i dated this guy for 5 years and he cheated on me with my best friend she ended up pregnant. he begged me for over a year to take him back. i wouldn't but i did continue to slep with him. the other woman moved with the child out of state and he was torn up about it and he asked me what to do. i told him to follow his child. while he was living out of state he called me about once or twice a week always telling me he loves me. i told him to stop saying that and he asked me why and i told him that love was gone from our relationship the day she took the pregnancy test. well about two years ago he married her. he said he did it for the child. a year ago they moved back and we continued sleeping together . the problem is i am pregnant and am so confused. i have not told him yet. i do still love him but the other woman will always be in the picture. help!
2007-12-29 15:40:37 · 19 answers · asked by adk_in_ar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No one on Y!A can give you the help you need, lady.
EDIT: I just read a question that you posted 2 weeks ago:
What is a god fertility pill to take (over the counter)?
me and my boyfriend of 9 years are trying to have a baby any ideas to help speed up the process?
Humm....sound familiar? You're fooling no one. You got pregnant on purpose. How sickening!!
2007-12-29 15:48:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Wow. Well you have to think about the child you are carrying. The child needs a father, so you must tell the father as soon as possible. Yes the other woman will always be there, but you will all have to be civil for the children involved. Also, don't take this guys back, no matter how much you love him. What makes you think he won't do the same to you? He has already cheated on you once that you know of, and at least once on his wife.
2007-12-29 15:49:12 · answer #2 · answered by Manda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on you, then he cheated on his wife.... Sounds like a posative influence for your child to be. Now that there is a child involved, you are stuck with him for 18 years. By no means am I suggesting you have a relationship, or casual "adult interactions" with him. That is the last thing you should do. Get your child support, let him be a part of his child's life (if he chooses to), but by no means should he really be a part of yours. He is going to take you two steps back every time. Find/reconnect with some supportive friends, and raise your child. You will have a fulfilling relationship if you believe you can. Don't get stuck into the comfortable situation circle. If you keep doing something not good for you day after day just out of comfort or complacency, you will never be happy. Your responsibility now is to your child first and yourself second. He doesn't need to be holding you back. You can do this, you'll be ok. You just have to stay posative.
2007-12-29 15:54:15 · answer #3 · answered by Robert G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how many excuses you try to come up with such as you started seeing him before his wife, the one thing you can't get past is the fact you and him had an affair and put yourself in the situation. The only thing u can do is tell him and the wife and have all three of you figure it out together. Good luck with that though! I doubt he's gonna turn around and marry you for the sake of a child. Once a cheater always a cheater didn't u figure that out long ago???????/
2007-12-29 16:05:18 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks that through all of this you didn't have anyone around you to tell you how stupid and wrong you were in sleeping with a married man!
Now you are living the worst of what can happen. You have not only destroyed the life of one child, but of two. Way to go!
Have fun with the mess you've created. Get some counseling. You have some issues to deal with to ensure you don't do something like this ever again.
2007-12-29 16:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What R U doing? Is there only one man in the world for you? Now that you are carrying his child, you will be forever tied to this person. Is this what you want out of life... to share a man? Don't know what your belief is, but I would seriously consider if I would want to keep this child. You do need to get a back bone and learn to say NO, no matter what your feelings are for this man...he did get married with child. What is it you want? Him and to be faithful? Sorry to say, the reality is THIS will NEVER happen, it's been five years. Get a grip on life and yourself, otherwise you will have an unhappy problematic future with this man. I hope you think more of yourself, than to choose this kind of life. Good luck!
2007-12-29 15:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you guys really love each other i dont think that him marring the other women for the child was a good idea though if he still loved you.... i hope this guy isnt playing you.. you too really need to work this out though it dosnt matter that the other women would always be in the picture because they have a child together so even if you didnt get pregnant and the two of you got back together shed be there any way....but either way you need to tell him that you are pregnant!
2007-12-29 15:55:26 · answer #7 · answered by ♥LiL MiSs NeAt♥ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You knew that he was married so why even put yourself out there like that. It frustrates me to hear all of these women sneaking around with married men. I don't understand why you feel like you need to have someone Else's man. Why not find your own. Do you think he is going to leave his wife for you because you had a child. You are wrong!!!! I am sorry, but I take this personal because I am married and I have discovered that there are a lot of trifling women out there that sleep with these married men thinking that they can take them away from there wives and they are so wrong. Even if he does leave his wife for you, what makes you think he will be faithful to you.
2007-12-29 16:23:20 · answer #8 · answered by Mita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should not have been sleeping with a married man. He doesn't love you. If he loved you he wouldn't have cheated on you and you would have the ring on YOUR finger and the other girl would not have gotten pregnant either cause he would have been with you IF he loved you. My advice to you is to pick up a bible and pray to God and ask God what he wants you to do because this situation is so sad and depressing that all I can think of is to tell you ask God who knows everything.
2007-12-29 16:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you already knew that he was in a relationship with the other person so were taking a chance just getting with him now that you are pregant do not get mad at him you should tell him and the two of you just sit down and decide what your next move is going to be.Good luck, I pray that all goes well.
2007-12-29 15:59:47 · answer #10 · answered by Talithea H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋