My husband was married before, and has three children from that marriage. His ex-wife will not follow the visitation as it is stated in the divorce decree, as he has not seen or spoken to his children in almost two years, as per her doing. She has decided that she would rather have him give up his parental rights and/or give them up for adoption to her new husband, than to allow him to have access to them. He has agreed to this, but we have no idea as to go about this without spending a lot of money (he pays $600/mo in child support on $9.50/hr). Is there any advise you could give me? We live in Missouri, and so does she.
2007-12-29 14:37:19 · 35 answers · asked by angbounds 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs to consult an attorney. It shouldn't cost a ton of money, many attorney's offer a free consultation. It's possible her attorney can draw up the paperwork all he will need is to have his attorney review it and make sure he's getting what he think he's getting. He should not sign anything his own attorney has not reviewed.
Having said that, if it were me I'd never do this. She cannot block visitation if he refuses to allow it. He can go to the family court and represent himself and file contempt charges on her for blocking access. If he gives up he is going to have to answer to his children one day when they come asking why he never loved them enough to fight to see them.
2007-12-29 14:42:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jen70 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
If she is getting $600 a month - do you honestly think she is going to do this? Most likely not. As for giving up parental rights- do not SIGN anything - except through a lawyer, your lawyer. giving up parents rights means just that- you give up your rights to the child---but, that does NOT mean you give up supporting that child- so, the payments will still have to be paid- so, in the end..she wins... you still pay, but, yet, he has no legal right to his children.
If the new husband would adopt the child- that would be a different story. but, this is not something YOU can do - this would be her that has to file for this. So, legally- you won't be spending money on this- she will.
so, watch your back, be smart about it- and get great legal advice (from an attorney- not from here)before signing anything
If you are going to do anything- fight for visitation.
2008-01-02 05:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you're married to a guy who will walk away from his own flesh and blood in order to save money every month. You really want to be with that guy? If he can do it to her, he can do it to you. If he was truly a good guy, husband material and a great father, he would have gotten a lawyer and taken her to court for violating the visitation schedule, and insisted on seeing his own kids.
To give up his kids, he has to go before a judge, state why he's turning his back on the family he created, sign away his rights and abandon those kids for the rest of their lives. And then one day when they are grown, they'll come find the man who abandoned him and they are going to want answers.
Leave the loser before you get stuck having kids with him. Go find a real man who knows what responsibility, family, and loyalty is.
By they way, at $9.50 an hour the child support is 30% of the salary for 3 kids, is only like $494, so if he's paying more it's for their health care or any back child support he owes.
2007-12-29 14:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
My son just went thru' this last year. His ex was in agreement that she didn't want the children(3 boys) anymore and she would give up her rights to them. Until this time, she had moved repeatedly to prevent my son from seeing them. She met my son at the Friend of the Court, they were given a court date to appear in front of a judge, and that was that. The boys saw their father for the first time in 7 years and went home with him. What their mother did that day by signing papers was to say she no longer wanted to be their parent. This was in Michigan. State laws vary. Start by calling the Friend of the Court.
2007-12-29 14:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by BusyBody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he has made much of an effort to regain visitation of his children...why hasn't he gone back to court and had her charged with contempt for not adhereing to the court order? So there really is no reason for him NOT to sign away all parental rights. He will no longer be responsible for the financial support of the chldren but he will also never be able to enter the lives of the children because his paternity will become "null and void" in otherwords all he will be to them is a sperm donor.
2007-12-29 16:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may file a Declaration of Parental Interest with the Department of Health and Social Services. He has rights to decline her decision!!
Does he want to honestly "give up" on his children? I'm sure if the courts look at his income and situation, they will decide a reasonable child support for him to pay depending on how much their mother makes as well. If he pays child support, he has EVERY right to have visitatation with the children reguardless if their mother tells him no. She is in contempt if she wont let him see them if he is paying child support.
I suggest he gets himself a lawyer. (I thought they handle this kind of stuff when they get divorced?)
2007-12-29 14:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by Sapphire 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These children are not a piece of property and it is too bad the mother of these children don't have their best interest at heart. Shame on your husband for allowing this to happen, these are his children also and he needs to step up to the plate and be a part of their lives. If she doesn't want him to see them and wants to play games, he needs to let the courts know so they can take the proper legal action. These kids don't need to grow up thinking their father didn't care enough about them to keep them in his life.
2007-12-29 14:53:39 · answer #7 · answered by bobcatlady2u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to really think this out before he does this. I would take her to court and make her let me see them. To just give your kids up is a hard thing to do and I am afraid he may regret it the rest of his life.This is his own flesh and blood.My son tried to adopt his daughter and all he has to do is meet the real father at the courthouse and sign all the papers. He would have to get a lawyer to make up the papers. My Granddaughter doesn't want to change her name. No big deal.Her sperm donor doesn't and has never supported her or been a father to her.She knows my son is her daddy. Her choice. He just really needs to think about this. It could all work out find if he does but he may regret it later.
2007-12-29 14:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by Ava 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is paying support and wants to see his children, all he has to do is go to court .... she is in contempt of court by not letting him see his children.
If he wants to give his children up for adoption to his ex wife's husband, then you have to go to court for that too.
Each state has a legal aid service where it is based on your income what you pay. Most people pay nothing. If she is in a big hurry to do this then let her pay for it.
Just make sure after the adoption that you are not accountable for any more child support.
be cool...
2007-12-29 14:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, while some ex's can be a$$es, this is YOUR HUSBAND's fault......he should either have been at the lawyers office the first time she didn't let him see his kids or should have been with his kids.....there are no excuses.....the fact that he is willing to give up his children b/c she wants him to says a lot about him, not her.....so what about what she wants, they are his kids and he has an order to see them....to be in their lives......the only thing that is keeping him from doing that is HIM, not her. If he wants to give them up, as he already has essentially anyway, then he needs to see a lawyer.....possibly the same one he should have seen the first time he wasn't given his children per a court order. ugh!
2007-12-29 14:43:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋