Adult children buying a house for their parents?

Question

I asked a question last night about my mother turning 60 and I have received wonderful and eye opening answers, thank you to all who took the time to answer.

My brother and I have been planing to buy a little house for our parents. For the past 35 years they have lived in a renting house and it has become too big and too expensive for them.

We want to do that well first because we love them and also because they worked so hard all their lives so we could go to University (both my parents only have a grade 6).

How would you feel if your children bought you a house? would you feel they're butting in your business, would you see it as charity or would you feel you're children doing it out of recognition and accept gladly?

They're so proud. We buy them airplane tickets to visit us and they have a hard time accepting them.

Answer 1

It's hard to know how people will react to generosity. It used to be that people were very reluctant to take from others, because it implied they were not able to support themselves and were therefore, failures. This must be a totally foreign concept to many people today, don't you think! For some people, "charity" was a dirty word, and they refused to accept that a gift came from someone's heart. You know your parents. Don't surprise them with a house. Tell them about your ideas and present it in a way that you think they'll accept. Perhaps they think they can afford to take part of the payments. You could do this for a while and take over the rest later. They have worked hard all their lives and that's where their pride is. Make sure they know that their hard work produced children that can afford to reward their parents. It's the fruits of their labor.

Answer 2

It's a wonderful idea BUT,you should talk about it with them before you do anything. At 60 years of age they may not want to mow a lawn, shovel snow and everything that goes with owning your own house ( even though they must have been doing it at the rented house ), perhaps a condo would be better.They should have say in what is bought and the fun of looking for it..It is a very generous gift and I know you mean well. You & your brother should sit down and tell them the reasons why you want to do this. I understand about they're being proud and that might make it harder for them to acccept but if you show them you can well afford it and want to do it out of love I think they will accept. Your just trying to make life a little easier for them . It's not charity it's an act of love and I commend you for wanting to help your parents

Answer 3

Sounds like they are very prideful people and don't like to
take what they consider charity. Or maybe they live well
enough they can afford to buy their own tickets, but don't
want to spend the money?
We rent also and are retired, and our rent takes up most
of our monthly expense. I would dearly love it if our daughter
would buy a property with a little guest house or something
similar in the back. But they have no desire to do that. And
it would be nice if they would tho. We could pay half of what
we pay now, and be able to have money left for the expenses
that tend to crop up, when we least expect it. It seems each
month, there is some new surprise to get something fixed.
So if someone were to give us a free or reduced cost little
house, I would sure take them up on that offer. It sure would
help us out each month, and maybe make things a bit easier.

Answer 4

It all depends on where you are planning on making the purchase and if they are ready to accept the downsize. You can discuss it with them and give the reasons and make sure they understand it is a gift in return for their sacrifices. Also, consult with a tax adviser for best way to do it. You may put them into a bracket they cannot afford if you put the deed in their name. Might want to set it up as part of a trust. Get their input as to what they would like. Most older people like a house big enough for the family to come home and visit and not feel crowded. Also don't get multistory since it is hard for older people to climb stairs.

Answer 5

I think it's a wonderful idea. Good on Ya! More young people should feel as you and your brother! They are obviously very proud people and, with good reason I might add. You will have to handle this as if it's just something that is just there for them to live in, as long as they live, it's called a life time estate if I'm not mistaken... If I could afford it there are many people I would do this for, including myself!!! Back in the day~~~~ families would live together for many generations, in Europe they still do. Homes are built onto and they care for their own as long as possible! Sadly, in this age and time, people are scattered and this is hardly possible and, not acceptable by many people's standards... it's the ME generation! With the exception of U!!! Bless you dear, and your brother also. If my kid's did something like this I'd drop dead from shock!!!! I love you for it!

Answer 6

Very thoughtful.
I think your parents absolutely must be consulted
first. At 60, it's time to start planning for a reduction in
stress and possessions .
Why not buy the house as an investment? Charge
your mom & dad a nominal rent, and ask them to move in and look after your investment. Perhaps a house that needs some fixing up would appeal to your dad.
Whatever you do, talk to them first.
You and your brother sound like the kids we all
would like to have. Good for you both.

Answer 7

all 3 of my adult children have in laws living with them, in fact one has the mom and dad in his home. I am the mom and I have a hud apartment and live on my own I am both younger and older than some of the 'laws'. I would say give your parents some cash to help out and let them stay where they are--60 is not ancient and I am older than that now. Or you could just pay their utilities and yard care so they don't see cash to debase them. Send them meats from Omaho Meats or order other perks for them and leave them in 'their' home. Best solution for all concerned, just my opinion.

Answer 8

You have to consider that if you buy them a house, are they going to be able to afford the upkeep, house insurance, property taxes, etc. I would definitely include your parents on talks of their housing arrangements, so you don't get stuck with a house they do not want. Maybe your brother and you could donate a monthly amount to help them. And, definitely find them a different place to rent if theirs has become so expensive. You have good intentions!! Your parents should be very proud to have children like your brother and yourself. Good Luck!

Answer 9

I would be proud of them for being able to afford it. It would be hard for me to accept, but I probably would. I would tell them how tremendously hurt your brother and you would be if they did not accept it. My uncle bought my grandparents a house, I thought that was the greatest thing in the world.

Answer 10

I have always had a hard time graciously accepting gifts from people but something like this from one of my children would be great. However, I would certainly like to be a part of the process.