i need ALOT of advice-please!!?

Question

i have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years-we have a little girl and our relationship-is not so good..he flirts and drools over other girls in front of me-puts me down about my weight and looks-ive changed my diet-ive been losing weight-maybe not in the right way-but im lsing it-honestly i need to know how i can emotionally DETACH myself from him-please can someone tell me how to do that-i would really appreciate that-i need to find a way to stop loving him so much and to stop worrying about how he feels about me -i really want to find a way i can just stop caring about him period.

Answer 1

I decided to read your previous posts to see what is in this relationship.
I hurt for you, I've been in there.

He has brought you to the point of contemplating suicide more than once. This man is Not going to change.

I left a man 5 years ago. There hasn't been a day go by that I haven't thought about him. Many times I have felt regret, but regret for what I wanted it to be, not what it really was.

All this time, even though he wanted me to come back, he is the only person in my life that yells at me.
I will never stop loving him, we are friends, but he can't change. He loves me too, but it has Always been dysfunctional.

From what you have said, he is abusive, degrading, and mean. He is Not going to give you the love you so desperately want and need.

It can be lonely, but I can say from experience that you will be much more at peace and relieved.

Once you get away from him, there will no one looking for any perceived fault to bring you pain and release hatred.

It will be hard for you to do it. You have been crying for help, or permission to do this for quite a long time.
You keep hoping that he will see what a good person you are, how much you try to make him happy.
But this kind of person is pathological and perverse. He gets some kind of thrill in making a woman hurt and grovel.

Even after you have escaped, you will want to think he will change. He may even beg and make hollow promises.

I'm Not trying to be mean or say bad things, just things you need to Listen to, things others have told you because you are a hurt one, one of us, one who needs help.

You probably can't stop loving him completely, but like others have said to this and previous times, you Have to look out for You and your Child. He is likely to abuse her too, emotionally, physically and even sexually if you Don't Go!

The best way is to go to a women's shelter. It's Safest, and they have classes, offer support. They will remind you why you left in those days when you feel wobbly.

think self- preservation, this of your little one!
It is worth it! I might be spiritually dead by now if i hadn't struck out on my own.

I can say that you must Do this!
You will do it, better to go sooner than after more damage is done.

Be Brave, and even if you look back, you will know you did what you had to.
Let us all know when you have made it!

Answer 2

I don't answer very many of these, so I hope this helps.

I'd recommend a couple of session of counseling, hon, to find out why you are so needy. Be aware that children change a relationship.... your cozy little romantic closeness is now over with a child. But he, from this posting, has yet to step to the plate to be a father to your daughter, and a real husband to you. And that is not fair to a kid who never asked to be brought into this world. A child has every right to parents who were prepared for the changes parenthood brings.... he wasn't, and neither were you... so some counseling would for sure be helpful.

We ought to teach this stuff in hs, but we don't, and as a public school teacher, my very deepest apologies... we have failed you, him, your marriage, and your child, and I am so, so sorry. And it is for sure our fault.

BUT it is YOUR fault, you do not get some help.

For sure continue your dieting, and get some help in that area as well.... as well, get into a gym program too. . For sure the two of you need a couples' session with a therapist, and for sure you each need to find out what it is to be a parent, and a spouse. If h's oooooogling over other women, and putting you down, he's still a baby, hon, still a baby... I'm hoping both of you together will see a therapist. And if he won't go with you, go yourself!!! Best $80 you will ever spend.

Hopes this helps.

Answer 3

This is sad. You are basing your relationship on outside beauty. The fact that you have a baby together will always be a factor, but your self esteem is not something you should compromise. We all make mistakes in our lives with different partners and you should view it as a lesson learned and what not to look for in someone else. Work on yourself and take care of your baby and things will fall into place. As far as getting over him, time heals all wounds. It's just a part of growing up! Good luck!

Answer 4

A part of you will always love him as He is the Father of your Child. However, if you can channel your emotions into something, like work, or a hobby, or even find a penpal. If you keep your focus on yourself and your daughter, you will soon find it much easier to detach from him. Keep reminding yourself of how disrespectful He really Is, and Tell yourself you won't "Settle" for Anything less than the Best !!! Don't be his Puppet a second longer.!!! Tap into your Inner Strength,and Pull yourself Up by your boot straps !! Your Daughter Needs YOU!!! Good Luck !!!

Answer 5

If he flirts with girls in front of you that is a complete disrespect. So I say you ignore him by doing the same thing he does you do to men and see how he's going to act. If he cares he will stop doing it himself. Put on an attiude like you don't care about him and this will get his attention. But first sit him down and try to talk to him about this rude behavior and how it bothers you. If neither of these things help then let him go and move on with your life o.k.!!!!

Answer 6

Give it time and you will start hating him. The way he puts you down, you should already not love him. He obviously doesn't care about your feelings. You need to get away from this selfish loser. Lose weight for yourself and no one else. Your life is what you make it, anything is possible. You have to change the path your on.

Answer 7

Don't worry about loving him so much. Love yourself first! Realize he himself is insecure. People who constantly have to put down other people are often insecure about themselves. Get help. See a counselor to work on your self esteem issues. And finally, you won't stop caring about him overnight. It will take time, but only with help and the support of family and friends. **You don't want your little girl growing up in this type of envirnment** If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for her.

Answer 8

If you are at a point where you just want to stop caring abt him then its best u break up with him or at least take some time off from relationship and see if u two want to get back again.

But if you would like to have him but just want him to be sensitive to u and stuff, then def tell him abt how he is damaging ur self esteem and ur relationship.

Answer 9

Eh! Whos gunna tell the police if youre courting! I propose you like who you like precise...you cant help that OR how old you're. as properly- its no longer unlawful thus far somebody youthful then you in the journey that your 18, that rule purely counts with intercourse..yet like i stated- whos gunna locate out? in case you like this female, decide for it one hundred%! identity like it if a guy grow to be courageous adequate to take a huge gamble with me. good success!