I am ashamed to ask any of my friends this. What do you do when your own husband steals from your savings an?

Question

I have a private savings , checking, and credit card because my husband has stolen from me in the past and present to buy himself toys and race car parts. I think he is addicted to his cars. I heard you can get addicted to anything. He denys it. He has easily bought things on the internet with my credit card (his cards are maxed out). Somehow he learned my pin number (my bank card) I think from watching me. He was able to pull money from my ATM. He thought I WOULDN'T NOTICE. The worst of it is that now I JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE HAS STOLEN MY IDENTITY AND HAS ORDERED CREDIT CARDS IN MY NAME. He said to me yesterday that I shouldn't woryy because he has been making payments but I called and he never made one single payment. Thank god I ALREADY BAUGHT A HOUSE. He swears that he doesn't need anything else for his car and I have nothing else to worry about. He has said this over the past ten years. We have three small children. I am afraid he is a thief? Do I LEAVE? The kids love him. Is

We did have joint accounts but he couldn't stay on a buget! I have to pay the bills.

We did have joint accounts but he couldn't stay on a buget! I have to pay the bills. How is putting your hands in your wifes purse and taking credit cards and loans in her name ok ? This response is toward richard H. That is not 50/50 that is financial abuse.

Answer 1

I think you don't love him and are just trying to get rid of him. You are married to him so everything you have and everything he has is 50 50. I don't understand what the big deal about money, I guess that happens when you make money your GOD. I know my Wife and I keep our money together and discuss when we want to spend money on something personal, and it really works. I get what i want she gets what she wants and it makes us very happy. If he is your husband he did not steal from you, he should have discusses spending money on things with you before he did it though. If you love him you should try to work this out and if you don't leave. I think if you have your own accounts and things you don't plan on being with him forever, like the Vow's you took....

Answer 2

My former wife had 23 creit card that I was completely unaware of until it was too late. I went to credit councelling and there was just no way I could make payments on $54,000 in credit card debit. Evan after a chapter 13 bankupsy she stopped paying evan the morgauge and utils.
A leopard does not change his spots and this guy has been getting away with financally abusing you for 10 years and god only knows what else. Have you seen any of his credit card reciepts and know for a fact that he is not spending money on other women, drinking or gambling. I lost my home, my business and had 33% of my income from my job garnished for 3 years. Money isn't everything, but lack of money because of a spouses financial irresponsibilty will wreck the marrage and your life. You have kids to think about.

I would take this guy to task. Either he comes clean and goes to councelling or it's over. After you putting up with 10 years of his abuse, I seriously doubt he will change. If you love him give him a single chance to get it together. Otherwise turn him in and let him learn the error of his ways the hard way.

Answer 3

You've got a problem which won't stop easily - maybe even never.

If you want to - you can push the deal with the credit card companies that you did not open the account in your name .. that you did not give your authority for anyone else to do it. Tell the credit card company that you are going to report them. I don't know how far the credit card company will push it .. or what they might do to your husband .. but it might get you out of having to pay for them. You can also deny charges which you did not make. This might be extreme - but it may also make your husband back off. Contact Identify Theft sites for information.

I would throw a fit .. and tell him that I wanted him to pay off every credit card which he opened in my name NOW . And .. I would get possession of those cards .. and I would call the card companies and put a stop to it all.

It's sad ,,, but you need to change all of your banking ways & accounts. You need to come-up with a plan to out-wit your husband ... or .. he may ruin your financial life - which will trickle down to ruin everything else in your life.

Do not keep any pin numbers written down. If you can, have ONE pin number ,, and have it inside your head/mind. Never .. absolutely never .. leave your cards, etc where your husband can find them.

You need to evaluate your situation. How will your future survive with a husband who does these things? If he has done these things over the past 10 years ,, then it is not likely he will stop now. Another thing .. if he has opened credit cards in your name .. how do you know if has opened other types of accounts in your name, too ... even maybe taken out bank loans in your name. How will all of this effect you .. and your kids .. for the future when you have to have important & necessary things?

Just give this a lot of thought .. think of all your options .. consider the consequences .. pro & con .. and make a choice of what is best for you. Ask yourself questions .. like what would happen to you & your kids, if he ruins you financially - then leaves you & the kids? Also - all the other debt he runs up can involve you , too ... even though you didn't do it, but you are married to him - so it is yours, too.

The choice you make, will make your life.

Answer 4

I wouldn't leave him till I gave him an ultimatum----either get counselling or I am leaving you. And then STICK TO IT! He needs to see that he has a problem, and making him go to a counsellor may not open his eyes unless he will really look at this situation. You should talk to him when things are quiet around there, and you take his hand and say, "Honey, do you think it is normal for any spouse to sneak around and get thier spouses information? I checked and you have not paid the credit card bill, yet, you are telling me that everything is okay? Don't you see where there is something wrong with this picture? I am scared to death of who you are becoming, and that you are willing to take me and the kids along on your downhill fall. I must tell you that you will either have to get counselling, or that I am going to leave." But, do NOT threaten to leave if you won't really do it. IF you say it, then mean it! Stick to it. But, if he goes to counselling, then I think you should stay by his side. The final decision is really yours to make, so I wish you all the best.

Answer 5

I would cut up your credit cards and even debit cards if you can't keep them safe at all times (you have to sleep sometime). Start using checks that he is not authorized to sign and alert the bank you use that he is not authorized to withdraw from your account. If you really do not trust him, you have to do something drastic to save yourself financially. If he is stealing from you, how much can he really respect you as his wife? I'm sorry to say, I would not stick around, but I know that's easier said than done. He doesn't need anything else for his car so you have nothing else to worry about, is a bad sign. You shouldn't have anything to worry about regardless of what his toys need!!!

One key point though.... You stated that "the kids love him", do you? Because you didn't mention that.. Just saying...

Answer 6

I would not put up with this. He has stolen from you in the past and you let it go then. Look where that got you. I would not take it again. He is a liar and a thief. Yes I would leave him, I would have done it the last time. He is piling lie on top of lie. What else is there that you have just not found yet? The kids will still love him when he lives somewhere else.

Answer 7

this is serious, first of all you should pull up your credit report to make sure that he hasnt ruined your credit. Next, you should get rid of all the cards that he has gotten without your consent. before you turn all the cards off, you speak to him. tell him your fears and concernes about his behavior and dont allow him to sway you. inform him that youre turning the cards off. call your bank and report your card stolen then cut it up and order a new one. your husband sounds unstable when it comes to money i think you should ask him to see a counselor or something. be careful because him ruining your finance could mean big trouble for you and your kids he should be working to build good finances with yo not break you down. if atlking and these actions dont work then maybe youre in more trouble than you might have suspected

Answer 8

He stole from you before and you let it slide and now your in really deep. These things he is doing are serious crimes and I say that you report him. He obviously has some kind of problem whether its drugs, gambling or whatever. If you don't report it then you will be responsible to pay back all that debt. He obviously is not going to pay it all off or he would have just paid off his. If it gets out of control then you'll both be sunk and you will lose the house....then where will you and the kids be??

Answer 9

I've seen this before and then the husband dies and wife is left with debt. Get your credit report, now. Go to a lawyer ASAP. Sit down and go through everything with a fine tooth comb. Keep him there for now so you can at least keep an eye on him. Once this is all cleared up, then deal with the relationship. Good luck.

Answer 10

Press charges for the stolen money and fraudulent credit cards. Then make him go to counseling. Also, talk to a lawyer to find out what the best thing to do would be.