My parents are about to divorse! what do i do to help stop being so upset?

Question

somebody give me plz some info on how to stop thinking bout and feeling so upset bout my parents divorse in a few months! (or weeks)

Answer 1

just remember u had nothing to do with it... and don't feel sorry

1. Realize that the chances of your parents getting back together are very, very slim.
2. Take advantage of therapy, if it's offered. Most likely, you can get it at school. Even if you don't think that you need it, go for a 3 month period. If you don't talk to someone, your feelings might overwhelm you.
3. Demand visitation rights. It is not your parents' choice if you do or do not see your other parent. It's just as important to see your mom as it is your dad, or vice versa.
4. Join an after school activity, such as music lessons or basketball, it will help take your mind off of stress. However, do not have one parent designated to paying for these activities or you may create more arguing. Have your parents split the costs.
5. Avoid getting in the middle. If your parent starts bashing the other in front of you, walk away. Defending might get you an argument, or make your parent think you're a brat to contradict them. walking away teaches them that you won't take it. Actions speak louder than words, anyway.
6. If a parent questions you about the other parent's personal business (taxes,paycheck,relationships,etc.) count to five and calmly state that that is personal and that if they want to know, they can ask. Remain loyal, if you tell things like that it might come back to haunt you (raise on paycheck might lead to an argument over "you got a raise, you can afford it, and I can't, so,...[et cetera]").
7. Stay away from arguments. If they start shouting at each other during a conference about some thing, leave the room and let them have it out. If things start to get violent, alert someone(neighbor, attorney,manager,police,etc) and stand in between them. That will stop the fighting. You. You are the only thing that matters to them. They will never let anything harm you. But that doesn't mean you're sacred, fury might blind them, be sure to have a way to dodge in case one of them makes a dive for the other(if they're that violent).
8. Jokes and Laughter are THE BEST ways to deal with a the stress involved in a divorce. Make sure you always talk and laugh with your friends.
9. It is NEVER your fault. Do not blame yourself for the divorce. That will just make things worse for you.


* Believe it or not, talking to a counselor will unleash a lot of emotions that might have stayed holed up inside of you. emotions that might have burst out at a later age and caused you to do irrational things.
* One way to tell if your parents have a chance of getting back together is how they announce it. If both parents have been in deep thought for several days, and both sit down in the living room to tell you that "Honey, I'm very sorry, but me and your mother are splitting" or something along the lines in a very low, calm voice, most likely your parents are never going to change. But, if your parents are arguing and one of them says something along the lines of "I'm never speaking to you again, I'm leaving for good, this time" and storms out, you have a better chance because your parent was angry when he or she said that, and anger causes people to be extreme.
* Though it is ultimately your parents' decision, the divorce does impact you, so your voice should be heard. Sometimes, all your parents need is another person to make them realize that they are still in love. However, accept that no matter what you do or say your parents may have reached a point where trust has been broken and no amount of talking or counseling will fix the problem. Know that you are not the cause and just because they can't live together doesn't mean they don't love you. Many times parents actually get along better not living in the same house.
* Love your parents no matter what decision they make. Remember, you will someday make life choices they may not like and may cause them distress as well - you will want their understanding and support then just like they need yours now.
* Don't ever be embarassed of a divorce in your family. Unfortunately, divorces are more common now than long-term marriages so you may know many kids at school whose parents have divorced too.
* Understand that probably sometime in the future your mom or dad may get married to another person. Don't expect for things to go smoothly all the time. And who knows? Maybe you'll actually like your new stepparent! Either way, everyone knows that no one will replace your original parent.
* If either of your parents are abusive, be aware that this is the first priority. Get help.
* Don't ever think that the divorce is your fault.


* Step-parents might not stop fighting as readily as your natural parents. Fights between them are easier solved by waiting for help.
* Sometimes after a divorce when one parent moves out and you take turns visiting each of them, problems can arise. One parent may ask you questions about how the other parent is doing and expect you to be a messenger or spy. Also, one parent may talk bad or say untrue things about the other parent. If this is the case, you need to talk to both of them about how you feel.
* At some point during this ordeal, drugs and alcohol may seem to be a nice way out. Wrong! They provided temporary relief and many, many more problems.

Answer 2

Realize that there are much worse things that could happen in life than that. Make a list of things you are thankful for. Sometime you may forget all of the great things you have in life because you get distracted by something like this. ask yourself, will you really love them any less because of this, No I dont think you will. Respect there decision and be happy for them. Remember, You cant change the past but you most definitely write the future.

Answer 3

That is so horrible. Im very sorry. Parents should stay together. Its natural for you to want them together, its natural to feel so much pain if they separate. This shouldnt happen at all, but it happens so much these days. Lpve is still the highest value, please dont get bitter even though in truth your parents have both let you down. You are just going to have to try to be better than the rubbish many adults engage in these days, and be better when you are an adult. Both still love you, you will see them both, Big hug and God Bless.

Answer 4

Your parents love you. I know you're having a hard time with the divorce, but believe me they are too. Talk to your parents, express that you're upset but you understand. If you don't understand they'll explain it to you. Most of the time divorces are for the best, both your mom and dad can finally be happy.
Communication is the key.....

Answer 5

accept the fact is the best advice, but i'm sure everyone else told you that. the fact is that they're going to do the deed whether your there and you approve or not. it isn't going to be easy but think about the consequences. a life living with someone you hate.

Answer 6

1. Learn to spell.
2. Seek therapy.
3. Talk to your parents.

Answer 7

you have to remember that your parents are divorcing each other,not you.And that they both love you,and want the best for you.Maybe you could talk to your school counselor about how you feel.

Answer 8

MAKE THEM GET TOGETHER AGAIN! AND IF IT DON'T WORK GO TO A FRIEND'S HOUSE FOR 1 WEEK OR 2.

Answer 9

just know that your parents will always love you no matter what! Its hard but it will get easier with time.

Answer 10

Get some counseling, you are grieving.