What makes a woman a "mother"?: If she "bears" a child or if she "raises" a child ??

Question

I saw on tv a case, where after 8 years of raising their children, these women had to return their children because the babies were "switched" at birth by mistake, by incompetent hospital staff members ! Horrible and heartbreaking story but I think, I would fight to keep my child !! (These women, fought so too) but had to return the children to their original parents.

Answer 1

Anyone can bear a child, but the one who shapes the child in life is a true mother

Answer 2

Whose life has been torn up here? The child or the parent? The security of those children is sent into incredible turmoil from which they may never recover. I'm sure that both parents love their natural children but also love the switched child. Had this been discovered at 1 or 2 years it would be much easier for the child but now the scarring that will likely happen is horrendous.
To answer your question. Yes- she who gave birth to the child is the mother and Yes she who raised that child is also the mother. Legally, the court made the right decision, Morally, emotionally, personally- I don't think so. Each mother considered the child whom she raised to be her very own flesh and blood. As one of the other answerers said- I do hope these families can work together and mend as many broken lives as possible for the children's sake.

Answer 3

Wow! That would be absolutely heart wrenching! If it happened to myself and another mother I would make sure that my biological child is being raised in a great home with lots of love and everything else that he or she needs. I would hope the biological mother of the child I was raising would make sure of the same for her child. And considering the fact that neither of us would have the memories of our own child due to the fact that we hadn't raised them that we could come to an agreement to keep the ones we have and allow ourselves to become an extended family to see the other child and be a part of their life. That would be the only way to do it. I think it would be tough on the kids to understand the whole biological issues and they would probably be uncomfortable getting yanked out of the only life they have ever known.

There is a reason why the bracelets are to be put on the baby in the birth room immediately after birth.

I cannot even stand the thought of it! How devastating!!

Answer 4

that has got to be the absolute worst nightmare come true.
i have played that " she is a wild woman, must have been switched a birth" thing with my baby girl. if it were to be... omg.
i think i remember seeing a similar story like that.

a couple had a baby with dark hair and features, they were both very fair complected, they took their family in for DNA and found out that it was not their child. found their switched daughter after years, and switched back. i believe the families have become close since.

to answer your hard question, it seems that i would want the child i have raised, that is who i am the mother to.
especially after 8 years, it's really what is best for the child. that could cause some long term attachment issues that would break my heart for any baby to go through.

best case would be catching it early enough, or the families becoming extended families for the children's sake.

Answer 5

A mother is the one whom raises you through all the good times and bad times.Loves you the minute they know you are on your way.Is willing to give you up if you are financially strapped like a teen with no way to properly care for you.Giving you birth does not always qualify you as a mother.
It's when you give your all to raise a child and truley love the child.As for the ones whom can give up a child after eight years to a complete stranger just because of a switch at the hospital.They don't qualify.I would fight to keep my child with every nickel and dime I had.

Answer 6

Oh what a horrible case! well my opinion is that a real mother is not a woman who is able to bear childs (I mean how many times we have seen women being cruel with their OWN child? yes a lot of times but fortunately not most of the times), to me a REAL mother is a woman who is able to raise, educate, love, teach and enjoy a child it does not matter if the woman beared that child or not.
But I think this case is different because probably both women raised their childs very well the problem is the love they had for these childs.

Answer 7

That is beyond cruel!!!!
A mother is the woman who nurtures, supports and cares for a child.....
A mother gives all she has and then some more...
That makes my heart ache....
The fair thing to do would have been to give each mother visitation rights to the biological child and let them have a relationship, but the mother for the first 8 years of their life is their MOMMY...and always will be....
I have known women who cannot biologically have children...and they are some of the best mothers I know! Many of my friends have had to adopt to a Mom....and trust me when I say they are every bit as much a Mommy
I will say a prayer for those families, I cannot imagine the pain they are going through.....
Peace.

Answer 8

Am sure it hurt all the parties involved, but if it were me I would try to keep the child that you raised yes according to law a mother is the one that bears the child same goes for a man but remember this almost any woman can be a mother but not every woman can be a mom and the same goes for a man (any man can be a father but not every man can become a Dad)

Answer 9

Hi Clo

You have a lot of good answers, but there is only one answer for your question and it is; a mother is a mother for giving birth to the child forgo birth mother, but a mom is the one who raises the children with love and respect teaching them to love and respect all others. Keeping them healthy wealthy and wise, roof over their heads clothing on their back.
The same thing goes for men and father hood, any body can father a kid, but only a daddy can raise one.
So you decide which you think is the best answer for you r question, I know which answer I like, mine. ; )

Take care and have a safe and fantastic new years
Keep the Faith....cya....

Answer 10

ofcourse according to the law the the lady who gives birth is regarded as 'the mother' of the child. But I would say in the case u mentioned it is really traumatising, specially for the people who have looked for the child for 8 years and when they have part with it is horrible. I would have argued the 'real parents' to think form the childs prospective as well, will he able to deal with this situation .

Answer 11

Motherhood is a result of giving birth to a child. The dilemma that you have described is often suffered also by couples who foster children. When a mother wants her child back after being raised up by foster parents, is a sever blow to them. Motherhood does not necessarily mean love, as sadly we are hearing ever so often.