Constantly Arguing... Advice needed.?

Question

My husband and I have our problems, like any other couple. But lately we have been arguing all the time! I am getting tired of it and it is effecting how I feel about my husband. I honestly am starting to dream about leaving him. Anything will turn into an argument with us.

I will admit that part of the problem is I resent my husband for alot of things, he has made alot of mistakes and he has hurt me alot. Any advice how to get past all of this? We cannot afford counceling (Medicaid got denied, which was our argument for today, since I am having ababy in 6 weeks and we have no insurance)

To the first person- We could afford the baby, but we had ALOT of unexpected bills come up in our business. Thats also part of the resentment I have towards him.

It is just recently we started arguing like this. We used to be so good together. We have been married 3 years.

Answer 1

wow, im currently in your exact shoes and i am constantly crying because of the mistakes my fiance has made...we argue every single day adn i can't take it anymore...im starting to get fed up! we seriously need counseling but he refuses and it is driving me crazy!

Answer 2

ALL married couples argue no matter how much "in love" they are. The man and the woman are two different people and not just because they are of a different gender from the other. Now I am not a counselor nor would I pretend to be one. Don't lose the LOVE that you have together. This is too special to throw away.

I will suggest to you some "positive" scriptures that will help you. What shall we then say to these things? If GOD be for us, WHO can be against us? - Romans 8:31. The Lord daily loadeth us with BENEFITS, even the GOD of our salvation. Selah. - Psalm 68:19. BEFORE you enter a room or a building, say quietly, "Peace Be To This House." - Luke 10:5. Those who are within those premises will be so about peace, that they won't know what to do. As you already know, the Lord's house is the Earth. If you respect it, it will totally respect you. Now for the BIG GUNS, read Psalm 35, on a daily basis to (Plead My Cause). This a very long-winded, powerful and worthwhile psalm. YOU MUST READ IT EVERY DAY! When you read it with sincerity and goodness in your heart, the Lord will hear you and respond favorably.

My beloved husband died over 20 years ago. I loved him devotedly then and my grown children and I, still love him. He always was loving to me. He was old-fashioned and brought me his check on each payday as well. He proved that he was loyal and that he loved me. I returned that affection.

I wish for you and your loved ones, a most prosperous, healthy, God-inspired, Happy New 2008.

P E A C E !!!

Answer 3

You expect too much from each other. You are most likely not being intimate which doesn't help. What can you do. First, it is not your husband, it is the situation you guys are in. Two, look at the real problem, example, bad decision. Why did it happen, what was the reasoning behind it, was it intentional or lack of common sense? Third, communicate the ramifications of that decision, what it will cost, how it will affect you, offer an alternative. This is too complicated to give a minute remedy. Click on avatar if you have a comment. Thinking about solutions is way better than running away, be reasonable and as practical as you can. Good luck

Answer 4

You guys need to stop argiung.It takes two to fight but it only takes one to stop.Fighting over stupid things is well,stupid.Me and my boyfriend almost broke up because of me starting stupid **** that wasen't even worth it.I learned how to calm down.You have to pick your battles.And you either have to decide to leave him or get over all this resentment that you have because it has really been effecting your marriage in a bad way.Try to do cute little stuff for eachother and appreciate it.I'm sure you're not dumb.Use common sense to figure out what you can do for your husband.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like you both are unhappy and under alot of stress. Communication and honesty is key in resolving any problems you face. You are really the only one that truly knows the depth of the problems and what they truly stem from. It's unfortunate that you are in situation where a child is in the equation.....but.....that's life. I don't have the best advice probably....but....all I can tell you is that YOU can change your life tomorrow if you WANT to. Try to get advice and support from friends, family....whoever you trust....and take one step at a time to improve your life.....whichever direction it takes....YOU have one life to live....LIVE IT .

Answer 6

I don't answer very many of these, but your problem is just about a formuna. "Nice marriage + pregnancy= arguments."

Sweetie, you went from being the huss, the sexy fox, the lusty bed partner to pregger lady, and housekeeper. And for him, he went from being the dude, the sex machine the man, the screwing king to father (almost) and provider. And no one told you that this would happen to your cozy little relationship, did they? Your little relationship turned 180 degrees!!!!!! All we get told is , "OHHHH we're gonna have a baaayyyyyybeeeee, ain't that sooo romantic???". and it isn't. You aren't what he married any longer, and he isn't what he was any longer, and the prospects of being a father with lower testasterone (he doesn't know that yet) is just the shocker. And so men run, or you do (some even go have affairs, and get some second lady preggers...) and/or argue as you are doing... and the troubles really start after the kid is born, and now this screaming third thing is in your relationship... you no longer get to think of each other, you have to get up, feed this kid, and he has to put up with your soon to happen changing moods... great, huh? So, hon, that is why you are arguing. And many couples separate after the child is born, because they have no idea what happened to their marriage. You said you are even "starting to dream about leaving him." --- typical

Kids are not bonding, hon, they are divisive--so, know that up front. And kids need to be planned for...lots of couples don't plan... not REALLY plan!!! And you two certainly did not. A child needs more than a full belly, a tv, a computer, games, and in hs, dope, and rap. How about money for symphony tickets, private music and art lessons, Karate, and summer camp, braces, and all the rest of that stuff....We ought to teach this stuff in hs, we don't. We ought to tell you that each kid will cost you $250,000 to age 18 and that is with no frills..And as a public school teacher, we have for sure failed you, him, your marriage and your soon to be child.
(The cost per child????That's why you see so many old folks at Wal-Mart as greeters.... they aren't there because they have nothing to do, they are there because they absolutely could not save enough money to put into IRA's to retire!!!!!!!!!!!)

And as a public school teacher, my apologies, really unfair to young parents who have no idea what is going to happen when kids enter their marriage. And for all of that my very deepest apologies... I am so, so, so sorry.
Heck, we don't even teach you how to shop for an appropriate spouse!!! (Look at all the abuse questions on here!!!!)

For sure you two do need counseling, but you have indicated that you cannot afford it... then find an aunt or wise lady in your circle of friends, and present your problems to that person. A minister usually as well has some training in this area.

You child deserves more than you each can give right now, but so what? It means that each of you step to the plate, learn to negotiate your differences without rage and resentment (we didn't teach you that either) and be parents to a child who never asked to be born. I promise you the worst life on this planet is to be a single mom.... ask any of them

You for sure love each other, but the arguing is erosive to your marriage(quick example in the art of negotiating without rage and resentment).... There is a whole lot of difference between, "Goddamn it George, I hate it when you just sit there all day and don't help me around the house watching football and drinking beer... Sh (it), I'd like to do something else that clean too. What a rat you are!" Gee, sweetie, I know this is Sunday, and I know that you want to watch football, but can we agree to sit down and figure out how we can clean this house before the game starts? I really need your help here." In the first one, it is all his fault, in the second you are not only claiming responsibility, but you wish to be part of the solution as well.... It's a trick we never teach kids in hs. And so what ends up is a situation of stress as you are having now, you fight like two three year olds.

You guys do indeed need someone to help you get your issues out there without trouncing on each other's egos, or you will each just become so resentful and "Pissssted off" that your marriage will not survive....

Get some help from somewhere, hon. And show this to your husband. I'm sure he has no idea what is happening to your relationship. Be strong, be great parents.

I hope this helps.

Answer 7

You guys need to sit and talk aout your problems then just drop them/ tell him how you feel/ and let him tell you how he feels/ You dont want to raise your baby with argueing and fighting in the house. You guys obviously got along at some point, so it is possible

Answer 8

1. Stop arguing. You control you. An argument takes 2 people, so stop it.
2. Quit getting knocked up when you can't afford it. Having a child is a choice. Quit making the wrong choices.
3. There is free counseling. Go to your local church.

Answer 9

Resentment is a huge thing. I am learning that myself right now. My marriage is going to fail - no doubt, because of resentments, harsh words, and unresolved issues. Resentment causes loss of sexual desire big time! You will stop wanting your husband, and why should you make him feel good, when he makes you feel so bad by arguing. Women are NOT like men, we just don't get a hard on and work it... it takes TONS more to move us along, so any guys who comment on this, if you don't know that by now, then grow up.

Please either AFFORD counseling to save your marriage, or get out of it.

Those are you only choices. if you stay, your feelings will get worse and you will feel like killing him. Please do something now. Men make their own trouble with their poor attitudes.

Answer 10

Read and have him read it as well
His needs, her needs
by Willard F Harley Jr