Fighting Newlyweds?

Question

My husband and me just got married in October, but we have been living together since last December and had our son in June.. so you can say we never really got to have the newlywed moment. We are fighting a lot (mostly small but today one large fight), and I know everyone says that the first year of marriage is the hardest but how was everyone else's experience? Today's large fight came down to him saying that he doesn't know if he loves me anymore, and I am not sure what to do. I love him with all my heart, and I try to show him when I can (when my 6-mth-old and his work/sleep schedule allows me). We have had 4 fights that have came down to us almost ending, but we have always worked through it and were fine after that. This is our first big fight while married, and I am worried that if these large fights continue that we could end in divorce because he doesn't think that this is normal. When things are good with us, it is nice.. it just isn't when it's going bad.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Hello I have been married sence August and me and my husband have known each other for 13 years ( we first met and became friends at age 8) but we have had a few bad fights and he has almost left me and i have almost left him.I remember having a big fight about something small and it got so bad i actually almost walk out the door. but yes its normal for newly weds to fight and sometimes get into bad fights that are hurtful and everything but give it time and things will get better. Usually the first year of marriage is hard but even threw all the fights and harsh words all that matters is you guys love each other and there is nothing wrong with getting mad at one and another every once in a while.

Answer 2

I'm in the same situation. I've been with my husband 4 years and married for 2 years and we have a 2 year old together. It's been very very hard since I had the baby. I'm always angry and depressed we fight all the time he has left the house 5 times already this year. We recently had a big fight and we were even talking about getting a divorce he said he couldn't take it anymore. He now has been at his mom's for 3 weeks but said he would give it one more try. This time I promise myself I will try my best to treat this man the way he deserves to be treated. I recommend the book "the proper care and feeding of husbands" It's a really good book...God bless

Answer 3

He probably didn't mean it but you should sit down and talk seriously about what he said. If he meant it, there is a problem.

Usually people say that the first marriage years are the best but having a baby is a different story. Could you leave a baby for a weekend with your parents and have a romantic getaway? You need to spend some time together to get your sparks back. How is your sex life?

Answer 4

Well, welcome to married world! Marriage is the biggest project ever in our lives, bigger than office projects! I think you are both involving too much into the family situations instead of giving time for each other - the way i see the picture - you both will have to make efforts for each other which involves each other's families: And that's the most difficult part in life - he will love his mum/dad, but he may not feel the same with yours, respects or finds something wrong, and the same with you, you will love your own family but won't feel exact 'in love' with his family - and all the time you will both have to give and take from each other. After couple of years of the marriage, the ups and downs, you will both realise that family is not as important to you both, but each other and will try to give more time for each other than others. Why don't you try to calm him down and ask him wha'ts the problem, may be his bloody mother said something while you were with the family, or his brother, or something, and men are silly creatures they get carried away hearing other people's openions and get turned off from things,,, like if the mother said something about you, or the brother or whatever; the only solution is he has to sit like a proper pure pet and listen to the wife, because the house boss is only YOU the woman, and the main boss of the home is the MAN. But - in this generation, there is communication reasons to sit and listen to one another. Come on, try to figure it out what's his problem, it's as tiring stressful to you as for him.... COMMUNICATE BOTH OF YOU!

Answer 5

I've been married for two years. The first year was great. The second year we had our daughter and it was hard and we have our ups and downs. I think it is just an adjustment with having a baby and getting yourself together financially and whatever. I think you're going to be fine. Remember things always work out in the end. Try to have a positive attitude. Good luck.

Answer 6

Open up the bible, read it and pray. Forgive him for saying mean things to you sometimes people say things that they don't really mean. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and even if it really is his fault and he is being a jerk take a blow. My husband and I havn't been married too long. We got married in June. We don't always see eye to eye on somethings and get into fights, but reguardless of who is right or wrong we have come to the conclusion that by saying "I do" it means a commitment that even when times are rough we stick close together. If i were you i'd read the bible and that usually helps me understand that sometimes even if i'm right that I can't let pride get in the way. Maybe you could start praying together.. thats what my husband and I do.

Answer 7

Marriage is very difficult, and should never be taken lightly. But the thought that he could tell you that he does not love you any more is much more than a sign that the game might be over, sorry to say. I hope that I am wrong, but marriage is a give and take, 50 50. Letting some small things go, and just remembering why you love that person, and making sure that that person understands that you need to be loved too.

Answer 8

Our first year was the hardest. Next was the year that we built our house. I did not think that we would make it through that. Having an argument or a disagreement should not end your marriage. Is he saying this just to get at you because he is mad. It is easier to discuss these fights and how you feel when you are no longer mad and it is over. That way everyone is calm and rational. I would tell him not to be so quick to throw in the towel.

Answer 9

Having a baby and getting married can be very stressful and it sounds like the stress is getting to you both. Counseling might help you with your martial problems. If you are both willing to work on the relationship, then you have a good chance of working things out. Just try to remember that things will get better.

Answer 10

Welcome to marriage hell and reality. Once you both said
"I do" your loving relationship was over. Some people realize this in weeks and get divorced other people lie to themselves for years!!! You know the married couples I'm talking about that say they are so happy and in love and divorced soon after LOL Well you just realized that it is over. Marriage destroys even soul mates. Take an honest look at all the married couples you know are any of them still truly in love?!? You don't have to answer we all already know the answer. If you are ever lucky enough to fall in love with someone again. DON'T GET MARRIED!!!