My husband is in the military and wants a divorce after 9 years. He my 5 kids and I needed to leave quarters.?

Question

Will I be able to stay in quarters until the divorce is final, and will I be able to recieve alimony I have had like 2 jobs in 9 years. and have not worked in the last like 7 years except like for maybe 6 months. I do not want a divorce and we are going through counseling. I do not think he is real serious about the counseling and just does not want any of the responsibility. I am not worried about custody, I do not know how I will support myself or my 3 choldren.

Answer 1

If he doesn't want to be with you any more, then start working to save money. Ask the judge for 12 months of alimony. That will give you some time to find a job and save even more money.

Answer 2

first of all, you are like i how i use to be, my hubby is in the military and i relied on him for everything. I also hadn't worked in a while. We have five kids together too. You should go to the jag office and ask about a divorce lawyer and stuff. You should still get alimony and child support. Now child support costs is a lot for military. Wlhat you should do between now and if the divorce comes is attend online college classes. You obviously have the internet, that's all you need. I attend online classes because the degrees are quicker to get and it works with my schedule. My husand and i have a rocky marriage because of him being gone all the time and when he is in the country, the family life scares him off. When he got back this last time, he had mentioned getting a divorce cause he couldn't handle the resposiblities of being a soldier and a father along with being a husband. I got smart. I enrolled in college classes, i will be getting my bachlors degree in psychology in a year. even though it's a slow process, he's going back to iraq in two months. By the time he comes back, if the situation occurs again and it does go as far as divorce, well i will be ready. I love him and all but i know i cant make him do things he doesn't want to do. Same goes for you, be prepared in case it does happen. If you do get a divorce, you willl struggle-know that. But start making plans for in case you do get a divorce that way you and your children arent' struggling as bad for as long. Hope this helps. by the way if you do decide to go with my opinion on college classes, i would suggest trying university of phoenix online classes. they have a really good educational system.

Answer 3

Retired military , in charge of about 120 soldiers
at one time, have heard all type of marriage
problems. Make sure you and your kids of age
have a military dependent I.D. card because
as long as you are UN-married you can still have
the card because of your kids and you will
not loose commissary or PX privileges or medical
either for your kids. Second pay a visit to JAG
(Judge Advocate Office) every Branch has one
and they are your legal advise of what you are
entitled to and will help you get an allotment that
is sent directly to you so as your kids will have
the financial support needed from their father.
The legal advise is free and you may not need
a lawyer if your Husband agrees to do what is
needed to support the kids. Last but not least
try and make the marriage work but if your hus-
band does not do his part then the marriage is
over. Move on and just get all the legal advise
you can get free by going to JAG as mentioned
above. Good luck.

Answer 4

you can stay in quarters up tell 30 days after the divorce is final.
Yes you will receive alimony in most states and yes you will get full military care and I.D. cards for your kids and services and can still use the base services.

You should ask one of the women's groups on base for wife's about how to keep your benefits intact for the kids, or go to a service officer at benefits offices.

You both will need counseling, and the military will cover the cost for both of you on base. This is considered medical and it is not part of his military record, but a divorce is.

When I was still in I saw a few men have to move back into the barracks because of a divorce. He will loose up to 75% of his military pay to support his kids and you from the military. He will get no off base housing expense, so he will be on base for 6 mos. before he can apply to move off unless he is over 4 years in service, then his CO can change that.

I recomend you and him together and seperately see military counseliors before this goes much futher and it effects his job and position and family.

Answer 5

Honey, you need a good diviorce lawyer. Someone here will probably know how the housing works, but if he is the one wanting the divorce and he intends to abandon you with the children, the lawyer needs to be sure there is a judgement for child support. Don't sign or agree to anything unless you have your own lawyer revew it first. If he wants a divorce, there does not appear to be any way to keep him, but the government is very good about making sure men in the military are not "dead-beat-dads" - they will garnish his wages if he does not pay the child support you need. Do not run off and get a job or make other arangements just yet - see what the lawyer recommends and listen to them.

Answer 6

This situation sucks.I can say that because Ive been in it.My husband went to Iraq and freaked out, told me he wanted a divorce and yadda yadda.
This was about a year ago.
We have 2 kids and i was a SAHM, I was scared but I learned that it wasnt a good example to act like a victim.I got up, dusted myself off, assumed he had went nuts and I left. I started a new life slowly. I went to school, got a good enough paying job, got an apartment and took care of my kids.What you need to do is call family advocacy on your post, tell them the situation and he will have to start paying "family support" they will proabably move him to the barracks at that time until your situation gets resolved. You can do this you just have to be strong..I promise.If you feel like talking or want more info from me email me at cherokee_pimpstress@yahoo

Answer 7

You have 5 kids or 3? Anyway, yes get an attorney as soon as possible. As to whether or not you may get alimony, it is not very common now days and varies from state to state. You also may need to move back closer to your own family for both emotional an initially financial support. One good thing about him being in the military is that he is easily found for garnishment of child support. Good luck!

Answer 8

You need to talk to a family law/divorce attorney. You should be able to collect alimony and child support. The court may be able to order your husband to pay at least a portion of your legal fees.

Answer 9

I'm sorry to hear that...

I also went through the same thing when my husband returned from Baghdad this April. We were even seperated for 6 months. We managed to work things out though.

I actually got help from The Fleet & Family Support Center
http://www.cnrsw.navy.mil/fsc/about_us.htm

They can help you with counseling as well. You both have to do your part if you really want to keep this marriage going.

I hope you live in housing....If you do, he has to go straight to the barracks, he can't kick you out.

If it ends...and I hope not....with him saying, I want a divorce, and that's final, and him leaving...The FFSC can help you get a free lawer, and they help you with at least starting some kind of support. You also need to head to Navy, Army, Marine, Legal.

You're going to need a lot of help from your friends and family as well. You're going to be going to a lot of appointments with the FFSC.

The FFSC will be in contact with his command as well. Once you call them and you make an appointment, they will give you and him both a seperate meeting session. And depending how good things are with you and him...or how bad...he would actually might have to attend some classes and so on. They will ask you..how your marriage is and was. And my advice to you is to tell them EVERYTHING.

Everything that I told them was the truth, and it did get my husband in trouble, to this day is still following him, but he learned his lesson.

I had to go back with family, wich was horrible for me, and later I regreted not putting more effort in my marriage and not seeking for more help through counseling, specially since it's free in the Military.

In the end my husband was the one who had to pay for a civilian lawer.....we almost divorced. And we were stationed in Pearl Harbor Hawaii at the time...wich was $320 of child support for each child. Since you don't want the Divorce he can't get free assistance through Military Legal because it has to be mutual, so he also has to get a Civilian Lawer, and It's going to cost him big time.

Keep going through the counceling....it's best to try, and give it your best shot. Even if he's not happy with it at this time. You have to make a change in your life at this time if you want to keep this marriage. Be more productive, keep the house clean, keep your children clean. Look your best.

Whatever it is...make it happen. Because sometimes we know what's causing the problem...yet we don't try to change it at all.

Best of Luck to you,
Lucy

Answer 10

I'm so sorry. Let me ask you do you have 5 children or 3? Have you sat down with him and asked him what you can do to make him want to stay? He needs to fight through this desire to divorce you. Generally speaking the person who is trying to get divorced is being self centered. Things have become routine and maybe both of you have taken each other for granted. Do you have anyone who can take your children for a couple of days? Maybe if you set up a nice weekend away, just the two of you, and reconnect you can rekindle the flame, so to speak. Please don't give up and ask him to not give up either. His kids need him! And they need him at home. This is going to really mess them up. He is going to have to man up and fight through all his selfish motives and do the right thing and stay married to you. A wise man once said, "the most important thing a man can do for his kids, is to love their mother."