What do you think of my poem? Should I publish it?

Question

Here is the poem. The title is "Winter":

Was to be such a beautiful view,
but with Winter on the way,
It was a barren wasteland.

Up in a tree,
so far the eyes can see.
My eyes saw the many, many trees,
with their leaves all fallen.

The grass has turned yellow,
not even the slightest speck of green.
Sounds are not welcome,
because the quiet is so serene.

The old country gates keep in the cattle,
but with winter so cold,
they will creak open if you give them a rattle.

The cold is nippy and bitter,
but there is a reason.
It is Winter,
such a astounding season.

Answer 1

Apparently you think more of your work than I do....keep working maybe your next "poem" won't suck so bad.....

Answer 2

Technically, if you've posted it here, you've published it. As far as the poem itself goes, it needs work. It's not "bad", but it falls short of being good. Let's see why...

To rhyme or not to rhyme: Your first stanza has three lines in free verse, your second has four lines in an aabc pattern (arguably aaab if one ignores the "s" after "tree"), the third has four lines in an abcb pattern, the fourth has three lines in a tercet (aba) and the last has four lines in an abab pattern. Whew...pick a pattern and stick with it...or pick two, perhaps a four line stanza followed by a three line stanza...but if you're going to rhyme, be consistent, don't switch back and forth between free verse and rhyme and when rhyming don't keep changing up your rhyme schemes because it destroys the flow of your poem. Also, your lines are incredibly uneven; your beats should keep the reader moving forward and the repetition should assist both the reader and the poems flow. Finally, when rhyming, it's more than just finding words that rhyme, that's easy enough, it's finding the "right" words that rhyme in such a way that one hardly even notices they rhyme. It's very difficult to do well, so don't feel bad when it sounds forced, just keep editing it to improve on your last version.

Look at some of your descriptions and ask yourself if you could have said the same thing in fewer words...for example, instead of "the grass has turned yellow, not even the slightest speck of green" you might have written, "grass gone yellow beyond the slightest speck of green", which could have been followed by, "The slightest sound unwelcome; so quiet, so serene." In any event, try some editing to even out your poem, establish a set pattern and beat, and write what sounds right to your ear...then have someone else read it out loud to you and edit some more.

...and keep writing

Answer 3

it is a very nice poem but there is one thing i have to tell you about the publishing especially if this is your first time publishing let me justtell you: its going to take some time for your book to get reconized because this is your first time writing and there are a lot of other ppl out there.

Answer 4

It's great. It might even pass for a song! In the last line 'a' needs to be 'an'.

Answer 5

You should publish it and it's nice how you like poetry because it's really you.Much,much better than my poems.

In my opinion I think you should go for it.

Answer 6

I think u have a good chance with this one go for it!