I feel sorry for the lady she knows nothing about this man. first off he was a hitter to all his ex's and he pulled out my hair and i had to wear wigs for 6 months. he is a alcoholic abuser. now my question is this lady knows nothing about him at all. the only way i know her number is because he called me once from the cell phone he gave to her to use. he don't even like her twins. and he owes like 45,000 to me and his ex wife. is it fair to know and not tell when her life could be in danger? even if she don't believe at least she has the option to deside for what she wants? his first wife no one ever seen only heard about. i am friends with wife number 2.....he beat on her too. my beating was not as bad only the one time hair pulling. but, what if she get killed i think i owe it to tell her and let her deside. is this a good idea or not? and give me some advise on how to do it. i know i have to wait tell he is at work cause i never know if he is setting there. thanks
2007-12-30 02:05:01 · 29 answers · asked by daisy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he sends money gram every sunday that is why i talk to him now and he wont touch me cause he left me of a dui and ran from the police jail time. so i am not afraid any more and i did stop the abuse and gave him jail time but he left over the dui and i was glad he left. dont want the looser back. so this it to help her. only...
2007-12-30 02:16:56 · update #1
i called her machine answered i didnot leave a message so if she calls me back i will say i thought he gave this phone to his sister and take it from there and it is my business when i know and do nothing to help her and i am not afraid of the looser anymore and i got his ex wife to back me up and there is proof she has police reports. as for me i do have one police report the night i put in jail so yes i feel in my heart to tell and at least try to help this lady she has young kids 12 year twins and what kind of mom would i be if he hurts them? she dont have to believe me just at least know who she is with...thanks i feel it is right thing to do. believe me i would not take this man back ever.....thanks
2007-12-30 02:25:21 · update #2
i am not driving 5 hours he lives in other state 5 hours away i am only calling her and see if she will believe me and take it from there i wont be stupid to go there.
thanks
2007-12-30 02:27:14 · update #3
they are not married.........
2007-12-30 02:30:15 · update #4
i never married the man either....we had 3 kids lived together for 7 years..
2007-12-30 02:30:52 · update #5
Even if you tell her, she's going to go back to him, and tell him what you said, then he's going to tell her that you're just jealous and you're trying to get back with him and she's going to ignore it. She's not going to leave him because of anything you say and telling her is only going to make you able to say "I told you so" once it does start and she has to leave. That's how women are. If she loves him, she'll believe anything he says over any other woman. Especially someone he was involved with beforehand.
2007-12-30 02:10:14 · answer #1 · answered by daeraelle 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A person who was abusive with you does not necessarily mean will be abusive to her. You should never tell her in my opinion. Because this will change her perspective they way she looks at him now. By doing this you could bring down the possiblity of a new successful or revised relationship. We are all grownup and have brains to recognize people and can measure his stupidity. Let her handle herself, if she was kid, then I would definitely inform her. If you are very good and really care for her and have time to do so then be her friend and without telling her that you know her husband you find out how much she is going through using indirect talk and an independent reference. Using independent incident similar to her might help her to open up with you and share her thoughts and then you could suggest her what could be better alternatives.
2007-12-30 10:27:44 · answer #2 · answered by imgudakesh 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Say something but BE CAREFUL, if you have proof and talk to wife #2 and if you have proof as far as physical evidence or something saying that you filed charges against him and he was guilty then it would be more believable. If you talk to her have her meet you somewhere DON'T go to the house where they live or he could come back from work early or something and it could get ugly. Talk to an officer what you are wanting to do and see what he or she has to say make sure that someone knows where you are going and what time you are going so that if for some reason something happens someone knows where you were at.
2007-12-30 10:24:25 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyGrl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
although you feel like telling this women the truth about this guy, your best bet is to leave things alone and let her find out on her own because the first thing she is going to say is that you don't know what your talking about and remain in complete denial until something happens to her first hand, unfortunately this is how reality works for some women, they have to figure things out on there own and you will just cause undo problems for yourself if you interfere.
2007-12-30 12:04:03 · answer #4 · answered by Rowan Red Tail Hawk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you still want to be involved one way or another. Stick your nose out of his business remember your not together anymore, I'm sure the lady is grown and can make or own decisions, when he beat you how many times did you press charges?
2007-12-30 10:14:58 · answer #5 · answered by rhtzzn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're going to say something, you AND the ex-wife should do it so that she'll believe you. But realize that she probably won't, and will have to figure it out on her own. If I were you, I'd also be afraid of the repercussions from him, as she will probably tell him that she spoke to you.
2007-12-30 10:10:37 · answer #6 · answered by justme 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would only do it IF:
1) you could show her PROOF such as a police report and police photos
2) you and your family would be safe from any retaliation he might want to carry out. I'm imagining he'll be very upset when he hears what you told her.
3) if you can relay the message to her in a loving, gentle tone....not in a "i'm just trying to get back at him" tone. she won't believe you if it just looks like you're still angry at him.
2007-12-30 10:12:34 · answer #7 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Being that he is an abuser...You should tell her....to save her life if nothing else...
She may not believe you...but at least you gave her fair warning...
To those that say MYOB...How would you feel if you had a loved one that was killed by a man that was an abuser....and an ex was willing to tell your loved one....but was told to mind her own business...East to say to MYOB when it doesn't affect you personally....
I think your motives for telling her on sincere....She has 2 children.....Would be a terrible thing for them to lose their mother....because someone wasn't willing to share important information about the man she was with.....Like I said...she may not believe you....but you will not have to live with any guilt for not letting her know....if something terrible should happen to her....
2007-12-30 10:10:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yes...by all means tell her.
The man I am with now is a manipulative, bitter, hateful, abusive, cheating SOB....and first chance I get, I'm going to tell his GF exactly what she's in for.
Isn't it nice how they show their best side until they have you hooked....then the asshole within comes out???
2007-12-30 11:50:25 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. GTO 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the other wifes, would have told you how mean he is, would you have believed them. Leave it alone. Some things are best left unsaid.
2007-12-30 17:50:59 · answer #10 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋