Losing an erection?

Question

I have been married for 10 years. My husband and I have been going through some problems so I moved out. There is no-one else involved, just boredom really and silly arguments. We are trying to work things out apart from a sex issue. When we have sex my husband keeps losing his erection and we don't know why. He is only 30 and this has never happened before. I asked him if there was any problem and he said no. It is strange because we are working things out and getting on well now and going to Relate. Nothing else in our relationship has changed and he is always there when I need him. We see each other regularly and I know he isn't cheating. Could it be that he is feeling insecure because I moved out? Our sex life has always been great up to now.

Why are people so childish?

Answer 1

Discuss this with your counsellor in Relate.

Answer 2

I can tell you that men, throughout their 30s, 40s and 50s, all experience periods when things 'flag'. Even the most ardent and sexual lovers experience the problem. Any man that has not is lucky I guess. It can happen for all sorts of reasons and normally ( unless something physical is amiss ) this is down to stress, depression, loss of identity. Time and understanding normally sort the problem out but to hype on it will only exacerbate things. Remember women can lose sex drive just as easily ,,, it's normally the first thing to go when there is a relationship problem. I suspect that he may be simply lacking confidence with you, perhaps he feels inferior in some way due to the bad patch? Contrary to popular opinion, men can lose that vital urge for the smallest of reasons .. not a sign of weakness, just a sign of over sensitivity. While you may be living remotely for now, there is nothing wrong with some compassion and understanding for him. I do hope that time helps you out here.

Answer 3

Probably if things are not going too well these might be at the back of his mind without realising it things between you and things at work could be on his mind also, you never mentioned children, do you have or not have children is this the problem ask yourself. Being a man 45 years married I've been there got the t shirt there is many things can stop things working when there is a problem.Don't give up on him if you love one and other, work it out together, if you are apart you cant talk.

Answer 4

Mental tensions,insecurity,hard work and hrmone imbalance ,all or any one of the above may cause in loss of erection.Lack of confidence is another reason.Have an free and frank discussion.You can also consult a doctor.If these problems are not there,it may be hormone imbalance and /or improper food habits etc.fall in level of testeterone may affect sex.You have to investigate with the help of a G.P.Age indicates that it cannot be ED and he may not require viagra.It will be only minor problem ,please consult a doctor early.Good Luck

Answer 5

It could be a lot of things. Lack of interest, lack of blood circulation due to diabetes, or performance syndrome which is thinking and fear about losing an erection so much you forget about what you are doing. Could also be stress. This is quite common. Things go in cycles. The more you worry about it the more pressure he feels to perform which results in losing the erection..

Answer 6

Erectile Dysfunction can be devastating to men, and unfortunately, millions of men suffer from the condition. Learn how to cure erectile dysfunction https://tr.im/l0uhG

If you go to the doctor to talk about the issue, you’re likely to get put on one or more of the popular medications used to treat the condition. While they can be effective (temporarily), these medications come with a raft of side effects, some of which are decidedly unpleasant. Even worse, these medications aren’t really a cure, they’re more like a temporary workaround.

Worst of all, they tend to be really expensive. Month after month, you’re having to pay to work around your condition. That’s what the Big Pharmaceutical companies want.

Answer 7

YES a lack of confidence can kill his erection and once he feels unsure that he can get hard the problem gets deeper

talk to the counselor and if he needs more help a doctor, to be honest a single pill might make all of the difference, once he gets his confidence back he should return to normal and not need any help

Answer 8

I went through a spell of this happening to me when i was about 33 for no apparent reason. The relationship was fine and i felt phsically and mentally fine but the more i thought about it the worse it got. We worked at fore play and she would dress up for me etc. and eventually all was well again. I think it can happen to many men on occasion and when it does it is, pardon the pun, but a big thing, so happening once you get scared its gonna happen again and it spirals. Basically you gotta work at it and use plenty of foreplay. Good luck and all the best for new year.

Answer 9

i think you should read my question my husband is only 27 stop making an issue oof it go to ann summers enjoy yourself and him feel free dont be embarresed go to a hotel together have sex in the car in the street any were or just let him watch you with your new rabbit i would recomend the carousel it will send your spinning

Answer 10

Your partner has one of the most commonly untreated medical disorders in the world.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003164.htm
http://www.erectionadvice.co.uk/
http://www.embarrassingproblems.co.uk/erectionproblems_treatment.htm
http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/news/Aug2001/ErectileDysfunction.html
http://www.med4u.co.uk/WLAs/erectile.htm
http://www.lovelifematters.co.uk/understanding-his-erection-problem/What-is-causing-his-erection-problem.html

A lot of men suffer from this, they just don't like talking about it, understandably.
It probably isn't that you've moved out, particularly if things seem to be improving otherwise. It could be stress if things are going badly for him in another area, but even so men are usually very happy to get sex when they do and instinct takes over, so its probably another reason.
Things like diet, drinking, smoking can play a part - as can diabetes. It’s worth him taking a diabetes test (some chemists do them – Lloyds do) as that could be a cause.

There could be a very simple short term remedy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/****_ring
You can buy them on-line.

Of the pills, Cialis is said to be effective for this. If suffering from diabetes it can be prescribed on the NHS.
http://www.ukmedix.com/cialis/cialis_faq.cfm

If he can be pursuaded to see a doctor, they probably can help. Quite a lot of men do go to their doctors because of this.

Answer 11

I know it's really embarrassing but tell him to go to the doctor's. You'll never know what the problem is otherwise, it might be a simple medical thing, it might be psychological. Your counsellor may be able to help.