Survey for Parents! Have You Ever Bribed Your Children?

Question

I want my son to play basketball this season. He is dead set against it. I told him if he decides to play I will buy him those really expensive basketball shoes. One to play in and one to practice in. So now he is thinking about it. He has played on several teams before but was easily discouraged because he did not get a lot of playing time.

He is an A student. He sings lead in the church choir and the school choir. I really dont have any problems of him other than being a goofey kid.

Last year I forced him to play football and he broke his arm. What would you do if you were his (single) mom.

BTW My son is 13yrs old 6'4" tall and a size 15 shoe.
(he just turned 13)

He will play basketball in the park but does not want to play on a team.
At All!!!

Answer 1

Whoa there Mom. Bribing, or as I like to call it: incentives, is ok for most things but to use it to make him play a physical sport that he is not interested in is crossingt he foul line. ESPECIALLY since he has already been hurt doing it! Shame on you, girl!

Now, as an experienced mother of 3, let me give you some insider tips on this:
A) Have the coach talk to him. I am sure the coach is drooling to get that boy on the team.

B) Point out that teachers are more likely to give a passing grade to an athelete (yeah it is not fair but it happens. It's the American way)

C) Cheerleaders. Point out that the cute girls are cheerleaders and they LOVE atheletes.

D) Cry. This is only effective on males until they are about 16. After that they get that macho man status and hide their sensitive side.

by the way, I have to ask, where do you find size 15 shoes and how many hundreds of dollars do they cost? My son wears a 13 and they are hard to find!

Answer 2

With that size, I'm sure a coach will try to talk him in to playing. Like they say, you can't coach height.
I don't force my boys to play. My oldest love sports, my youngest hates it. I will try to talk them into things, but not so much force or bribe.
My oldest (13) wasn't playing much the first couple of games and he was on the "B" team and wanted to quit. I explained that I invested the money for his shoes, and he was going to give it two weeks minimum. The second week he moved to "A" team and plays more than he probably wants to.
It might also help to get a male mentor involved in some of this (ie uncle, grandfather, teacher etc.). Sometimes boys have to hear it from another man before they believe it is a good idea.

Answer 3

I would not force him to play a sport he really did not have an interest in playing, And encourage what ever it is that he likes playing.
I have 4 children ages 28 to 8 and Some wanted to play sports while others liked being on the school chess team etc
I have really had them make there choices cause as you know sports can get expensive and i don't want to waste my money on something my kids have no interest in
I'm also a single parent

Answer 4

mine's 11, and sometimes I have to force him to go to tkd. but i wouldn't if he wasn't having fun when he got there. mine just thinks he's going to go home and play computer/nintendo.

last couple days right before xmas, could not get him there, no way no sir!

rewards are fine..but bribes won't do you (or him) any good.

If he enjoys playing basketball, let him have a hoop and play in the driveway/at school. If he really doesn't want to play on a team, I wouldn't push it.

He sounds like he's doing great in other areas. Let him be a kid mom.

Answer 5

Why do you want him to play basketball? Is there anything else that he could do that you would approve of. So he's tall, not all tall kids like to play basketball.

I do bribe my kids, but it's usually to get them to do the dishes or take out the garbage. Never something that mught injure them. I'm a single mom too, of four. I'd never want to make my kids do some activity that they really didn't want to do.

Answer 6

I would NEVER force one of my boys to play a sport if they didn't want to.

Your son is an "A" student and participates in 2 choirs....isn't that enough for you?

He seems content not to play sports, why force your child to do something they don't want to do?

It will only cause simmering resentment towards you, you know.

And why, oh why, do people think just because someone is tall they WANT to play basketball or that they should????

Answer 7

well for one thing just because he has the height and shoe size of a basketball player does not mean anything if he does not know how to play.

DO you really want to push your son this hard into this sport that you are willing to spend 300 on shoes just so that he can go sit on a bench because lets face it he is not going to really try he is only going to do it because mom forced him to.

Answer 8

I would encourage him to play basketball even though he may not be good at it. There are many life lessons that are learned in sports and struggling in sports will help him prepare for the struggles that life will surely hand him in the future. It will help build his character and reveal it as well. Bribe him if necessary and teach him to not to be a quitter, and to work for something. He will be a better man for doing this. And get him back on the football field too!

Answer 9

Yes, I have bribed my kids.

But I would never make one of my children engage in a sport they didn't want to be in. He probably didn't get a lot of playing time because he wasn't that good. Why humiliate him?
Be proud of what he does excel in. I would have been thrilled to have one of my kids get straight A's.

However, do what you want, this is just my opinion. I do realize he has to learn to be a team player at some point in his life--but at 13 he has time for that in a sport or activity of his choosing.

Answer 10

I have been a single mom before of 3 kids. I let my children play the sports that they want to play, not what I force them to play. I have bribed my kids before..." if they got a good report card they would get cash for it" or something like that. but never over a sport.