Do you think there's much of a difference between what we want to say and what actually say?

Question

I'm really lonely a lot and it's been a while for me since i've had a date, it's been pretty much never that i've had a serious girlfriend and it's been a long time since i've had a casual girlfriend. I also don't always have people to hang out with all the time. I feel lonely sometimes because I'm really a great and interesting guy but so many people are missing out on me, and I'm going to waste. I often want to confide into people that i'm just lonely, that i need a friend, or maybe that i'm desperate, but desperation turns people off. Too often i feel like i can't say what i want to say, and it frustrates me to not be able to communicate. When I have one of those "moments" with a girl, that makes me thrilled beyond belief because i rarely have those, but to the girl, who is possibly prettier than I am, it's no big deal so i have to act like it's no big deal to me, because coming on too strong, is like the biggest sin. Or is depseration the least desirable thing in dating/social?

Answer 1

I think it would be helpful if you get out more in group settings. There are an endless number of opportunities to volunteer for different organizations. The people there are always grateful to have the help. Joining a group that has lots of volunteers in your age group might be good also. Maybe there's a group for shy or lonely people in your area. You can volunteer for more than one thing...so go crazy.

Being on a fundraising committee for almost any museum is a lot more fun than most people would guess. The people I have worked with have always been a fun group. When planning an event where other people will come to have fun you are always invited and there is usually a VIP party or some celebration for the volunteers.

Here's another secret: not nearly as many males as females volunteer at events like the one I am mentioning...less competition!

So get off the computer and get out in the real world. Practice getting rejected more frequently and it will become less of an issue. Plus you're one step closer to not being rejected.

Have a Happy New Year!

Answer 2

You make me cry. It seems you are a melanchoic. Get used to being solo and people will appreciate you because you are your self and not trying "desperately to be someone else.