Ever since i saw his picture and got a reply back , i've been thinking about him. Its just been small talk between us. I am married. The thing of it is he is single and just got dumped, am i just adding to the fire by reconnecting with him? He sounded happy to hear from me. I asked if he remembered me and said "of course i do!" and listed some of the things i liked and did. The weird thing is, i didn't tell him i was married .He found that out through my profile. I felt awkward telling him i was happily married when he's telling me the girl he went out with after me, turned out to be a beast and recently he was jilted. I sent him a message telling him i need to stop contact because of how i feel. Then i sent him another one telling him i would like to keep in touch once in a while. Did i do the right thing?? Is it best to have no contact? Is he not saying much because i'm married? Its only small talk and nothing more.
2007-12-30 06:46:59 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I reckon he's not saying much because you are no longer available .. There was a time when you were an item, but that was ten years ago. Obviously a lot has happened since then, you got married !!
Then you have to recall why you actually split all those years ago, also remember, he's just split AGAIN ... ... Methinks you may be creating extra problems, not only for yourself but for both guys in question. I guess as long as he knows nothing's going to reverse the last ten years .. then there's no harm in talking. Trouble is, if your hubby finds out, how will you explain why you're suddenly talking to an ex?
It's down to you I guess, make sure you keep on top of the situ .. in situations like this it's quite easy to become irritable and start blaming your hubby or friends for silly little things ... be careful.
2007-12-30 06:57:30 · answer #1 · answered by ~☆ Petit ♥ Chou ☆~ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're not as happily married as you say....that or you just are getting bored.
Remember he's an old flame for a reason.
And things always look better from the other side of the fence. You also married you husband for a reason, right?
I'd say stop contact with this old flame, because this will inevitably become an affair and your marriage will be greatly hurt.
2007-12-30 14:51:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are happily married - do this : every time you think of this guy - think of your husband thinking of a old flame of his while married to you right now. and feel that way you do. I am sure that will keep your head straight - if it does not. Well, you may lose the best thing of your life for a quick fix and that guy maybe only using you to make him feel batter about his recently gone bad relationship. SOn't trust him - trust your heart and your heart says your happily married, anything else is just water unde the bridge
2007-12-30 14:52:00 · answer #3 · answered by justathought 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not even going to read the rest of your question. The first line is all I need. You are MARRIED. You stumbled on an old flame from 10 years ago? So, what!!! You are married...you are married...you are married. You made your choice. You decided to be married to one man...you cannot have your cake and eat it, too. It doesn't work that way. Even just thinking about it can constitute cheating, if you're not careful.
How would you feel if your husband did this to you?
2007-12-30 14:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Beth 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should not have to ask this question if you thought that what you were doing was right. You can and should stop thinking about this "old flame" or it will burn out you current happy marriage. So get with it. and ignore this "old flame " and his problem of bing jilted> Perhaps he deserves to be jilted Actually it is non of your business, and it is better for you to stay out of his life. Happy New Year .
2007-12-30 14:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by pooterilgatto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
" Its only small talk and nothing more"
Whats wrong with you ? Do you want more ? Of course its only small talk - he sounds like an honorable guy, he knows you're married, and he isnt going to cross any boundaries. If you want to stop thinking about him remind yourself why it didnt work out in the first place. Or spend some quality time with your husband. He's a big boy and can take care of himself. You are straddling a very dangerous boundary.
2007-12-30 14:53:14 · answer #6 · answered by cocovan 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i'm confused, if you are happily married, why are you contacting an old flame? does your husband know this guy? how would he feel if he knew you were communicating with him? if you feel this is wrong, then you should stop.... typically, when we have to ask the question "is this wrong", it is.... listen to your conscience, its there for a reason... if you cherish your marriage and family life, you should stay away from this old flame.... what caused the brakeup anyway?
2007-12-30 14:55:01 · answer #7 · answered by Avia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are heading for an affair and I think that this may be what you actually want, but you feel guilty about it. My wife did the exact same thing to me.
I am not going to tell you stop communicating with him, because I don't think that will work. I think you are too far gone already, but that's just mho.
2007-12-30 14:54:19 · answer #8 · answered by tinman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lots of times..small talk turns to more than that. Do you think your husband would approve? I think for now its best to stop all contact with him. How would you feel if your husband began to talk with a old flame of his?
2007-12-30 14:51:00 · answer #9 · answered by carriec 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cut off all contact with him right now! if your husband finds out, believe me- he will not think that it is small talk to talk to your ex...
2007-12-30 14:51:19 · answer #10 · answered by Blade 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋