hey i am getting divorced and he wont let me move back to florida with my daughter has anyone been in my shoe?

Question

I want to move back to florida were my family resides and to get away from my soon to be ex husband ,he is verbal abusive and controlling i am sure he will not let me take our daughter at the same time i am not going to stay here for another 12 years while he watches her grow ,i did tell him he can have her in the summers and holidays i am not trying to take her awayfrom him just want a better life, and i feel me being away from him will make me be more sain for my child i am very stressed he will be my black shadow ..Has anyone been thru this and what was the out come

Answer 1

The law on this is not black and white, but it is on your husband's side. YOU can go anywhere you want. Your child cannot. If you get custody, in most states, 3 I know for a fact, will not let the child reside outside of any county that borders the marital county. In our case, as well as my brother's case in another state, my wife's ex husband has us limited to within 100 miles or a 5 county radius, whichever is closer. This does not control you. YOU can go anywhere you please, but taking the child with you will require some serious proof of abuse against your husband. There are stipulations in some states that make exceptions and allow you to take the child anywhere you want. Going to college, getting a job, getting married, etc. I have yet to see any of these work. I am married, but I cannot move my family anywhere I wish. My family is all back in Ohio. My brother wanted to move to Texas from Kentucky and work for me, but his wife's ex husband has them in the same boat. One of the first things that will be asked of you is to show you cannot take the same college classes where you live, or, if you can get a comparable job in the same field where you live. If your answer to these have anything to do with the cost of college or that you can make more by taking the out-of-state job, those answers are not good enough and will be denied. Don't feel trapped. If you feel trapped, then by choosing to obtain primary custody, you have brought this trapped feeling on also. You can be as free as a bird if you want, but your husband has a right to have his child closeby. Even if he took your offer, IN MOST STATES, you would be responsible for 100% of the travel expenses in getting his child to him for visiation. If he is granted visitation of 3 days per week and every other weekend, for example, that will be alot of plane tickets. If you really want to go home that bad, give your husband custody of the child. Before you are led to believe I am a male pig, I will let you know, I am in the same swamp. I am 1049.6 miles from my nearest relative. I have a 2 year old in Texas, and I know there is only one way I could ever go home, and going home, or having some mythical idea that being back in Ohio will make me sane or make my life better... going home is out of the question if the only way I can do that is to give up my daughter. I will lead a miserable life before I will keep my child from her mother, or take her 1000 miles away, simply because we couldn't make it work. Think about you and your child, but also think about your husband. He is her father and always will be no matter what he puts you through. There is alot more than what you have told us I am sure, but what you do say is, you don't want him to watch her grow for the next 12 years. Don't take that away from him or you may be a grandmother in 10 years.

Answer 2

My ex sister in law wanted to move out of state (florida) because her new husband got a job in colorado. My brother said no and she gave custody to him. She had no other choice. A father has the right to see his child and be close to them. A mother also has that right. Move away, but just to another town farther, once your daughter is older maybe then you can move back to Florida. Don't deny her the right to see her father every other weekend. Stop thinking about yourself and think about her growing up without her dad.

Answer 3

I know a guy who married and had 3 children. She wanted to go back to California to where her family lived. He signed the rights over to her and to be able to take the 3 kids with her. He really misses them and sometimes when he is scheduled to get them over the summer, or Holidays, he can't because of certain reasons.

How old is your child? Do you think she would resent you by moving back and only having a phone Daddy? Make a list of the pros and cons. To me the children are top priority. He wishes he never signed them to be able to leave Indiana for California. It is too late. I wish you the best. May God Bless you with wisdom, good health, prosperity, and happiness in the coming years.

Answer 4

If you have a lawyer, see if this can be addressed before the divorce is final. Once that judge decrees no one can leave without another visit to the courthouse, things get much worse. You can't be forced to stay, but the battle will get uglier if you don't address it now. It appears you are very flexible on visitation allowances if you do move.

Good luck on this, but take a deep breath because most likely you will get a battle on this.

Answer 5

Yeah if your marriage is over, it's best if you get back to your family who can help you out.. Sooner of later you have to get on with your own life. It suck that he won't be able to his his daughter everyday, but this is the down side of divorce... I would go back to Florida if that where you feel comfortable, you can't really pick up the pieces of your life with him watching your every steps. Theres no law saying your not allowed to move with your daughter, and it sounds like the best choice...

Answer 6

Get your daughter involved...does she want to move? If not then you really need to stick it out...you really don;t have the right to move her so far from her dad. Maybe YOU should visit your family in Florida every summer and holiday...I don't mean to be harsh...I just really strongly disagree with seperating kids from their parents. She sounds old enough to have a say in this.

Answer 7

If he is a good father to her you should not take her away. She needs her father and a long distance relationship is very difficult for a child. My ex husband encouraged me to move closer to my family so they could help me raise our children. It let him off the hook but now they have basically no relationship with him.

Answer 8

Even writing a post like this if found by him can put you in danger. Be careful what you do if your in real danger a woman's instinct will kick in automatically so do what YOU have to do! You need to get away somehow from the violence FIRST. Then seek legal action through a attorney or advice from law enforcement.

Answer 9

first while the courts have been tending to order divorce couples to stay in the same state for the child best interest, they do allow mothers to move out of state when there is a valid reason, best bet is to talk to a lawyer

Answer 10

He is the father of your child and has rights to see her....however, if he is controlling and abusive, im sure he shows it to her as well...have her state her side, as to where she wants to reside, a clean start is often what is needed in these cases, no judge wants to see a child harmed in any way.... i do know there is no legal way for you to leave the state without his consent unless a higher authority intervenes... good luck...