I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6yrs now & we have a 20mo old daughter together. Well he will never watch her for me. Like if I want to take a shower & ask him to watch her he always says "wait until she's asleep!" Plus I just started this new fitness plan for my new years resolution & it requires me to run on the treadmill everyday (shape's meltdown). Well I asked him to watch her & he said "Wait until she's asleep" but I did & the tread mill woke her up & she was all the way at the other end of the house... He never changes her diapers for me, He never gives her a bath... I have to do everything & never get to do anything I want to do. I asked him "What if I started refusing to change her diaper or even watch her?" (which I would NEVER do btw) he said "well I guess you'd be a bad mom then" Plust he's only nice to me when he wants "some" but when he don't he's hateful to me all day. I don't know what to do. I love him but I'm really not happy at all...
2007-12-30 07:32:43 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also I can't talk to him about it because if I do he'll get all huffy puffy and leave for a while... Plus I want whats best for my babygirl of course...
2007-12-30 07:34:09 · update #1
SORRY, seen enough, been around enough to see right through your stuff. "I'm the PERFECT little wife, and mama and HE is a dirty wacko-wack who treats me like a sex slave and is a horrible, father to our little angel child" COM'ON NOW!!! once you explore this situation TRUTHFULLY, you will find an answer. REMEMBER, no matter what, it takes TWO to make a marriage work and compromise is 90% of it and someone has to start first. GOOD LUCK (little precious one comes 1st, with THIS there is NO compromise)
2007-12-30 07:48:06 · answer #1 · answered by Gardner? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell ya...I have a "friend" of mine that her husband is the same way. Get out now! The longer you continue the harder it will be later. He is using you in every sense of the word. If he is that hateful to you now he could become physically abusive later. It seems that he not only doesn't want to help with your daughter, but he may even resent her. If that is so he could become abusive to her in one or more ways later. Do you really want to take that chance. There ARE guys out there that will help take care of her and you at the same time and be more than willing to help you with her. Take it from me. I am 40 years old and have raised my step daughter since she was 5. She is now 18 and calls ME Daddy.
2007-12-30 07:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by dyllyn0513 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but it sounds like he's not invested in your relationship, or his parenting responsiblities. I think you should leave him if you can, or give him an ultimatum if you think you can change him. If he's been like this up to this point since your daughter has been born, then he won't change. And you never know, if you leave, he may just realize what he pushed you to do and make the choice to change for the better. But from this point of view, you and your daughter are better off being away from his negativity, because he's not teaching her to be a helpful human being, and that's something that's important to teach children. I wish you luck..
2007-12-30 07:39:01 · answer #3 · answered by lisarizer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you should leave him. He's not a good boyfriend, and it doesn't sound like he's ever gonna be your husband.
It's not safe for your little girl, and it's not healthy for you.
My cousin went through this kind of thing. Except she married the guy and waited 5 years before she tried to divorce him. He stalks her, calls her at home and leaves rude messages, and even kicked down her front door once. Luckily, their 6 year old daughter was not at home.
So get out of that relationship before it gets worse. He's a jerk and doesn't treat you the way you need to be treated.
Find a guy who doesn't put you down and wants you for more than sex. Find a guy that will help you take care of your little girl.
2007-12-30 07:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by Britt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you might need some counselling to get some good ideas. I have no idea how to handle that.
He's being really passive aggressive here. One way to approach it would be to act like he's not even around, and to deny him time to play with her until he learns to be a better father. He has to learn that taking care of children isn't just about playtime with them. Maybe if you did this over a few days or weeks, he would get the message to start helping out more.
2007-12-30 07:43:38 · answer #5 · answered by kim s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you've said, he isn't even acting like he cares enough about your relationship to bother considering your feelings.
You shouldn't stand for this treatment any longer. Forget talking to him about it, sit down in front of him and tell him you're tired of being treated the way he treats you and if he doesn't shape up, he needs to leave... but be prepared, because he might just pick up and leave that very day. You deserve better, so if he does, let him go.
2007-12-30 07:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you need to get down to it and discuss this problem. This is a problem. It may make you a bad mom to ignore your daughter but it also makes him a bad dad to ignore his daughters needs. I am so annoyed by his attitude.
Please take my advice- don't ask. Tell him....i am going for a bath now....i am going out...i am going on the treadmill....my suspicions are that he does this?
Urghhhh!!!!
Good luck Sweetie. Bring it up. If he is unwilling to talk- tell him not to come back. Don't just stay together for your daughter- my son is having problems because i did this for too long!
2007-12-30 07:43:01 · answer #7 · answered by AnneShirley03-03-07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me just say wanting what is best for your baby girl is very important. Next, I must say staying with this loser is not healthy for you or her, even if he is her dad. He is clearly showing you he has no interest in her and it sounds like he just does whatever he wants to. I know it must be difficult but if you really care about your daughter, I'd consider gettng away from this boy, because he is no man!
2007-12-30 07:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by gogogadgetlonglegs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is doing the absolute minimum. He has no interest in your daughter and it sounds like his interest in you is completely limited to sex. If he is the one paying the bills, you are in a loveless relationship at best. If you are paying the bills, you may as well throw him out if he won't do anything for his own child! Didn't he know you could get pregnant? Apparently he was not ready to pay the price.
2007-12-30 07:39:19 · answer #9 · answered by Amy R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he needs space. just leave him for a little while maybe go stay with your parents just so that you can both have a little time to breath and then before you move back in together meet up 4 lunch or something and discuss what you have realised whilst you have been away. just bare in mind if he doesn't change don't go back to him if you want to do what is best for you daughter! good luck
2007-12-30 07:38:16 · answer #10 · answered by tailette 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋