My finacee's father just died...?

Question

His whole family is really messed up. He shot himself and they had to find him. My finacee can't sleep, and when he does he has horrible nightmares. His whole family can't eat and they cry all the time. It's only been a few weeks, so im hopeing that it's normal. I've never had anyone close to me die so im not sure what to do or say... I'm just trying to be there for him. Any ideas of what could help?? Am i doing the right thing?? We're fighting too, and we usually don't. Is it because of the greif?? Should i ignore it? What should i do??

yeah, i guess i should say he snaps at me.. instead of fighting.. I try not to say anything mean back. sorry wrong words.

Answer 1

Just remember he is going threw a hard time right now. I would try to avoid any possible fights because he is going threw a hard enough time, it could very well be from him grieving. Just be there for him as much as you can. It is very normal to still be crying at this point.

Answer 2

Hug him alot,and just be there, one day he may want to talk about it. There's really nothing else you can say at this point past the very first "I'm sorry". In the past I've done things like this : clean up their house when you're over without them asking you to, do the dishes, bring food when you go over, etc. Its a horrible thing, but life has to go on. They're hurting badly right now, and might not be up to taking care of things that need taking care of (walking the dog, grocery shopping, etc). Just be there and help out, don't worry about what to say.

Answer 3

Instead of trying to constantly console him, work at making his life easier. If there's some little jobs he usually has to do, take care of it for him. Run errands for him. If he has less of that stuff on his mind, he'll be able to better work through the grieving process. I know it's hard to see him in pain, but you just have to let him grieve without being on top of him all the time. When it's all over, he'll be grateful to you for toughing it out.