After my miscarriage in September it was really hard for me.. boyfriend took it pretty well but I went into a deep depression and have since apologized profusely to him for ways I may have acted. Now I'm pregnant again and he's told me that he dreads spending the rest of his life with me (i was being a little hormone crazy) and after my u/s he said he didnt want to have a baby with me. he has been going out all day and night and not letting me come since we found out (about 3 weeks ago) and last weekend he (for the first time in our 5 years of being together) left me home without the car and didnt call or show up all weekend (we werent fighting or anything.. it was just random). i love my little baby but i feel so crazy and broken and im starting to get really depressed again and i dont know what to do. I don't have anyone to talk to since I decided not to tell anyone about the pregnancy until i hear a heartbeat...
2007-12-29 17:29:02 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You poor girl!
Personally, I don't think I'd stay with him if he's going to be like that. And he even said he dreads being with you. You don't need that! You should be with someone who actually wants to be with you. Good luck!
2007-12-29 17:33:50 · answer #1 · answered by miss.bowman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he dreads spending the rest of his life with you. he said he didn't want to have a baby with you. OK there a red light should go off that he is crazy in the beginning when your lost the first baby he should have had better communicating with you about that type of stuff. if you have a miscarriage with this baby then i think maybe you guys should try and talk it out, well since you haven't hurd the heart beat yet you really are not sure if it there is or not i think you should probably make an appointment with a doctor and get that stuff checked out, now about your husband i think you two need to have a serious talk about if the baby does come what is going to happen because if what you say is right and he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with you then you should probably have all the marriage stuff cleared before the baby gets hear, maybe you guys could get counseling or something like that, just remember if the baby is a thing, a little human inside you and its not a false alarm then you guys arnt just dealing With yourselves you are dealing with a whole nother human being and in the end if you decide you don't want the baby there are ways to take care of it immediately or there all ways is adoptshion witch ever way is best for you...
best of luck and if you ever need anyone to talk to I'm hear.
2007-12-29 17:49:52 · answer #2 · answered by me. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hearing he took the miscarriage 'pretty well' is a sign he may not of been ready for the baby. Why would he make you pregnant again if he 'dreads spending the rest of his life with you'?
He sound irresponsible and too immature to be a father and isn't good enough for you. If he is going to leave you alone with a car and doesn't contact you, imagine what his behaviour will be like when the baby is born?
It's hard to know what he is thinking without knowing you both, but perhaps you can show him you're strong and independent and you'll do fine without him, because it sounds like he's playing games to bully you into aborting. If he sees you as a strong individual, it may make him realise you're still the person he fell in love with, five years is a long time, but only stay with him if you love him and think the environment is fit for your baby.
Kind Regards and all the best. :D
2007-12-29 17:40:56 · answer #3 · answered by montanasamra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for your loss in September. I understand your hormones going a bit nuts and the depression that you felt from that loss. Saying that, congratulations on this new miracle growing inside of you. It sounds as if your boyfriend might be a bit scared. Scared that history might repeat itself. Up to this point has he always been supportive and loving? Sometimes men act like little boys and say and do things that they later regret. Maybe the two of you could sit down and talk about the baby and also grieve together for the child you lost together. If he has always been this way towards you then I would say he probably isn't good for you and you might want to talk with someone who perhaps knows the two of you and get some advice. Also, tell your friends, family about your pregnancy. I miscarried 2 years ago and 3 weeks ago I gave birth to a baby boy. I was very worried my entire pregnancy about losing him and couldn't enjoy the pregnancy until I held him in my arms. You too will hold your new baby in your arms and it will be amazing. Also, talk with your doctor about your feelings. They are aware of the changes we as pregnant women go through and can put you in touch with a support group, etc. Good luck and congratulations. And if at any time you feel scared then please get help right away.
2007-12-29 17:45:39 · answer #4 · answered by liesa90 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry sweetheart.
The fact that he's acting the way he is, is most likely because he not only might have been as upset as you about the loss of your child, (even if he didn't show it outwardly) but also because even if someone loves you, it's hard to cope with someone else's problem. It's not your fault at all, but I'm sure that the loss of the child and your emotional state put allot of stress on him as well.
The strain on the relationship may be fixable. It sounds like things have gone to far, though, and you might not be able to fix things.
You need to find someone to talk to. Family and friends are a good support system, but at this point you need someone who has professional experience at dealing with the loss of children.
The fact that your not only depressed (which is normal and understandable) but that your also pregnant, and your hormones are haywire, is cause for concern.
Please see your doctor, and tell him about your problems. Ask him to direct you to programs in your area that can help you
I have had 4 miscarriages last year.
2007-12-29 17:54:29 · answer #5 · answered by loquitaamericana 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's found someone else. It's time to move on. Do you have any supportive friends or family? I'd go to stay with them during this time. Something similar happened to my Aunt and she sought out relatives for emotional support. If the place you're living in is in your name, then give him a deadline to collect his stuff and move out. Get some friends or family to set you up in a new place, away from him. If it's not, then get some family to help pack up your things. You need a man who's loving, caring, and understanding. This man is not. Sadly, it''s time to move on. Leave him a note, saying you've moved out and once the child is born, he'll be notified with a bill for child support.
You have a sweet, beautiful little miracle alive inside you and they come first. They deserve a father who will love them unconditionally.
God Bless
2007-12-29 17:50:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him the door, then tell him to remember that he'll have to pay child support! You don't need more stress added on top of the normal stresses of pregnancy.
2007-12-29 17:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds like a real a**hole. I would leave him immdeiately and then make sure you get child support from him.
2007-12-29 17:40:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋