I'm not sure why, but, for practically 3 yrs. I won't allow my husband near me. I just keep eating & gaining weight. I found out he was collecting porn behind my back years ago I filed for divorce, but, we tried to work things out. Then , I found on my computers history, that he was looking for some one on one descreet sex, with Latino women. I left again.
We eventually, moved back in together, he stopped drinking for 15 months, I know, he is being faithful, but, I cannot, be intimate with him. I wish, I could, but, my self refuses too.
In the mean time he & I are both getting fatter, lazier, lethargic & eat all the time. No matter, how hard I try. I am so humiliated by my weight & his past. He swears he never cheated. But, I know he had too. I found, a womens I.D, who was our age, she was latino, in MY BACK YARD, under a rock. The I.D, had been bit in half, only her picture was left & the experation date, & DL#. It was dated for one month earlier. we lived there for 5 yrs.
2007-12-29 19:37:40 · 14 answers · asked by Sojourner 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forget about your relationship with him for the next few months and work on you. If you cut out foods with High Fructose corn syrup in them and dont change anything else you can lose about 30 pounds in 2 months. My sister did that. So if you do that and walk 30 minutes a day 4 days a week you will lose even more. Walking will also help your stress level. Think of it as being in training for an imagined Olympic marathon. While you walk think of a place youd love to be like a blue watered white sandy beach listening to the waves roll in.
Work on you and once you begin to lose weight you will feel better about yourself. Dont think about anything but that for now. Worry about the rest later. Like Scarlett O'Hara says...Ill worry about that tomorrow. Right now you need some peace of mind and confidence.
2007-12-29 19:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it looks like he's being unfaithful but if you want to continue this then why don't you do something about your weight? and he should too! It's not just about losing weight its about realizing you want to be committed to each other and that you are willing to work together to better your marriage. Going to the gym and eating right could be one of your many solutions. It seems that the weight issue is what may be affecting your relationship.
How do you expect him to be attracted to you if you won't even let him look at you? YOu are rejecting him for sex which is at the top of the list for men, so of course he's going to go somewhere else for it. Don't continue to go down the downward spiral. If you know what the problem is work together to resolve it. If not then just live with the fact of living an unhealthy emotional and physical life.
What is there to lose? Lose weight, feel good about yourself, share an activity with your husband, start a sex life, improve the relationship, good health? How is that bad?
From what you described it seems like you and your husband are self-sabotaging your relationship, don't you want to be happy? you deserve to be happy !
2007-12-30 03:47:50 · answer #2 · answered by Emi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, here's the thing. Are you doing anything to try and make the situation better or just sitting and eating and feeling miserable? Why not try? He sees you not trying, and after 3 years almost any man would be looking for some kind of release. You've pushed this guy to do the things he's doing and it's unfortunate for both of you. I think you 2 should sit down and work out something so you can get back to the way you 2 were before all this happened. It'll take hard work and determination from both of you but it can happen. Hope it works out.
2007-12-30 03:46:44 · answer #3 · answered by Chad 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You say you found out that your husband was looking at porn on the internet. I think you should have said to him that I want to see and enjoy with you. Also you won’t let your husband near you, bad move .That will make him look for sex outside, like with some Latino woman. Try to make your man happy ,not drive him away. If you can not be intimate with him who can and will? Open your mind and make it work, or you will end up in the divorce court. Ask yourself do love him or not?
2007-12-30 04:07:37 · answer #4 · answered by t Preston 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can change what you are doing. Get up off the couch and start walking around the neighborhood. You will have to start out slowly and build up. Every morning decide you will move more today. Join a heath spa, or buy an exercise DVD and get busy. Get some marriage counseling for your marital problems. If he has a drinking problem check out Alcoholics Anonymous and Ala-non. Life is short, stop putting it off and staying miserable.
You can do it. It gets easier and easier. You have to start though.
2007-12-30 03:50:42 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal for women to be worried about their weight... Whatever you do, don't go on a diet! They just make you gain more weight in the end. Try to eat healthy and get a pass to the gym. If you dont start feeling better about yourself and especially around your husband maybe you could consider seeing a family councilor.
2007-12-30 03:46:07 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly normal to not want to have sex when you are gaining weight. You need to stay fit and healthy. If you want to lose weight get a membership with a gym or do like I do get some Tibo tapes and work it out at home, but if you want to lose weight don't do it for him do it for yourself. You need to take sometime and concentrate on you. It seems you've been really stress out and taking it out on the food...Many women do that, I do that. Do you really want to be with him? He seems like he can't be trusted and he lost your trust long time ago. Trust and communication are 2 most important things in a marriage and right now it seems like that's not involved. Make your self happy, you have to believe you deserve that..
Good Luck & God Bless!!!!
2007-12-30 04:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by Love Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that overeating may be your way to "cope" with your unhappy marriage. I know this is hard to do, but perhaps you could get your husband and yourself to a sincere stocktaking of your marraige - not so much about the past but about the future. What do you want of each other? Why do you want (or not want) to be together? A counselor may help you get answers to these basic questions. Then you decide wat makes you less unhappy - staying with your husband or divorcing him. Once you have resolved that problem you will be wishing to look good again and will lose weight "automatically".
2007-12-30 05:30:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you? You expect your husband to do the twinkie? So you are full figure, you still function don't you? Let him, for Pete's sake! Give him a bj if he can't reach you down there, woman he is your husband! Turn the lights off but not him! Give him some tonight! Then work on your figure slowly. Good luck, man I can't believe this!
2007-12-30 03:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by Modern Man 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you wouldn't allow me near you, I would have a lover, too. The weight (unless you are a blimp) wouldn't bother me as much as no sex. How can you expect him to stay when you won't? Have a happy life and we will see you on the news as the woman taken to the hospital by fork lift.
2007-12-30 04:37:00 · answer #10 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋