my moms best friend just recently had twins and she spends ALL her time around her best friend and her 3 kids. one of them is 4 years old and she talks about how she absolutley cant stand her, but she stays there anyways. my mom is never around me and when she is all she talks about is he rbest friends problems and her husband who is outcheating and never there for the kids and stuff. my mom even spent christmas, thanksgiving, and soon new years eve with her best friend!! then when shes home she talks about how her best friend is a ***** and stuff like that. since her best friends husband is out cheating thats her issue for marring him and having kids w/ him b/c he was cheating before they were married and had kids!! My mom had to raise me single he rwhole life and her friend has no reason why she cant. When will my mom be MY mom again and stop being THEIR 2nd mom whose uneeded!?!?!?!?!!
2007-12-30 02:38:18 · 19 answers · asked by happy camper♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can see ur point. Definitely try to get her 2 sit down, and just tell her how ur feeling. I mean, she IS ur mom, not theirs, ur rite. Let her kno wat she's doing is hurting u, and tell her how u want to spend more time 2gether. Hopefully she will be understanding and u guys can sort things out.
Good luck!
xoxo happy new years xoxo
<<3
2007-12-30 02:42:17 · answer #1 · answered by ♫♪ ki+k@+ b@r ♪♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOOW! Serious issue here! She even calls her friend a Queen Bee! Now it is not out of the normal for two friends to spend time together like that. My sister who is a single parent does something like that, but my niece is with her. That is wrong that she shuts you out. Your mom probably never really had a solid social relationship or for a long time. Now it that guy really that good looking, or your mom has eye problems?
Now sometimes friends need friends to get them off their feet. To get started all over again. People naturally are able to coop with issues like the one you are talking about, but some can not. Is she the delicate type? Than that is why your mom is helping her out. Probably the whole bee thing is out of frustration or something of that nature. Your mom does not have to like the kids, she is there for her friend, not kids. Though it would be nice for her to get along with all of them.
2007-12-30 10:50:51 · answer #2 · answered by Eron Arreola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to tell your mom how you feel camly and sincerely. Something like Mom I miss you and miss spending time with you. I would really like it if.....
Use "I" statements and not "you" as it may put her on the defensive.
You may have to tell her a few times, just keep trying. She my just be missing "adult" company and even as inappropriate as the situation appears it is her way of having adult companionship.
Share with her your day, worries or plans see if you can get her involved in your day.
Good luck and I hope your mom sees what she is missing buy not spending quality time with you. You seem like a bright young lady.
Last thought, do you have a school counselor, or family member you can talk to? Sometimes if you speak to them they can help you help your mom get a clue...
2007-12-30 10:55:15 · answer #3 · answered by experienced in life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom likes to feel needed. She feels like she is helping her best friend and that makes her feel good about herself. Maybe she thinks you don't need her much anymore because you are getting older and have your own friends. Tell her how you feel and let her know you need her. I think she will love knowing you need her Of course when she is home you need to spend some time with her so she will see that you like having her around.
2007-12-30 11:41:01 · answer #4 · answered by teacher 55 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not one person who needs help in this sad episode. First in the line must be you. The uncared person. Come to terms with situations. There are things we can't change; But we can change ourselves a lot more than we try others to change. Talk to your mother, tell her time is precious, though helping her friend with twins is a laudable gesture. Give her time to lessen dependency on her by her friend. Do not talk about people's problems beyond your ability. Wanting your mother to be with you and asking in this forum qualifies you to be an able person. Handle your mother with care she appears to need help as much as you do.
2007-12-30 10:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by wisma29 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her? Sit down with her and tell her how her not being there makes you really miss her and having her around. Tell her you feel she loves them more, or whatever it is you feel.
Tell her you send her mixed signals when she goes over there and then badmouths them when she comes back. Ask her if you and her can go do somethings and not have her life revolve around someone elses. Tell her you love her and want her back. It is ok to have a best friend and do things with, but please don't leave your own family out.
2007-12-30 10:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her!!! Try to not be defensive and just let her know that you miss her and want to have the relationship that you had before she started spending so much time at her friends.
Your mom is probably lonely. Try to help her by being there for her too.
2007-12-30 10:42:16 · answer #7 · answered by UrbanFarmer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your mom's priorities need to be more focused on her OWN family and not her best friends. Sorry you are getting neglected, try to spend time with your own friends and not let your mom's behavior affect you. Tell your mom you don't want to hear about her best friends life anymore, and tell her you want to spend more time with her. Good luck.
2007-12-30 11:07:15 · answer #8 · answered by Brittney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom will be your mom when she is happy and satisfied in herself. When you are unhappy and dissatified then only you talk about others to get some satisfaction out of there. I will make my mom my girlfriend in this situation until I (or Mom) find a good boy friend for her.
2007-12-30 10:54:34 · answer #9 · answered by imgudakesh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she stays around them because she's the one sleeping with her husband and this a good way for her to make sure everything stays screwed up on her friends end. So everything can be okay with her and the husband. Think about it !
2007-12-30 10:50:05 · answer #10 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋