I love her but I also would like to have kids. I do not know what is more important.
Thank you!
2007-12-30 07:05:46 · 20 answers · asked by ezns74 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you very much for your answers and friendly help. I will decide soon. You have helped me.
2008-01-02 08:33:17 · update #1
There is not only one best answer.
2008-01-02 08:34:19 · update #2
Seems if your asking this question you already have your answer. If you really wanted to spend your life with HER you wouldn't care, or would have worked out other options by now.
Don't marry her if you can't find peace with the knowledge that you won't have children of your own.
I'm not saying this to be cold, I just know I've spent my life with a man that didn't want children, said the one I had from my first husband was more then he wanted, for a long time I was ok with it, but there was a point that I REALLY resented him for not having another child. Don't live like that or put her through it either. It's not fair to either of you.
There are thousands of children that need loving parents, is that an option for you?
good luck
2007-12-30 07:22:28 · answer #1 · answered by vjustmehere 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you marry her, you will be upset that you did in the long run. The issue will come up, those feeling don't get buried away. Just because you love her doesn't mean you have to marry her. You have to put yourself first and know your priorities. This is why there are so many divorces. They find out too late they make the wrong decisions because you didn't want to hurt someone else's feelings. Easier said than done, but you need to move on if this is important to you. Find someone who does want children. Marriage is difficult on its own, why complicate it. And if you go ahead and marry her, live with your decision. Good luck!
2007-12-30 15:15:54 · answer #2 · answered by radbagm3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having kids is overrated. Not having children is something that nobody regrets. Just talk to some of your friends that are over 30 who have kids. They will set you straight on that one.
Just make sure she, or her family, does not dwell on it. I am Child-Free by choice, but not everyone I have dated is. My former spouse could not have any more children (and it is a good thing because she really sucked as a mother).
I had a vasectomy, and she had her tubes tied. She, and her family dogged me forever. They would say I was not a man because I didn't already have kids to bring into the family, and I was unwilling to make more. We finally ended up divorced over this.
2007-12-30 18:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by Marvin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This depends on your mind set, Is it more meaningful to have a biological child or would you be able to love an adopted child? If your "love" is unable to physically have children you can use your sperm with a donor egg and get a surrogate. In this modern times many things can be done. You have to search deep inside of you too see what's important to you...how knows maybe she is the one for you or maybe their is someone out there u have to find out.
2007-12-30 15:16:34 · answer #4 · answered by christine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone wants to tell you to adopt.
It is rather difficult to adopt a baby because the demand for young babies is so great.
You would have to decide if adopting a child that is older, like 5 to 10 years old appeals to you.
You have to explore within yourself your desire to have children, your would be wife's desire to have children, and what compromises you would have to make to have them.
If you marry her, and are unable to adopt, then what?
Would you be happy the rest of your life with no kids? or would you resent her because of it?
Hard questions, you have to find the answers to.
2007-12-30 15:17:24 · answer #5 · answered by Mr R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not she can have kids the question remains, "Does it make her less of a human being?". You can always adopt. If you won't marry her because she can't have children, then maybe you don't deserve the privilege of marrying her and enjoying a relationship with her.
2007-12-30 15:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by Zacklee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who's wife cannot become pregnant they have tried everything in the book but nothing works.
Many people simply adopt a child and grow to love them as their own. look at brad pat and angelina jolie.
I recommend you try alternative methods such as learning about eliminating or attaining a new and more realistic diet in her daily eating habits and last I would check my sperm count maybe its too low and its not her that cannot become pregnant maybe its you. In my friends case I believe his sperm count is too low due to all the alcohol he consumes, the guy's wife can't get pregnant and he wonders why.
2007-12-30 15:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by digitexter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to spend the rest of your life with her, then marry her. You can always adopt, hire a surrogate, or be foster parents. Just because she cannot have children does not mean you have no other options.
2007-12-30 15:09:21 · answer #8 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is her age? If she is < 25, I would say dont worry about it as she most likely will change over time... There are two types of women... Those who want kids, and those who will regret not having kids... :)
If she is "unable" to have children??.. No big deal... Just adopt. Meaning, do not leave her if you love her just because she is physically unable to have children. That would just not be cool...
2007-12-30 15:09:10 · answer #9 · answered by Tim J 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let my husband have her.... and you can have me. I want more kids.. he doesn't. Perfect match . ;)
However, on the serious side... I think if you want kids of your own, you will have to find another gal. You'll always want that from her... and it will become a big burden on your relationship.
Or, you can marry her and adopt a baby that has no parents.
2007-12-30 15:13:16 · answer #10 · answered by InnerBeauty28 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋