · answer #8 · answered by parental unit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm....I'm sure it's a tough situation.....I would just tell them as gently as you can that you and your husband are doing the best you can and firmly believe you can not 'spoil' a child.
2007-12-30 09:08:04 · answer #9 · answered by SophieB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
agree with her, then do what you are doing. it's good that you are doing that, babies can't be spoiled!
you are doing the best thing for your baby, and you know it won't last, it's good to use the time they will cuddle, I know cause my big ones won't
2007-12-30 09:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by liv t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋