One of my friend's sisters gave birth to a little girl 7 months ago. I think she is a beautiful baby, but the medical problems that she has are unbelievable.
She is deaf and blind, her brain is malformed so it is essentially only a shell surrounding fluid. She must go to the doctor for weekly injections of a growth hormone, because her body is not producing it, and she is expected to need a liver transplant within the next year.
Her mother had 7 miscarriages before having her, and was told by the doctors that the likelihood of her having a healthy child were slim to none. She herself had to recieve hormone injections during pregnancy because her body was rejecting the baby.
She is now planning to place her child for adoption, but she plans to try having another baby. Does anyone else see this as completely wrong?
This whole situation has me really upset right now. I would honestly tie her tubes myself if she were here...
What do you think?
2007-12-29 17:03:00 · 21 answers · asked by Ayawi 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
"Does anyone else see this as completely wrong?"
That might even be putting it mildly...
2007-12-29 17:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 2⤋
Oh my goodness. Where to start... I don't know which is worse, the adoption of the first child or her plan to have another child after she rids of the first one. If the second one is born with similar problems, will it also be put up for adoption? In all likelihood, the child will end up in permanent foster care or a nursing home because as wonderful and generous as some people are, I don't know how many would take on such a challenge on purpose. I think there are 3 ethical choices in this situation. 1: Keep the first child and do not have another. 2: Keep the child and plan to have another and hope for the best, knowing you may end up with 2 disabled children to care for. 3: Give the first child up for adoption and accept that she is not going to be a mother to any children.
2007-12-30 01:11:03 · answer #2 · answered by Amy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a very hard/serious question... First off, it depends on the family's situation of your friend's sister... She has to ask herself questions such as...
Can she afford the medical bills that are expected to come in the future?
Will she put forth all her love and energy for the baby?
It may be wrong to give up the child, but for the child's sake, if the mother is going to treat this child any less than her own, then she should not keep it. However, giving it up for adoption may not be the best solution because I don't know if anyone would adopt a child with so many medical issues.
However, if the mother is just going to give up her children that easily because of deformities, SHE SHOULD NOT TRY TO HAVE MORE CHILDREN ESPECIALLY IF THE CHANCES ARE VERY SLIM OF HER HAVING A HEALTHY BABY. CHILDREN ARE NOT TRIAL AND ERRORS!
2007-12-30 01:09:30 · answer #3 · answered by nuttss 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The poor little thing! I couldn't imagine having to go through all that.
I agree with you...I don't think she should be having any more children. Honestly...how many miscarriages is it going to take to knock some sense into her? Not to be rude..but really.
If I were to have a baby with that many problems, I'd be an emotional wreck. I wouldn't, however, be planning on another baby right after deciding to give up the latest one for adoption.
You really have to wonder about some people..
2007-12-30 01:10:00 · answer #4 · answered by miss.bowman 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that's wrong. i tried for almost 2 years to have a baby. she was completely healthy, but if she had been born with a disability, malformation, or any other problem, i sure as hell would not get rid of her. especially after all the nights i spent crying myself to sleep because i thought i was barren. and if i were her and i did decided not to keep the baby, and i knew there was even the slightest chance that another baby would come out the same way, i would definitely get fixed. i probably would anyways, because i wouldn't want to bring a baby in this world just so they could suffer through surgeries and weekly injections unless i had no idea my baby was going to come out like that. you know, if she had decided that she wanted to keep and love that baby, and that she could handle taking care of another baby like that, then there would be no problem with her having another baby. that's awful. i hope God blesses that beautiful little girl with wonderful, loving parents who deserve her.
2007-12-30 01:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by lizbriolly's mommy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your are right about this being wrong. This is one of the most horrible things I have ever heard. How can she just give up her child because she has a problem... and on top of that she knew that it was gonna be this way? She should be looking into adopting not giving her child up for aoption. Its one thing to try and bet the odds but its another if the odds won and you decide to take the chicken poop way out!!!
2007-12-30 01:12:25 · answer #6 · answered by Brooke B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh is all I can say right now. The thing that bugs me is her wanting to have another, does she think she messed this time up, thats sad. It is her choice, but I think her choice is wrong. I have a child with special needs and can't imagine for one second giving him up for adoption, I love him so much and he has greatly blessed my life. That baby is in my prayers. I know that the mother is going through a lot, but I just can't phatham getting rid of a child because something is wrong and then trying for another.
2007-12-30 01:08:38 · answer #7 · answered by Tracy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How sad to be given away for health problems that aren't your fault. That poor baby!! Your friend should be grateful to have a child after all those miscarriages, but then again, if she would be a bad mom, maybe adopting out the baby IS the best course of action.
Sad all around.
2007-12-30 01:10:34 · answer #8 · answered by Irritated Lactivist 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people aren't capable of dealing with a child that has special needs. It seems selfish doesn't it that she would giver her up, but I am going to take the devils advocate position. If this woman doesn't feel she's able to care for, or doesn't even want to care for her, why would we want that child to remain in that environment. More then likely the people that would adopt her, would be people trained specially for special needs children, and wouldn't she get better care with someone that WANTS to take care of her, rather then someone who really doesn't?
Some people can't possibly understand how to take care of a child that has special needs like that, and I would rather see someone who WANTS to do it, help the child rather then her "mother" who doesn't.
2007-12-30 02:28:09 · answer #9 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she created the baby and is now rejecting it becasue it is not perfect. You don;t get to chose these things you get what you get and every baby need love. I totally see the problem. No affence but maybe she wont be able to have any more children and that might be a good thing. She isn't willing to take care of her child right now. I know it is a tough sitation but if she is jsut going to give it away that is wrong.
2007-12-30 01:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by Noodle 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Let's put it this way: If she's the type of mother who is willing to give up her child to try to have a child who might be more acceptable to her, giving that child up is probably the best thing for the child. No child would want to grow up with that type of a mother.
And you don't have to worry one moment about this woman: No one is safe from karma.
2007-12-30 01:09:14 · answer #11 · answered by Tikva 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋