i am honest here, i do not want any children. they are too much for me to handle, i cant imagine having such a responsbility, and i love my freedom. i want to travel a lot when i get older. however, i would like to have a nice marriage and soul mate future husband....everything that comes with marriage except children.
all the guys i have liked and been with, they have all said they wanted children in the future. that is very discouraging for me, because lets just say i stayed with such a guy, i would feel forced to have children simply to please him....and i would never stay with a guy who wants children that i wouldnt give to him, i wouldnt be able to stand the guilt. the truth is, i dont want any kids. it seems as though every guy wants kids...i dont think i might ever find a guy who doesnt want children.
what do you think?? has anybody else experiencd this??
2007-12-29 18:46:08 · 23 answers · asked by ILoveGreen ZipZapZop 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
**note: maybe some of you will notice i asked this question in another category, but i thought i would ask it in another seemingly appropriate one. sorry. i dont mean to annoy anybody plz.
2007-12-29 18:47:45 · update #1
hola jenniferm, la verdad que no sabria que desirte
2007-12-30 18:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to find someone, depending on your age. I'm 30 have never wanted kids so I have avoided marriage because like you said, after a while it kinda seems like you would be expected to have children. I too would feel bad holding back someome from something they really want with me being the only person to give it to them. I've lost 2 long term boyfriends over this issue. I would prefer to retain my carefree lifestyle and travel as I have been while I watched all my friends, get married, have kids, and be stuck at home. I think the older people get the more they let go of it and shift their priorities to something else. Many couples who marry later just skip having kids. I guess that's what will happen to me, or I'll end up dating older men. It's hard to find sometimes, but there's someone for everyone. Surely there some men out there who value freedom as much as we do!
2007-12-30 03:08:18 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at this time last year, I was partyin and having a good time with friends living the single life and stuff. I had my own place, a nice car, a very good job but now i am newlywed and married also 4 months pregnant, I am now a housewife and I live in Japan with my husband. I think sometimes that I moved too fast and I am not too thrilled being pregnant because I never thought I would be a parent. I know exactly how you feel but hold onto the single life as long as you can. My husband told me we would wait a few years to have kids and he didnt want any right now but when I popped preggers he was the first one cheering!!!!! Men say they dont want kids but they lie. You can find someone to marry and settle down with but on the same token, be careful to choose wisely because they say they dont want kids, but end up with a pregnant belly like me.
I dont regret it, I am just shocked at what can happen in 1 years time and how drastic life can change. Take your time, trust me... I used to be JUST LIKE YOU!!!
2007-12-30 03:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are, but these days, I know many men who do not seem to be interested in children. A lot of them are in their late twenties or early thirties. I also know quite a few men that are in their mid 40's and 50's that do not have their own children, but have married women that had children already.
I see more and more couples not having children these days. I definitely think you can find a man that does not want to have children. Don't give up.
More than anything do not have kids if you don't want them. That is not fair to you or your children. some people were not meant to be parents and they know it. There is nothing wrong with it either.
2007-12-30 03:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by Karen H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is your choice if you want children or not. If you are with someone for a long time and that person all of a sudden want kids, tell him how you feel. If he don't like your decision about not wanting any kids, just break up with him. It will hurt and you will recover and find a man who don't want kids. You will make the right choice. Right now, the way my life is going, I'm starting to think that I should not have kids.
2007-12-30 08:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by fayt84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't be. I don't want children either. It's probably the kind of person I am and the kind of persons that I dated, but never had I dated a man that would admit to me that he wanted children. Of course, if you're looking for your dates in a church, you're going to find a lot of brainless traditionalists who will be shocked at the idea that women are not merely vessels for breeding.
Be upfront with the fact that you don't want children and if a man chooses to stay with you anyways, let that be his choice. Don't ever have children just because you feel obligated to. That's not fair to yourself, your kids or the idiot who was stupid enough to knock you up.
2007-12-30 03:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they are out there. Be careful though that he doesn't change his mind later on. When I met my husband, he did not want to get married or have any more children (he already had a daughter) Now we are happily married and have just had a beautiful baby boy in April who we absolutely adore.
Be doubly sure he will not change his mind later and then you will feel pressured to have a child.
Good luck and happy travels to you when you finally catch that travel bug :)
2007-12-30 03:09:16 · answer #7 · answered by Onyx ♠ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's someone for everyone..
There are lots of men that don't want children. Not having children is not a bad thing, just because you get married doesn't mean you are obligated to have children.
I don't think it will be difficult to find a man, don't rush it Mr Right will come along....Good Luck
***Don't think people on here get annoyed by your questions because frankly they could have past it, but most of them just wants the points.
2007-12-30 03:56:55 · answer #8 · answered by Love Angel 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, but most of them will be older men that already have kids that are older or grown. You can try a matching service like eharmony or equallyyoked or great expectations. You may find someone more your age there but if you could or do find older men attractive (Catherine Zeta-Jones -35- married Michael Douglas - 65) then you could easily find someone who didn't want MORE kids. Personnally, I don't but I am 50 & married. Of course, if you want to travel then older men may be right down your alley since they already have careers and money and are ready to retire and travel. Just keep plenty of viagra handy.
2007-12-30 03:00:56 · answer #9 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i share yr sentiments...i cant stand the commitment and obligation from having a child...it means lots of sacrifices and most importantly i dun think i can be a good mother. Nevertheless, i believed we are not the only ones who has such thinking...i think there are guys out there who share the same thought...be hopeful...
2007-12-30 02:52:13 · answer #10 · answered by Blues 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, is possible but rare I think. I go from 70% of the time I don't and 30% of the time I do - I love my freedom too. Would depend on the guy!
2007-12-30 02:53:20 · answer #11 · answered by Charlene 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋