My husband of 6 months asked me today how many guys I've been with. I'va always told him two, because that's what I consider. But there was a couple of drunken, black outs, that I think I might have have sex. I told him about them, wanting to be honest. And now he says he doesn't think the same of me...and he's bringing up every little mistake I've ever made. What do I do?
2007-12-30 07:28:35 · 33 answers · asked by anon. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has to remember that you married him and not the other guys!!! He is just being insecure and hopefully it will pass.
Try to give him some sincere encouragement when you make love. If he is the best you have been with, tell him! Let him know how wonderful he is and how happy you are to have found him. If you don't mean it then don't say it, but if you are crazy about him let it show.
He feels like you lied to him, but I can understand why you told him only two.
Does anyone know or remember if you did in fact have sex during those blackouts? A close girlfriend? I wouldn't really go looking too deep to find out, but a few discrete questions may help you answer some questions.
2007-12-30 07:43:42 · answer #1 · answered by kana121569 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't play his little Game
You Tell him Hey I know I wasn't your First And you Knew You Werent My First And Because i Made some Mistakes in the Past Doesn't Change the fact that I am the same person and if you can't deal To Damn Bad
I Mean Come On he's just trying to make you feel bad about yourself Don't Let him Win
And tell him Straight up i am not going to allow you to put me down or make me feel bad cause of My Past.
How Many Guys You were with before him Doesn't Matter.
Just tell him to Grow up and stop acting like a little kid and tell him that you aren't going to put up with every little mistake bieng thrown in your face cause you can't handle reality
Sounds tough But He's Trying to Control You and Look Cut You Down Girl Don't Let him
You Can't Control What he Thinks but you need to look out for you too
Never Let Anyone Cut you Down
2007-12-30 07:43:48 · answer #2 · answered by rebel_angel031 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
interesting seeing as you just got married... well, your past is your past. If he asked, he should be prepared for the answer. My guess is that he is just a wee bit jealous and weirded out that his wife has actually had a life before him. Let him calm down and realize, that you slept with these people before and you are the same person, now he just knows that you slept with them. Whats the difference? Seeing as he is bringing up every mistake you have made is pretty harsh. Sorry your a human being, with the ability to make choices that he may or may not like.
2007-12-30 07:33:45 · answer #3 · answered by lexa 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's not being reasonable. What matters is that you don't accidently give him a disease from previous partners. He also has a right to know if you have any STDs. Other than that, it's none of his damn business how many people you have been with.
Honesty is over-rated and not always appropriate. Some questions are not meant to be answered completely honestly.
It's not your problem that your husband feels insecure about your past. Don't apologize, try to make him feel better, or try to make it up to him.
Be kind, loving, and polite to him, but let him deal with his problem on his own!
2007-12-30 07:46:09 · answer #4 · answered by carobygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him get it out of his system. Then really ask him why it bothers him so much. Tell him y you ommitted such information. You fight fire with water,and if he really loves you for who you are, and not how many cars have been in your garage, then time should heal this wound. It's an ego thing...husbands always want to think and believe that they married a girl with "virtue" when it comes to sex. IT doesn't register to them that even though their beloved had others, she choose HIM to spend the rest of her life with and give her to him solely for that time. They also don't understand it when girls can't take that same explanation when a guy tells a woman how many he's been with and she freaks out. Good luck.
2007-12-30 07:40:15 · answer #5 · answered by Uncertain Soul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to back off. I would ask him what he is hiding. Why should it matter how many you were with. You married him. When you get married you are starting a life together. What was in the past is a different life!
Tell him you can throw a fit all you want, ask him do you want me to bring up all the things you have done in the past?
2007-12-30 07:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O lord what a baby lol!! Ok hunn I will be honest with you.. There is definatly something more beyond this question. It looks like you might have gotten yourself married to a very insecure man... and here is the bad news most men that ask these types are questions have monogamy issues... have you asked him the same question... chances are he was a but wild himself to... :o/ I don't want to bring any doubt to your marriage but you have to nip that situtaion in the but. Insecurity in a marriage so early like that means trouble if you do not handle it now!!
2007-12-30 07:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by NYCStar 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Six months and he is already cheating on you ? He has asked those questions in an attempt to soothe his guilty conscience. Only GD fools and a**holes dwell in past which by the way is *no* ones business. All that is necessary is after you two became a couple. I do believe he is cheating on you. GD, or your sake I hope I am wrong and he is dealing with a past guilt before you came along.
2007-12-30 07:34:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop telling him about who you slept with, that's never a good thing to do... on the other hand ask him how many girls he slept with, do you think that he will be honest in answering you. So he thinks less of you, tell him to grow up and get over it. Sh-it happens in life ,were all human and we all make mistakes. Just hope that hes not one of them....its in the past, leave it their.........
2007-12-30 07:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
On such a question, you SHOULD have asked his woman count......OR, that's in the past and does not involve our relationship. Some things are BEST left in the PAST.
Last resort, is to say you made it up to see his reaction. And since "you no longer value me, perhaps we should be talking divorce." I do believe that just may alter his thinking/actions.
2007-12-30 07:51:40 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋